For a moment, I am floating again. I feel like I am on a lazy river, all the pain and all the exhaustion slowly abandoning my body and just flowing into the water. I can’t help but sigh in relief, and I wonder if this truly is it. My brain just clinging to its memories before a literal, immortal monster of a mage erases them forever. Any second now, I would just forget it all and wake up like it’s any other day, free from my motivation to continue on, struggling to find something new.
My eyes open slowly, and I see darkness. Darkness that consumes it all, except for the luminous river I am floating on. It feels like it is made of soft stars, or something mystical like that.
Then, when I am ready to just close my eyes again, I hear a voice call me. Female, old and mature, yet still sparkling with energy. Reminds me of my mother in a way, but the pitch is too high, the words too sing songy.
“That was one dangerous trick you pulled. I wouldn’t do that again if I were you.”
I try to turn, sinking a little in the river of light and then looking to the side, on the dark shore. There’s a figure there now, sitting cross legged, wearing a ridiculously large witch hat. Her whole body language is relaxed, and for some reason I simply can’t determine anything else about her. Clothes, colour of the skin, of the eyes, of the hair? Nothing. It's like looking at a gray blotch on the corner of my eye… wearing a witch hat.
“You put up a good show, I won’t deny that… but is it really worth it if it kills you?”
I don’t feel comforted by this being’s words. In fact, I feel aggravated.
“What do you mean ‘show’? I didn’t do this for your entertainment, you know? I was trying to survive!”
The lack of voices in my mind and the whole extra-corporeal situation are just washing away the shyness from my body, along with all other sensations. I am not bothered by this at all.
“I did what I had to do. If it killed me, well… I guess that’s bad luck for me!”
“Have you begun thinking of how this would make others in your life feel?”
“There we go again, you’re just like the doctor aren’t you!?” I frown even harder, splashing some luminous water towards this stranger as I pass by them. In fact, I start swimming just so I remain level with her! Who does she think she is?! “So you want me to live for others then? Not for myself? Should I continue on a shitty life because if I didn’t, people would be sad!?”
“Well, yeah.” Contrary to the doctor, this figure answers without a second of doubt. “That’s what we do. We find reasons to live. If that reason is other people, isn’t that valid?”
Now it is me who stammers. I can’t really say this being is lying but…
“Isn’t it a failure if I don’t find my own reason to live?!”
“Your reason for living can change any second, it mutates, just like life does. Today you can go on because of your family, tomorrow out of spite. After that, out of love. Who knows!” I can feel her smile. “All reasons are valid and they are not worse or better than the other.”
“I feel like that is an oversimplification of the matter. But I can’t really say you’re wrong…?”
“Ruminate on that.”
“... Does this mean I am dead?”
“Just for a moment. Someone will bring you back in a moment, no worries.”
I keep swimming, floating by the gray figure on the shore. So someone is bringing me back, huh? It’s probably Mustafá, she probably didn’t have the guts to finish me off after all.
Wait, what am I talking about? She totally did! She was ready to shoot me dead that last time!
“What the Hell does she want from me?” I snarl a little bit, shaking my head. “She already has the book. What more can she possibly take from me?!”
“Oh she’s not as mean as you’re making her out to be.” The gray blotch shrugs.
“Maybe she felt guilty…”
“Nope. That’s definitely not it, she almost never feels guilt.”
“You know her a lot… are you a friend of hers or something?”
“Was.”
“Ah, right. We’re in Limbo or something.”
There’s a moment of comfortable silence. I don’t feel any hurry to wake up and this person, if a bit annoying, seems chill enough to just hang out with. I could get used to this.
“... So, you must be the one who wrote the book, huh? Humiko?” I finally say.
“I was the one who translated it to the Language of the Gods, yes.”
“Wait, so you didn’t write it, you just… translated it into a dead language…?”
“Yes.”
“...Why?”
“It’s a good story, it deserves to be told.”
“That is not what I asked. Why the Language of the Gods? You know no one reads it!”
“A tale sticks with its reader much better if it is interactive. If you have to work for it, you’ll remember it for much longer. Besides, the world needs to re-learn the Language.”
“Wait, so you know it? The Language of the Gods?”
“It took me a long while… but I mastered it, yes.”
I look at Humiko, glaring into her unknowable form for a moment as I cross my arms.
“So I was chosen to translate it. Is there a secret to my bloodline or something that made you choose me?”
“Oh I didn’t choose you. I didn’t choose anyone! All I said was ‘this has to be translated by a New Mage, it must be read with fresh eyes’.” Humiko laughs. “The fact that you specifically are here? It’s pure coincidence and your own force of will.”
Well that’s "nice" to hear… I can’t help but feel a little discouraged by that fact. Then again, it is much less stress on my shoulders! I am not chosen by some mystical reason or something, so I can just pass this work to someone else.
For some reason, my mind immediately rejects that fact. I am the one reading the book, I will be the one to translate, and that’s final.
“Can I ask more questions?” I tilt my head to the side… and the water suddenly stops flowing. The light of the river begins to dim. “A-Ah, I guess that’s a no.”
“You get three.”
“What’s ‘The Place were Everything Starts’?”
“Ask Mustafá.” Humiko slowly gets on her feet.
“What does ‘Asu’ mean, in the Language?”
“It’s a form of showing the importance of something. Like ‘The’, but in capital bold letters. It’s not ‘the language’, it’s ‘THE language’.”
“Hah! So I wasn’t far off…!”
I can feel the water starting to drain, as if someone had pulled the cork out of a bathtub. Soon enough I am fighting for my life once again, desperately swimming against the growing currents.
“Uhm, uhm…!”
“One more~.” Humiko looks way too entertained by my suffering. I am starting to hate this woman.
I don’t know what to ask. Well, I know several questions in my mind, but I can’t decide on one while trying to fight out of a damn whirlpool!
“Does ‘Thako’ really mean ‘Touch’!?”
“Nope. It means ‘Surprising’. It makes things burst out suddenly when activated.”
“I knew it…!”
The light of the river was completely snuffed. I could still feel the water pushing against me, but I couldn’t see anything anymore. Humiko’s voice was still clear, though.
“Be careful of whom you trust, there are forces around you, conspiring. Do not give up knowledge of the book unless you really, really have to!”
“A-Alright…!”
“I’ll see you again soon! Hopefully not like this!”
Finally, my body starts to ache again. I can’t fight anymore… so I just surrender to the tide. It swallows me whole, shaking me like a damn ragdoll.
And then suddenly, just like that, I wake up. I am gasping for air, laying on my ugly pink couch. The lights are on, it must be late at night… and yet I hear oil sizzling in the kitchen. I smell a burger in the making.
“Are you serious…?”
There’s a little hope in my mind that it may be Venus, or anyone else but the mage that killed me… but when I stumble off the couch and into the kitchen, I find no one but Mustafá herself, working at the stove and flipping the burger a few times.
I stare in awe for a moment, not of her burger flipping skills but of her absolute audacity. The nerve this woman has is incredible. She even looks me in the eye and, without even flinching, she says.
“There’s only one Mastodon™ burger.”
Still without knowing what to do, struggling with anxiety and indignation, I stare at her for a good few seconds before saying.
“Yes. I know that. I was saving it.”
“Too bad.”
“Too Bad!? I. You!” I have to push down the violent instinct rising in my body.
“Kill her. Kill her again.”
“Why are you still here!? Why are you eating my food!? You tried to kill me!” My arms swing as I wildly articulate.
“I saved your life after you foolishly tried to replicate a spell you’re too young and weak to manifest.” Mustafá said, focusing once again on the burger. “Can you make some rice?”
“Answer. My damn. Questions!” I reach for her but something stops me from actually grabbing the wizard and shake the hell out of her. “Why are you here!?”
“I took a decision.”
“What decision!?”
“If you make rice, I will tell you.”
“I—” I cover my face with both hands for a moment, letting out the air building out in my lungs. “LKAJSDAÑLKSJAKDJFGLGJKASD!!”
“That’s a new one.”
“Fine! I will make your fucking rice! Can’t you use magic for it though!?”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes I fucking do! You made weapons and explosions with your mind, you can make yourself some rice!”
“That’s not how magic works.”
I can’t even argue with that, because I don’t even know if she’s lying now! With anger boiling in my stomach, I walk over to get the water heater working. Once that’s running, I walk back to Mustafá.
“The water is boiling! Now, will you tell me this decision of yours!?”
“The knowledge you are coveting is too dangerous. That book you carry is too important. But you will not do the rational thing and let go of it.”
“At least she understood that.”
“So I will stay with you and oversee your progress. I will teach you.”
My anger is snuffed in an instant. Wait, really? I’d get to learn from this beast of a mage? Does that mean I could become as powerful as her one day? With her supervision, I will have this thing translated in an instant!
“Are you forgetting how she tried to kill us not too long ago?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t trust her too much.”
Humiko trusts her though. Maybe that’s a sign!
“... What made you decide this? Why wouldn’t you just do that from the start!?” I say, trying to reignite the flame of my indignation.
“I didn’t want to waste more time than I absolutely have to.” Oof, getting angry at this woman was incredibly easy, wasn’t it? “You didn’t show potential until I pushed you to the brink. I had no idea if you’d make a good apprentice before that.”
“T-Thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Now, continue with the rice. This burger is almost done.”
With a heavy sigh, I set up to make the rice. I salté the grains a little bit, add the water and then leave it to cook on the fire. My eyes turn to Mustafá again, watching her flip the burger a few more times. Those golden eyes of hers are so bright, intense, expressive despite her apparent lack of emotion.
I try to peer a bit more intensely into them, try to guess what she is thinking.
Nothing. Those windows to the soul are locked and covered in thick, lead curtains.
“That spell you attempted.” She finally says. “Where did you learn it?”
“Ah? I-It was the title of the Book.”
“Was it, now…” Mustafá left the burger on a plate and cut it in half, the thing was a Mastodon™ burger after all! It was more than enough for two people, filling the entire plate with beef at first. “Well. It’s a very dangerous spell. Do not cast it ever again.”
“It was powerful though, wasn’t it? I have no idea what it does but, it must have been powerful to give you pause!” I grin, proud of my achievement, but Mustafá is quick to cut my pride down.
“It did not give me pause. I wanted to see what you’d do with it.”
“Well, what does it do? Does it explode like your butterflies do?”
“It grants you one object, any object in existence, upon request. The more specific the request, the better quality the object you conjure.”
“That’s… wow. That’s immensely powerful! What did I conjure?”
“A magical compass.”
“...What.”
“A magical comp—”
“Yes, I heard you. How did that stop you?!”
“What did you ask for?”
“Something to deter you from wanting to kill me.”
“...Huh. It certainly worked as intended.”
“How so?” I blinked. “Was it a brainwashing compass or something?”
“Don’t be stupid.” She shook her head. “The rice is burning.”
“Shit!”
I run to check on the stove and turn off the fire, sighing and serving rice for the two plates. I then go over to the table, moving my computer to the side so Mustafá and I have room to eat. It… still feels strange, having dinner with the woman who tried to kill me a few hours ago.
But I guess weirder things have happened in the world of magic. At least I hope so.
“... Don’t use that spell again.” She repeats, before starting to eat.
“Why not? It’s almost literally a wish!” I frown, taking a bite of my own burger.
“It’s highly inefficient, requires too much energy to be used and function properly, it dispells almost instantly without a constant flux, and using it can take away a year of your life at a minimum.”
“A whole year!?”
“That’s what I said.”
I can feel death clinging to my back all of a sudden. Perfect, now I will be thinking of that tonight.
“One year less of time. Hah, way to doom yourself.”
“Alright then, message received. Not using that ever, ever again!”
“Good.” She takes another bite off her burger. “...We will start classes as soon as you put this place in order. It's a dump.”
“See? Told you!”
“Y-Yes ma’am.”
With a loud sigh, and after I finish what was left of my half-burger, I get right back up from my chair and walk over to the still open window. The adrenaline is finally dissolving in my system, so nothing is stopping me from breaking down crying out of stress now… and yet, no tears are flowing this time.
I have a weird feeling. This is a victory, after all!
Maybe, just maybe, today is the start of something good…
… I need to tell the others.
For a moment, I am floating again. I feel like I am on a lazy river, all the pain and all the exhaustion slowly abandoning my body and just flowing into the water. I can’t help but sigh in relief, and I wonder if this truly is it. My brain just clinging to its memories before a literal, immortal monster of a mage erases them forever. Any second now, I would just forget it all and wake up like it’s any other day, free from my motivation to continue on, struggling to find something new.
My eyes open slowly, and I see darkness. Darkness that consumes it all, except for the luminous river I am floating on. It feels like it is made of soft stars, or something mystical like that.
Then, when I am ready to just close my eyes again, I hear a voice call me. Female, old and mature, yet still sparkling with energy. Reminds me of my mother in a way, but the pitch is too high, the words too sing songy.
“That was one dangerous trick you pulled. I wouldn’t do that again if I were you.”
I try to turn, sinking a little in the river of light and then looking to the side, on the dark shore. There’s a figure there now, sitting cross legged, wearing a ridiculously large witch hat. Her whole body language is relaxed, and for some reason I simply can’t determine anything else about her. Clothes, colour of the skin, of the eyes, of the hair? Nothing. It's like looking at a gray blotch on the corner of my eye… wearing a witch hat.
“You put up a good show, I won’t deny that… but is it really worth it if it kills you?”
I don’t feel comforted by this being’s words. In fact, I feel aggravated.
“What do you mean ‘show’? I didn’t do this for your entertainment, you know? I was trying to survive!”
The lack of voices in my mind and the whole extra-corporeal situation are just washing away the shyness from my body, along with all other sensations. I am not bothered by this at all.
“I did what I had to do. If it killed me, well… I guess that’s bad luck for me!”
“Have you begun thinking of how this would make others in your life feel?”
“There we go again, you’re just like the doctor aren’t you!?” I frown even harder, splashing some luminous water towards this stranger as I pass by them. In fact, I start swimming just so I remain level with her! Who does she think she is?! “So you want me to live for others then? Not for myself? Should I continue on a shitty life because if I didn’t, people would be sad!?”
“Well, yeah.” Contrary to the doctor, this figure answers without a second of doubt. “That’s what we do. We find reasons to live. If that reason is other people, isn’t that valid?”
Now it is me who stammers. I can’t really say this being is lying but…
“Isn’t it a failure if I don’t find my own reason to live?!”
“Your reason for living can change any second, it mutates, just like life does. Today you can go on because of your family, tomorrow out of spite. After that, out of love. Who knows!” I can feel her smile. “All reasons are valid and they are not worse or better than the other.”
“I feel like that is an oversimplification of the matter. But I can’t really say you’re wrong…?”
“Ruminate on that.”
“... Does this mean I am dead?”
“Just for a moment. Someone will bring you back in a moment, no worries.”
I keep swimming, floating by the gray figure on the shore. So someone is bringing me back, huh? It’s probably Mustafá, she probably didn’t have the guts to finish me off after all.
Wait, what am I talking about? She totally did! She was ready to shoot me dead that last time!
“What the Hell does she want from me?” I snarl a little bit, shaking my head. “She already has the book. What more can she possibly take from me?!”
“Oh she’s not as mean as you’re making her out to be.” The gray blotch shrugs.
“Maybe she felt guilty…”
“Nope. That’s definitely not it, she almost never feels guilt.”
“You know her a lot… are you a friend of hers or something?”
“Was.”
“Ah, right. We’re in Limbo or something.”
There’s a moment of comfortable silence. I don’t feel any hurry to wake up and this person, if a bit annoying, seems chill enough to just hang out with. I could get used to this.
“... So, you must be the one who wrote the book, huh? Humiko?” I finally say.
“I was the one who translated it to the Language of the Gods, yes.”
“Wait, so you didn’t write it, you just… translated it into a dead language…?”
“Yes.”
“...Why?”
“It’s a good story, it deserves to be told.”
“That is not what I asked. Why the Language of the Gods? You know no one reads it!”
“A tale sticks with its reader much better if it is interactive. If you have to work for it, you’ll remember it for much longer. Besides, the world needs to re-learn the Language.”
“Wait, so you know it? The Language of the Gods?”
“It took me a long while… but I mastered it, yes.”
I look at Humiko, glaring into her unknowable form for a moment as I cross my arms.
“So I was chosen to translate it. Is there a secret to my bloodline or something that made you choose me?”
“Oh I didn’t choose you. I didn’t choose anyone! All I said was ‘this has to be translated by a New Mage, it must be read with fresh eyes’.” Humiko laughs. “The fact that you specifically are here? It’s pure coincidence and your own force of will.”
Well that’s "nice" to hear… I can’t help but feel a little discouraged by that fact. Then again, it is much less stress on my shoulders! I am not chosen by some mystical reason or something, so I can just pass this work to someone else.
For some reason, my mind immediately rejects that fact. I am the one reading the book, I will be the one to translate, and that’s final.
“Can I ask more questions?” I tilt my head to the side… and the water suddenly stops flowing. The light of the river begins to dim. “A-Ah, I guess that’s a no.”
“You get three.”
“What’s ‘The Place were Everything Starts’?”
“Ask Mustafá.” Humiko slowly gets on her feet.
“What does ‘Asu’ mean, in the Language?”
“It’s a form of showing the importance of something. Like ‘The’, but in capital bold letters. It’s not ‘the language’, it’s ‘THE language’.”
“Hah! So I wasn’t far off…!”
I can feel the water starting to drain, as if someone had pulled the cork out of a bathtub. Soon enough I am fighting for my life once again, desperately swimming against the growing currents.
“Uhm, uhm…!”
“One more~.” Humiko looks way too entertained by my suffering. I am starting to hate this woman.
I don’t know what to ask. Well, I know several questions in my mind, but I can’t decide on one while trying to fight out of a damn whirlpool!
“Does ‘Thako’ really mean ‘Touch’!?”
“Nope. It means ‘Surprising’. It makes things burst out suddenly when activated.”
“I knew it…!”
The light of the river was completely snuffed. I could still feel the water pushing against me, but I couldn’t see anything anymore. Humiko’s voice was still clear, though.
“Be careful of whom you trust, there are forces around you, conspiring. Do not give up knowledge of the book unless you really, really have to!”
“A-Alright…!”
“I’ll see you again soon! Hopefully not like this!”
Finally, my body starts to ache again. I can’t fight anymore… so I just surrender to the tide. It swallows me whole, shaking me like a damn ragdoll.
And then suddenly, just like that, I wake up. I am gasping for air, laying on my ugly pink couch. The lights are on, it must be late at night… and yet I hear oil sizzling in the kitchen. I smell a burger in the making.
“Are you serious…?”
There’s a little hope in my mind that it may be Venus, or anyone else but the mage that killed me… but when I stumble off the couch and into the kitchen, I find no one but Mustafá herself, working at the stove and flipping the burger a few times.
I stare in awe for a moment, not of her burger flipping skills but of her absolute audacity. The nerve this woman has is incredible. She even looks me in the eye and, without even flinching, she says.
“There’s only one Mastodon™ burger.”
Still without knowing what to do, struggling with anxiety and indignation, I stare at her for a good few seconds before saying.
“Yes. I know that. I was saving it.”
“Too bad.”
“Too Bad!? I. You!” I have to push down the violent instinct rising in my body.
“Kill her. Kill her again.”
“Why are you still here!? Why are you eating my food!? You tried to kill me!” My arms swing as I wildly articulate.
“I saved your life after you foolishly tried to replicate a spell you’re too young and weak to manifest.” Mustafá said, focusing once again on the burger. “Can you make some rice?”
“Answer. My damn. Questions!” I reach for her but something stops me from actually grabbing the wizard and shake the hell out of her. “Why are you here!?”
“I took a decision.”
“What decision!?”
“If you make rice, I will tell you.”
“I—” I cover my face with both hands for a moment, letting out the air building out in my lungs. “LKAJSDAÑLKSJAKDJFGLGJKASD!!”
“That’s a new one.”
“Fine! I will make your fucking rice! Can’t you use magic for it though!?”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes I fucking do! You made weapons and explosions with your mind, you can make yourself some rice!”
“That’s not how magic works.”
I can’t even argue with that, because I don’t even know if she’s lying now! With anger boiling in my stomach, I walk over to get the water heater working. Once that’s running, I walk back to Mustafá.
“The water is boiling! Now, will you tell me this decision of yours!?”
“The knowledge you are coveting is too dangerous. That book you carry is too important. But you will not do the rational thing and let go of it.”
“At least she understood that.”
“So I will stay with you and oversee your progress. I will teach you.”
My anger is snuffed in an instant. Wait, really? I’d get to learn from this beast of a mage? Does that mean I could become as powerful as her one day? With her supervision, I will have this thing translated in an instant!
“Are you forgetting how she tried to kill us not too long ago?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t trust her too much.”
Humiko trusts her though. Maybe that’s a sign!
“... What made you decide this? Why wouldn’t you just do that from the start!?” I say, trying to reignite the flame of my indignation.
“I didn’t want to waste more time than I absolutely have to.” Oof, getting angry at this woman was incredibly easy, wasn’t it? “You didn’t show potential until I pushed you to the brink. I had no idea if you’d make a good apprentice before that.”
“T-Thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Now, continue with the rice. This burger is almost done.”
With a heavy sigh, I set up to make the rice. I salté the grains a little bit, add the water and then leave it to cook on the fire. My eyes turn to Mustafá again, watching her flip the burger a few more times. Those golden eyes of hers are so bright, intense, expressive despite her apparent lack of emotion.
I try to peer a bit more intensely into them, try to guess what she is thinking.
Nothing. Those windows to the soul are locked and covered in thick, lead curtains.
“That spell you attempted.” She finally says. “Where did you learn it?”
“Ah? I-It was the title of the Book.”
“Was it, now…” Mustafá left the burger on a plate and cut it in half, the thing was a Mastodon™ burger after all! It was more than enough for two people, filling the entire plate with beef at first. “Well. It’s a very dangerous spell. Do not cast it ever again.”
“It was powerful though, wasn’t it? I have no idea what it does but, it must have been powerful to give you pause!” I grin, proud of my achievement, but Mustafá is quick to cut my pride down.
“It did not give me pause. I wanted to see what you’d do with it.”
“Well, what does it do? Does it explode like your butterflies do?”
“It grants you one object, any object in existence, upon request. The more specific the request, the better quality the object you conjure.”
“That’s… wow. That’s immensely powerful! What did I conjure?”
“A magical compass.”
“...What.”
“A magical comp—”
“Yes, I heard you. How did that stop you?!”
“What did you ask for?”
“Something to deter you from wanting to kill me.”
“...Huh. It certainly worked as intended.”
“How so?” I blinked. “Was it a brainwashing compass or something?”
“Don’t be stupid.” She shook her head. “The rice is burning.”
“Shit!”
I run to check on the stove and turn off the fire, sighing and serving rice for the two plates. I then go over to the table, moving my computer to the side so Mustafá and I have room to eat. It… still feels strange, having dinner with the woman who tried to kill me a few hours ago.
But I guess weirder things have happened in the world of magic. At least I hope so.
“... Don’t use that spell again.” She repeats, before starting to eat.
“Why not? It’s almost literally a wish!” I frown, taking a bite of my own burger.
“It’s highly inefficient, requires too much energy to be used and function properly, it dispells almost instantly without a constant flux, and using it can take away a year of your life at a minimum.”
“A whole year!?”
“That’s what I said.”
I can feel death clinging to my back all of a sudden. Perfect, now I will be thinking of that tonight.
“One year less of time. Hah, way to doom yourself.”
“Alright then, message received. Not using that ever, ever again!”
“Good.” She takes another bite off her burger. “...We will start classes as soon as you put this place in order. It's a dump.”
“See? Told you!”
“Y-Yes ma’am.”
With a loud sigh, and after I finish what was left of my half-burger, I get right back up from my chair and walk over to the still open window. The adrenaline is finally dissolving in my system, so nothing is stopping me from breaking down crying out of stress now… and yet, no tears are flowing this time.
I have a weird feeling. This is a victory, after all!
Maybe, just maybe, today is the start of something good…
… I need to tell the others.
