“Mom!” A yell echoed down the hall, as heavy footsteps pounded into the floor.
The door soon opened for none other than Lu to come running in, awkwardly staring at me. The only more confusing thing was how bruised and swollen she was. She looked like she had just lost a hundred fights… Which honestly might not have been a stretch.
‘Yeah… I’d probably feel like that too after the way she said goodbye.’ “You need something, Lu?”
She started rubbing her fingers together, snapping, pointing, and then looking over at Mara. “Right, Mom, can you help me work on my kicks I need a sparing partner. I’m this close to finally beating Air I can feel it.”
I raised my eyebrows. I was glad she was excited… but… Mara, kicking? I looked up at her ‘On that leg? She better not, Catherine would kill her.’ “I think Mom’s a bit busy the rest of the day. You could always work on your technique by yourself, or maybe drag Finlo into it.”
They both froze stiff, neither one responding, just blankly staring at me.
‘Was it something I said?’ I chuckled nervously. “Oh… Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have spoken for you since you’re right here.”
Mara waved her hands. “No no it’s fine, don’t worry about that.”
I looked back over to Lu. ‘Wait what?’ “Then…” ‘What’s wrong?’
Lu raised her eyebrows with an awkward smile. “You just called her Mom.”
I slowly turned back toward Mara, and then faced straight forward again, looking down to try and hide my face. “So, I did…”
A part of me felt almost like I was betraying my mom from my past life. A part of me felt like I was betraying myself… But, what must have been a much larger part of me felt happy. The rush of blood to my face was proof enough of that. Still, something was still off.
‘I mean, she was the woman that tried to kill me. She put me through grueling training every day, never taking a day off…’ My emotions started ramming into each other, instead of flowing through me, causing my brain to nearly stall out, fracturing time into splinters just to buy me time to think.
‘She was the woman that always made sure I got medicine when I was sick… And always made sure she was there when I woke up from a fever… She was even the one that gave me the antidote, even though someone else had poisoned me… She was the one who warmed me up, even when she knew she would get hurt doing it… She was the one that went toe to toe with a demon so that I wouldn’t have to fight it again… And the one that took on a dire wolf pack by herself because she was worried about me when I ran away…’
‘She carried me… Even on her broken leg… And… The whole time…’
“Siya?” She said my name as if asking what was wrong, but I had thought the time was frozen, so hearing her voice only made me stiffen up even more.
I stood up and turned to face her, looking her in the eyes. ‘This is the woman that laid in bed beside me every night when my gate was broken, for no real reason other than to make me feel warm. For better or for worse she’s always been by my side…’
Her eyes glanced back to Lu with unsure eyes. “Lu, can you give us a minute?”
“Uh… Yeah, no. I mean, sorry, I’ll go find Finlo instead.”
As her eyes turned back toward me it gave me chills, and time really did stop, I was sure of it because I could see her hair suspended mid-movement as she turned her head. ‘The whole time she pretended like nothing was wrong, told me it wasn’t my fault, and asked only how I was doing… She made it clear when I wasn’t performing, sure… But, she never once complained about having to waste so much time trying to teach someone as useless as– ’
“Siya…” Before I even realized it time was moving forward again, and my head was starting to ache, if not from the time dilation than the emotions I couldn’t explain. That was expected, it wasn’t anything unusual but, ‘Why… Does my chest hurt so much…’
I felt a tear drop land on one of my toes. ‘Am I happy, or sad? Angry maybe? I don’t…’ “Sorry, I don’t know, why this keeps happening…” I muttered wiping my eyes. ‘Am I just making excuses for her now? Like I did with my father for so long… Am I so desperate that I’m just making things up to convince myself she cares?’
I slowly took two steps forward, the sound of each one echoing as if I were taking them in slow motion pounding into the ground in perfect sink with my heartbeat. I could hear the creaking of the wood under my feet, and each teardrop as it fell from my face, splashing on the ground beneath me. I tried to breathe, but the air was getting caught in my lungs, only making the tears flow faster. ‘What’s wrong with me… what am I…’ It all flooded through me like a crashing wave, relentless, only to settle after striking the shore.
‘But what if… What if I was wrong about her, just like I was with my father…’ Time was moving so slowly, but even still my brain refused to catch up with my actions, as if it knew I wouldn’t go through with it once it had. My senses all sharpened until I could feel Her heart the same as my own. It pounded, the same as mine, a bit slower but still in perfect sync, like the beat of a song. ‘What am I reaching for? What does she have that I need? This doesn’t make any sense… None of it…’
Whatever grip I had on time shattered like a thin glass pane and before I could make sense of anything I found myself wrapping my arms around her, tugging on the fabric of her clothes. “I’m sorry mom…” I mumbled. ‘Last time she told me I didn’t have to apologize… So this time I’ll say it so quietly she can’t hear it…’
She slowly wrapped her arms around me as well, gently rocking me back and forth. “It’s alright Siya…”
I felt like my control of time ran wild, or like someone else was controlling it now, and I didn’t know how much time had actually passed by the time we let go.
“You gonna tell me what that was about?” She asked, leaning over so that we were at eye level.
I wiped my eyes as they started to hurt. “As if having my eyes turn red isn’t embarrassing enough? You want me to talk about my feelings too?”
“Oh, if that’s what you're worried about I could embarrass you in a few other ways, as like a warm-up. It’s not usually very hard.”
“Please don’t… my eyes already hurt…” I whined. ‘I can’t believe I’ve cried so much these past few days that now my eyes sting when I touch them, it’s so annoying… ’
“Then I guess you’ll just have to tell me.” She said, tilting her head with a big smile.
“What about you? You going to tell me what bringing together the seven braids symbolize?”
Her smile suddenly turned soft along with her eyes. “And… If I say it’s a secret?”
“Then I’m leaving…” I said bluntly, unamused.
“Ah boo.”
“Come on, I just cried my eyes out in front of you and you’re too embarrassed to tell me that much? Chicken…”
“Chicken?”
“It means you’re scared.”
She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips. “Do you really think I’m as gullible as your sister?”
“No, but you’re smart enough to know that I won’t talk if you don’t.”
She let out a sigh. “You know, I always thought having a kid that took after me would be great, but you're a freakin pain sometimes.” She groaned. “Fine fine I’ll tell you, AFTER you talk.
‘A kid that… No, that’s not important right now.’ “Ok, then tell me the reason you didn’t say it at least… Then I’ll spill my guts… You’re already covered in my tears and snot anyway…”
She grabbed her shirt, pulling it away from her to look at it. “This really isn't so bad you know, it’s just water. Things got a lot messier before we taught you how to use the bathroom.”
“Mom!” I whined, catching myself quickly eating my words as I said it again and my face turned bright red. I valued any and all the memories I had… But if there were a few I wish I didn’t, those probably would be the ones I would get rid of… Even my traumas at least gave me lessons, but that was just… Well, thankfully I learned quickly since it was my second time around.
Regardless of how she acted before, in that moment it almost felt like she was the same mom I had back on earth, and it was almost starting to become hard to distinguish between them… There were still subtle differences, like the way they stood, or the words they used, but what they said the same.
“Told you it was easy to embarrass you.” She said softly, her grin reaching all the way to her ears.
“Can you just be serious… I know this all probably just seems stupid but… It’s important ok…”
“Right right sorry, I’ve never been that good with the serious stuff, just give me a minute to calm down.”
“You are Mara right?” She didn’t even bother responding. ‘When have you ever not been serious?’
Just as she said it only took her a moment to put on her cold and calculating face, proving my point. It almost felt like a transformation. “Right, so I’ll go first then. The reason I didn’t say what they symbolize was because I didn’t feel like I could, it didn’t seem right… I wasn’t even sure if I should put them in at all, and a part of me was a bit afraid you wouldn’t want them if I told you.”
‘What the heck is all that supposed to mean… They aren’t something stupid like “I hope you die well.” right?’
“Your turn.” She said coldly.
‘Why did I agree to this?’
“Mom!” A yell echoed down the hall, as heavy footsteps pounded into the floor.
The door soon opened for none other than Lu to come running in, awkwardly staring at me. The only more confusing thing was how bruised and swollen she was. She looked like she had just lost a hundred fights… Which honestly might not have been a stretch.
‘Yeah… I’d probably feel like that too after the way she said goodbye.’ “You need something, Lu?”
She started rubbing her fingers together, snapping, pointing, and then looking over at Mara. “Right, Mom, can you help me work on my kicks I need a sparing partner. I’m this close to finally beating Air I can feel it.”
I raised my eyebrows. I was glad she was excited… but… Mara, kicking? I looked up at her ‘On that leg? She better not, Catherine would kill her.’ “I think Mom’s a bit busy the rest of the day. You could always work on your technique by yourself, or maybe drag Finlo into it.”
They both froze stiff, neither one responding, just blankly staring at me.
‘Was it something I said?’ I chuckled nervously. “Oh… Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have spoken for you since you’re right here.”
Mara waved her hands. “No no it’s fine, don’t worry about that.”
I looked back over to Lu. ‘Wait what?’ “Then…” ‘What’s wrong?’
Lu raised her eyebrows with an awkward smile. “You just called her Mom.”
I slowly turned back toward Mara, and then faced straight forward again, looking down to try and hide my face. “So, I did…”
A part of me felt almost like I was betraying my mom from my past life. A part of me felt like I was betraying myself… But, what must have been a much larger part of me felt happy. The rush of blood to my face was proof enough of that. Still, something was still off.
‘I mean, she was the woman that tried to kill me. She put me through grueling training every day, never taking a day off…’ My emotions started ramming into each other, instead of flowing through me, causing my brain to nearly stall out, fracturing time into splinters just to buy me time to think.
‘She was the woman that always made sure I got medicine when I was sick… And always made sure she was there when I woke up from a fever… She was even the one that gave me the antidote, even though someone else had poisoned me… She was the one who warmed me up, even when she knew she would get hurt doing it… She was the one that went toe to toe with a demon so that I wouldn’t have to fight it again… And the one that took on a dire wolf pack by herself because she was worried about me when I ran away…’
‘She carried me… Even on her broken leg… And… The whole time…’
“Siya?” She said my name as if asking what was wrong, but I had thought the time was frozen, so hearing her voice only made me stiffen up even more.
I stood up and turned to face her, looking her in the eyes. ‘This is the woman that laid in bed beside me every night when my gate was broken, for no real reason other than to make me feel warm. For better or for worse she’s always been by my side…’
Her eyes glanced back to Lu with unsure eyes. “Lu, can you give us a minute?”
“Uh… Yeah, no. I mean, sorry, I’ll go find Finlo instead.”
As her eyes turned back toward me it gave me chills, and time really did stop, I was sure of it because I could see her hair suspended mid-movement as she turned her head. ‘The whole time she pretended like nothing was wrong, told me it wasn’t my fault, and asked only how I was doing… She made it clear when I wasn’t performing, sure… But, she never once complained about having to waste so much time trying to teach someone as useless as– ’
“Siya…” Before I even realized it time was moving forward again, and my head was starting to ache, if not from the time dilation than the emotions I couldn’t explain. That was expected, it wasn’t anything unusual but, ‘Why… Does my chest hurt so much…’
I felt a tear drop land on one of my toes. ‘Am I happy, or sad? Angry maybe? I don’t…’ “Sorry, I don’t know, why this keeps happening…” I muttered wiping my eyes. ‘Am I just making excuses for her now? Like I did with my father for so long… Am I so desperate that I’m just making things up to convince myself she cares?’
I slowly took two steps forward, the sound of each one echoing as if I were taking them in slow motion pounding into the ground in perfect sink with my heartbeat. I could hear the creaking of the wood under my feet, and each teardrop as it fell from my face, splashing on the ground beneath me. I tried to breathe, but the air was getting caught in my lungs, only making the tears flow faster. ‘What’s wrong with me… what am I…’ It all flooded through me like a crashing wave, relentless, only to settle after striking the shore.
‘But what if… What if I was wrong about her, just like I was with my father…’ Time was moving so slowly, but even still my brain refused to catch up with my actions, as if it knew I wouldn’t go through with it once it had. My senses all sharpened until I could feel Her heart the same as my own. It pounded, the same as mine, a bit slower but still in perfect sync, like the beat of a song. ‘What am I reaching for? What does she have that I need? This doesn’t make any sense… None of it…’
Whatever grip I had on time shattered like a thin glass pane and before I could make sense of anything I found myself wrapping my arms around her, tugging on the fabric of her clothes. “I’m sorry mom…” I mumbled. ‘Last time she told me I didn’t have to apologize… So this time I’ll say it so quietly she can’t hear it…’
She slowly wrapped her arms around me as well, gently rocking me back and forth. “It’s alright Siya…”
I felt like my control of time ran wild, or like someone else was controlling it now, and I didn’t know how much time had actually passed by the time we let go.
“You gonna tell me what that was about?” She asked, leaning over so that we were at eye level.
I wiped my eyes as they started to hurt. “As if having my eyes turn red isn’t embarrassing enough? You want me to talk about my feelings too?”
“Oh, if that’s what you're worried about I could embarrass you in a few other ways, as like a warm-up. It’s not usually very hard.”
“Please don’t… my eyes already hurt…” I whined. ‘I can’t believe I’ve cried so much these past few days that now my eyes sting when I touch them, it’s so annoying… ’
“Then I guess you’ll just have to tell me.” She said, tilting her head with a big smile.
“What about you? You going to tell me what bringing together the seven braids symbolize?”
Her smile suddenly turned soft along with her eyes. “And… If I say it’s a secret?”
“Then I’m leaving…” I said bluntly, unamused.
“Ah boo.”
“Come on, I just cried my eyes out in front of you and you’re too embarrassed to tell me that much? Chicken…”
“Chicken?”
“It means you’re scared.”
She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips. “Do you really think I’m as gullible as your sister?”
“No, but you’re smart enough to know that I won’t talk if you don’t.”
She let out a sigh. “You know, I always thought having a kid that took after me would be great, but you're a freakin pain sometimes.” She groaned. “Fine fine I’ll tell you, AFTER you talk.
‘A kid that… No, that’s not important right now.’ “Ok, then tell me the reason you didn’t say it at least… Then I’ll spill my guts… You’re already covered in my tears and snot anyway…”
She grabbed her shirt, pulling it away from her to look at it. “This really isn't so bad you know, it’s just water. Things got a lot messier before we taught you how to use the bathroom.”
“Mom!” I whined, catching myself quickly eating my words as I said it again and my face turned bright red. I valued any and all the memories I had… But if there were a few I wish I didn’t, those probably would be the ones I would get rid of… Even my traumas at least gave me lessons, but that was just… Well, thankfully I learned quickly since it was my second time around.
Regardless of how she acted before, in that moment it almost felt like she was the same mom I had back on earth, and it was almost starting to become hard to distinguish between them… There were still subtle differences, like the way they stood, or the words they used, but what they said the same.
“Told you it was easy to embarrass you.” She said softly, her grin reaching all the way to her ears.
“Can you just be serious… I know this all probably just seems stupid but… It’s important ok…”
“Right right sorry, I’ve never been that good with the serious stuff, just give me a minute to calm down.”
“You are Mara right?” She didn’t even bother responding. ‘When have you ever not been serious?’
Just as she said it only took her a moment to put on her cold and calculating face, proving my point. It almost felt like a transformation. “Right, so I’ll go first then. The reason I didn’t say what they symbolize was because I didn’t feel like I could, it didn’t seem right… I wasn’t even sure if I should put them in at all, and a part of me was a bit afraid you wouldn’t want them if I told you.”
‘What the heck is all that supposed to mean… They aren’t something stupid like “I hope you die well.” right?’
“Your turn.” She said coldly.
‘Why did I agree to this?’
