The blood dripped from my arm and froze alongside the ice. I was too cold to move, too cold to think. My senses were overwhelmed with a numbness that made me only want my father to wrap me up in his cloak like he had before and carry me to a warm fire.
The ice around me began to shatter, crunching under heavy boots as he broke the spikes piece by piece until he could look me straight in the eye. “You put it out, now light it…” He said firmly, issuing a command. It wasn’t a test or an exam, it was an order.
‘He’s changed so much. Is this really the man I knew? No, just now he broke the ice and made it so he could see me. He must have been checking on me right? I’m sure if something went wrong he wouldn’t let me die. Even with the poison… I was still given the antidote.’
I took a deep breath, the air in my lungs feeling heavy and cold, but still allowing me to refocus. ‘If holding onto cold erupted ice… Holding onto heat should cause fire…’
I was beginning to understand. Before I had managed to create fire and water, but the effort wasn’t sustained, it was like a firework that fizzled out quickly after lighting up, in order to create real magic you had to not only create it with your own manna but guide it with the manna in the air around you, connecting it to the world.
I imagined the burning feeling of pain that shot through me when I cut my arm with the war bow. The intense heat from the poison that coursed through my veins, and fiery anger I felt towards Bhaltair every time his fist connected with my battered body.
The fire erupted from the candle into a brilliant red flame, it was far less powerful than the ice. Its warmth melted my frozen body and heated up the air in moments. It was small, but so condensed that I felt like I would get burned from just looking at it.
“Good.” He said. “Now come here.”
As I relaxed and stood up the flame shrank down to that of a normal candlelight. ‘Father, you look so stoic, I wonder, are you proud? Are you happy that I got it so quickly, or maybe you won’t let yourself feel hope until this is all over and you realize I don’t have to die.’
My thoughts continued to drift. The man I remembered from the past was kind and loving, a far cry from the man before me. I refused to believe that he had changed so much. I didn’t want to, so instead I found myself coming up with excuses.
‘I’m sure it’s hard to love someone you think will be gone in just a few months, but… just because it’s hard does that mean you won’t do it? Are you just trying not to get attached? If that’s true… Have you already given up on me in your heart?’
“Your first phase of training is now complete.” He grabbed my arm which was pierced with the ice and took a close look at it. “You did good...”
‘I just need to keep up this pace. If I can become strong then everything will get better.’ “What's phase two?” I asked with a deep voice, trying to show my determination.
“Heal your arm, not your broken one, this one.”
I paused. ‘If it works the same way as everything else did then I just have to imagine healing. Warmth but not heat. The ease of tension in my body when I finally relax, and the pain vanishing. My throat opened up when I took the antidote for poison. My arm ceiling up, scabbing over, and then healing.’
I felt a heat go through my arm as I saw it start to recover before my eyes.
“Good.”
I staggered backward, losing my balance for a moment as my body nearly gave out from under me.
“This is good, you're far exceeding my expectations. You're even still on your feet. You might just survive this after all.”
‘Maybe he’s proud after all… But this isn’t nearly enough. One healing spell and my stomach feels like it's eating itself… I’m so hungry… My arm didn’t even fully heal, and the wound wasn’t that deep either.’
“You can unleash your energy, but that's different from casting spells. Remember when I created a light to guide us through the tunnel? That wasn’t technically a spell, but the concept is the same.”
I quickly pushed my worries to the back of my mind and paid attention, hanging onto every word. “Your manna was focused and regulated,” I answered what was bound to be his next question.
He looked shocked for a moment, probably at my phrasing, but he recovered quickly. “Yes… Unleashing magical energy is as easy as latching onto emotions and experiences. Casting spells is all about giving those emotions shape.
He placed a hand on my shoulder, steadying me. “So far you are only visualizing how you feel, but to cast spells you must not visualize only an effect or emotion, but also the cause and shape. For example, to call down a meteor, you don't visualize heat, or a crater forming in the ground on impact, you visualize the massive rock forming in the sky. How many cracks does it have, what kind of rock is it? Is it a ball, or more in the shape of a diamond?”
‘I guess that makes sense… But it feels like he’s just saying the same thing over and over in a different way… Is there really any difference at all?’
I thought back to when I had tried to make plasma. ‘Plasma, in nature, is just something that’s really hot right? So if I want to visualize the cause, rather than the effect, I should think about something that makes a lot of heat, like electricity. Focus it into the shape of a ball.’
I thought back to the heat I felt as the ghoul was struck by lightning right in front of me. And focused on trying to make an electrical charge that would be strong enough to cause so much energy I could melt the air.
A small orb the size of a marble materialized above my palm. ‘That's it?’ My hand began to feel as though it was getting burned along with the spell and I dropped it.
In an instant, it melted through the floor leaving a scent of burned wood before dissipating as I quickly stomped out the fire.
My father let out a deep growl. “Don’t make a habit out of experimenting with magic, you can’t ever be seen using it. Do you understand?”
His cold intimidating voice sent a shiver down my spine. “Haha… Right… I’ll keep that in mind.”
I had only used magic maybe four times, but I felt totally drained after that last casting. My body was starting to feel cold again as I ran low on manna. It wasn’t bad though, just a little chill, and it quickly went away as I recovered.
“Good. Now for the hard part. You might hate me when we are done, but we are going to kill three birds with one stone. Eliminating your fear, building up your manna reserve and recovery, and teaching you to control your magic so that you don't tear your body apart when using it to strengthen yourself.”
“I guess we're taking another shortcut then…” I said coldly, not bothering to hide how much I disliked the idea.
“Indeed…” He grumbled.
‘If it will make me stronger, then don’t I have to go along with it? To an extent… I even want to go along with it. Whatever it takes…’ “Well, what are we doing?”
He grinned “That’s my girl.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, I never bothered to sort out my thoughts on the subject. The fact was it didn’t matter whether I hated or loved him. It wouldn’t change anything either way. Regardless, one thing was certain, when I heard him say I did good, it did bring a dim smile to my face.
Whether that was because I wanted him to be proud of me, or because I felt like I was proving him wrong every time I succeeded… Well, that part was still unclear.
The blood dripped from my arm and froze alongside the ice. I was too cold to move, too cold to think. My senses were overwhelmed with a numbness that made me only want my father to wrap me up in his cloak like he had before and carry me to a warm fire.
The ice around me began to shatter, crunching under heavy boots as he broke the spikes piece by piece until he could look me straight in the eye. “You put it out, now light it…” He said firmly, issuing a command. It wasn’t a test or an exam, it was an order.
‘He’s changed so much. Is this really the man I knew? No, just now he broke the ice and made it so he could see me. He must have been checking on me right? I’m sure if something went wrong he wouldn’t let me die. Even with the poison… I was still given the antidote.’
I took a deep breath, the air in my lungs feeling heavy and cold, but still allowing me to refocus. ‘If holding onto cold erupted ice… Holding onto heat should cause fire…’
I was beginning to understand. Before I had managed to create fire and water, but the effort wasn’t sustained, it was like a firework that fizzled out quickly after lighting up, in order to create real magic you had to not only create it with your own manna but guide it with the manna in the air around you, connecting it to the world.
I imagined the burning feeling of pain that shot through me when I cut my arm with the war bow. The intense heat from the poison that coursed through my veins, and fiery anger I felt towards Bhaltair every time his fist connected with my battered body.
The fire erupted from the candle into a brilliant red flame, it was far less powerful than the ice. Its warmth melted my frozen body and heated up the air in moments. It was small, but so condensed that I felt like I would get burned from just looking at it.
“Good.” He said. “Now come here.”
As I relaxed and stood up the flame shrank down to that of a normal candlelight. ‘Father, you look so stoic, I wonder, are you proud? Are you happy that I got it so quickly, or maybe you won’t let yourself feel hope until this is all over and you realize I don’t have to die.’
My thoughts continued to drift. The man I remembered from the past was kind and loving, a far cry from the man before me. I refused to believe that he had changed so much. I didn’t want to, so instead I found myself coming up with excuses.
‘I’m sure it’s hard to love someone you think will be gone in just a few months, but… just because it’s hard does that mean you won’t do it? Are you just trying not to get attached? If that’s true… Have you already given up on me in your heart?’
“Your first phase of training is now complete.” He grabbed my arm which was pierced with the ice and took a close look at it. “You did good...”
‘I just need to keep up this pace. If I can become strong then everything will get better.’ “What's phase two?” I asked with a deep voice, trying to show my determination.
“Heal your arm, not your broken one, this one.”
I paused. ‘If it works the same way as everything else did then I just have to imagine healing. Warmth but not heat. The ease of tension in my body when I finally relax, and the pain vanishing. My throat opened up when I took the antidote for poison. My arm ceiling up, scabbing over, and then healing.’
I felt a heat go through my arm as I saw it start to recover before my eyes.
“Good.”
I staggered backward, losing my balance for a moment as my body nearly gave out from under me.
“This is good, you're far exceeding my expectations. You're even still on your feet. You might just survive this after all.”
‘Maybe he’s proud after all… But this isn’t nearly enough. One healing spell and my stomach feels like it's eating itself… I’m so hungry… My arm didn’t even fully heal, and the wound wasn’t that deep either.’
“You can unleash your energy, but that's different from casting spells. Remember when I created a light to guide us through the tunnel? That wasn’t technically a spell, but the concept is the same.”
I quickly pushed my worries to the back of my mind and paid attention, hanging onto every word. “Your manna was focused and regulated,” I answered what was bound to be his next question.
He looked shocked for a moment, probably at my phrasing, but he recovered quickly. “Yes… Unleashing magical energy is as easy as latching onto emotions and experiences. Casting spells is all about giving those emotions shape.
He placed a hand on my shoulder, steadying me. “So far you are only visualizing how you feel, but to cast spells you must not visualize only an effect or emotion, but also the cause and shape. For example, to call down a meteor, you don't visualize heat, or a crater forming in the ground on impact, you visualize the massive rock forming in the sky. How many cracks does it have, what kind of rock is it? Is it a ball, or more in the shape of a diamond?”
‘I guess that makes sense… But it feels like he’s just saying the same thing over and over in a different way… Is there really any difference at all?’
I thought back to when I had tried to make plasma. ‘Plasma, in nature, is just something that’s really hot right? So if I want to visualize the cause, rather than the effect, I should think about something that makes a lot of heat, like electricity. Focus it into the shape of a ball.’
I thought back to the heat I felt as the ghoul was struck by lightning right in front of me. And focused on trying to make an electrical charge that would be strong enough to cause so much energy I could melt the air.
A small orb the size of a marble materialized above my palm. ‘That's it?’ My hand began to feel as though it was getting burned along with the spell and I dropped it.
In an instant, it melted through the floor leaving a scent of burned wood before dissipating as I quickly stomped out the fire.
My father let out a deep growl. “Don’t make a habit out of experimenting with magic, you can’t ever be seen using it. Do you understand?”
His cold intimidating voice sent a shiver down my spine. “Haha… Right… I’ll keep that in mind.”
I had only used magic maybe four times, but I felt totally drained after that last casting. My body was starting to feel cold again as I ran low on manna. It wasn’t bad though, just a little chill, and it quickly went away as I recovered.
“Good. Now for the hard part. You might hate me when we are done, but we are going to kill three birds with one stone. Eliminating your fear, building up your manna reserve and recovery, and teaching you to control your magic so that you don't tear your body apart when using it to strengthen yourself.”
“I guess we're taking another shortcut then…” I said coldly, not bothering to hide how much I disliked the idea.
“Indeed…” He grumbled.
‘If it will make me stronger, then don’t I have to go along with it? To an extent… I even want to go along with it. Whatever it takes…’ “Well, what are we doing?”
He grinned “That’s my girl.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, I never bothered to sort out my thoughts on the subject. The fact was it didn’t matter whether I hated or loved him. It wouldn’t change anything either way. Regardless, one thing was certain, when I heard him say I did good, it did bring a dim smile to my face.
Whether that was because I wanted him to be proud of me, or because I felt like I was proving him wrong every time I succeeded… Well, that part was still unclear.
