As I fell asleep that night I felt as though I could still feel the intense warmth I could when I was resting with Elsie, wrapped in a blanket and snuggled close to her. ‘Maybe… This life isn't really all that bad after all.’ That was my last thought as I drifted off.
When I woke up though, that thought quickly faded to a distant memory. It was early in the morning before the sun had finished rising, and a sharp pain began to ring through my head.
My body shivered under a sheet of cold sweat and my stomach was twisted in knots. ‘Another fever?’ I opened my eyes to see the world spinning around before me, and even though I was still lying down, I began to feel like I was falling.
Everything was hazy and blurred, the only thing that was in clear focus was Mara standing next to my bedside. ‘No, even if I got sick from being in the cold, it wouldn't be this bad. This is something else.’
“You're awake, that's a good sign.” Her voice rang through my ears like I had a bad hangover and it took me a moment before I could even process what she was saying.
"What?" I gasped for air. It wasn't anything like the dreary fevers I would get from pushing myself too hard. I felt an intense burning in my chest and a struggle to breathe. My lungs were collapsing as my throat closed itself off. It was far too intense to be a sickness.
I rolled over to my side, reflexively crawling to my hands and knees and continuing to breathe heavily. My mind was finally able to come to a conclusion. ‘Cold sweat, heavy nausea without being able to vomit, struggling to breathe. It's poison.’
"Po-s-n." I wheezed out, barely getting out a single word.
She snarled, glaring at me and gritting her teeth.
‘No… was it you?’
She remained still, her eyes as cold as steel.
Chills ran through my body and my blood turned to ice. “POISON!” I yelled, with tears in my eyes, not wanting to believe what seemed to be unfolding right before my very eyes.
My breath began to feel shorter and shorter. ‘There's an antidote in the kitchen downstairs. The medicine cabinet’
I tried crawling to the edge of my bed. ‘If I can just make it there, then maybe I ca–’
my mind blurring to a haze as I suddenly found myself staring at the ceiling. Mara’s face loomed above me just like it had 14 years ago. Her hand pressed down on my throat, feeling just as cold as the blade that scarred it all those years ago.
I shoved her hand away and scrambled to the far corner of the bed, pushing myself against the frame, my whole body going numb. ‘So the poison didn't kill me… And she's going to choke me out? No, she said it was good I woke up, is it just a test? But then why would she be trying to choke me now?’
“If that was supposed to be you defending yourself I'm disappointed.”
As she approached me again I lifted my arms to cover my face, but the last of my strength was quickly disappearing as I struggled to get air.
I felt her icy cold grip around my ankle as she yanked me towards her. My airway had completely closed off. I couldn't breathe anymore as I lay there, sprawled like a starfish on a rock. I was helpless against her, it was just like the last time she had tried to kill me. ‘Why now, why like this? It doesn't make any sense!’
I felt her cold fingers wrap around my neck again. ‘I Guess this is it… Sorry Agis…’
As I closed my eyes I began to hear things crashing and sliding around the room. Suddenly I felt something sharp sliding down my esophagus like metal shards.
I could still make out her voice, but it was getting more and more blurred. “Drink this.” She said, her suddenly carrying an almost masochistic fire as it blurred in my mind.
I choked on it, spitting most of it out and rolling over to my side. “Swallow,” she grunted, propping my head up and pouring more into my mouth. Every sip felt like it was tearing me apart from the inside, slashing and lacerating my throat and stomach.
Tears ran down my face like bottomless streams. ‘Just let me die… Isn't the poison enough on its own!’
I tried to kick and scream, but my body was so weak I could hardly move under her weight, her grip around my neck only tightening to hold me still. With every painful swallow, her hand's pressure grew stronger until my body somehow managed to jerk away.
I was in so much agony I wanted to scream, tensing every muscle in my body, but I was so exhausted I couldn't even get out a squeak. I lay there motionless like a chalk outline. ‘Just keep breathing.’ I told myself, having to put conscious effort into it with how hard it had become. Still though. I was alive somehow.
My symptoms didn’t fully vanish, but they subsided, and I slowly regained my strength. By the time I could think straight again I had just enough of it to wipe my own tears, though they had mostly dried by then anyway. ‘She must have given me the antidote, that must have been what that fluid was.’
“You didn't die…” her voice was dull and hazy, and my eyes hurt too much for me to look at her.
I tried to ask why she had done all that, but the words got caught in my throat.
“Good job.” She continued, but I still couldn't respond.
As she stood up I grabbed onto the hem of her pants. “No– Leave–” I coughed between words. I had meant to say. ‘You're not leaving until you explain.’ But my voice was so weak that was all I could manage.
She paused, freezing stiff for a long while. Eventually, it began to feel like I was holding onto a statue. Finally, she sat down.
I wanted to ask her so many things, but before I could my eyes began to go dark. ‘No, I need to stay awake, I need to know… I…’ My desperation to stay awake wasn't enough to overcome my exhaustion and I drifted off.
When I came too, She was still right there, and I was still clinging to her pant leg.
“Feeling better?” She asked in a monotone voice.
I tried to force out a laugh, but it ended up sounding more like a coughing fit. “I thought training wasn't going to start until tomorrow?”
Her brow narrowed as she looked to the side. “Plans change…”
I propped myself up against the back of my bed frame, slowly sitting up. I still felt weak, but not nearly as bad as before “So…”
Hearing how shaky and fragile my voice was made me pause. It was like a broken whisper, terrified of being heard. Still, I found the strength to continue. “What now… A run? Or… Maybe sword practice?”
I hadn't forgotten what I had wanted to ask her, but after resting, my willingness to do so had vanished. I still wanted to know, but I was equally as terrified of finding out.
Was she testing me? Or perhaps she tried to kill me again and changed her mind at the last minute. Whatever the reason, I had a nagging feeling that knowing would somehow hurt more than being in the dark.
‘No… Having more information is always better than being without… I have to know.’
As I fell asleep that night I felt as though I could still feel the intense warmth I could when I was resting with Elsie, wrapped in a blanket and snuggled close to her. ‘Maybe… This life isn't really all that bad after all.’ That was my last thought as I drifted off.
When I woke up though, that thought quickly faded to a distant memory. It was early in the morning before the sun had finished rising, and a sharp pain began to ring through my head.
My body shivered under a sheet of cold sweat and my stomach was twisted in knots. ‘Another fever?’ I opened my eyes to see the world spinning around before me, and even though I was still lying down, I began to feel like I was falling.
Everything was hazy and blurred, the only thing that was in clear focus was Mara standing next to my bedside. ‘No, even if I got sick from being in the cold, it wouldn't be this bad. This is something else.’
“You're awake, that's a good sign.” Her voice rang through my ears like I had a bad hangover and it took me a moment before I could even process what she was saying.
"What?" I gasped for air. It wasn't anything like the dreary fevers I would get from pushing myself too hard. I felt an intense burning in my chest and a struggle to breathe. My lungs were collapsing as my throat closed itself off. It was far too intense to be a sickness.
I rolled over to my side, reflexively crawling to my hands and knees and continuing to breathe heavily. My mind was finally able to come to a conclusion. ‘Cold sweat, heavy nausea without being able to vomit, struggling to breathe. It's poison.’
"Po-s-n." I wheezed out, barely getting out a single word.
She snarled, glaring at me and gritting her teeth.
‘No… was it you?’
She remained still, her eyes as cold as steel.
Chills ran through my body and my blood turned to ice. “POISON!” I yelled, with tears in my eyes, not wanting to believe what seemed to be unfolding right before my very eyes.
My breath began to feel shorter and shorter. ‘There's an antidote in the kitchen downstairs. The medicine cabinet’
I tried crawling to the edge of my bed. ‘If I can just make it there, then maybe I ca–’
my mind blurring to a haze as I suddenly found myself staring at the ceiling. Mara’s face loomed above me just like it had 14 years ago. Her hand pressed down on my throat, feeling just as cold as the blade that scarred it all those years ago.
I shoved her hand away and scrambled to the far corner of the bed, pushing myself against the frame, my whole body going numb. ‘So the poison didn't kill me… And she's going to choke me out? No, she said it was good I woke up, is it just a test? But then why would she be trying to choke me now?’
“If that was supposed to be you defending yourself I'm disappointed.”
As she approached me again I lifted my arms to cover my face, but the last of my strength was quickly disappearing as I struggled to get air.
I felt her icy cold grip around my ankle as she yanked me towards her. My airway had completely closed off. I couldn't breathe anymore as I lay there, sprawled like a starfish on a rock. I was helpless against her, it was just like the last time she had tried to kill me. ‘Why now, why like this? It doesn't make any sense!’
I felt her cold fingers wrap around my neck again. ‘I Guess this is it… Sorry Agis…’
As I closed my eyes I began to hear things crashing and sliding around the room. Suddenly I felt something sharp sliding down my esophagus like metal shards.
I could still make out her voice, but it was getting more and more blurred. “Drink this.” She said, her suddenly carrying an almost masochistic fire as it blurred in my mind.
I choked on it, spitting most of it out and rolling over to my side. “Swallow,” she grunted, propping my head up and pouring more into my mouth. Every sip felt like it was tearing me apart from the inside, slashing and lacerating my throat and stomach.
Tears ran down my face like bottomless streams. ‘Just let me die… Isn't the poison enough on its own!’
I tried to kick and scream, but my body was so weak I could hardly move under her weight, her grip around my neck only tightening to hold me still. With every painful swallow, her hand's pressure grew stronger until my body somehow managed to jerk away.
I was in so much agony I wanted to scream, tensing every muscle in my body, but I was so exhausted I couldn't even get out a squeak. I lay there motionless like a chalk outline. ‘Just keep breathing.’ I told myself, having to put conscious effort into it with how hard it had become. Still though. I was alive somehow.
My symptoms didn’t fully vanish, but they subsided, and I slowly regained my strength. By the time I could think straight again I had just enough of it to wipe my own tears, though they had mostly dried by then anyway. ‘She must have given me the antidote, that must have been what that fluid was.’
“You didn't die…” her voice was dull and hazy, and my eyes hurt too much for me to look at her.
I tried to ask why she had done all that, but the words got caught in my throat.
“Good job.” She continued, but I still couldn't respond.
As she stood up I grabbed onto the hem of her pants. “No– Leave–” I coughed between words. I had meant to say. ‘You're not leaving until you explain.’ But my voice was so weak that was all I could manage.
She paused, freezing stiff for a long while. Eventually, it began to feel like I was holding onto a statue. Finally, she sat down.
I wanted to ask her so many things, but before I could my eyes began to go dark. ‘No, I need to stay awake, I need to know… I…’ My desperation to stay awake wasn't enough to overcome my exhaustion and I drifted off.
When I came too, She was still right there, and I was still clinging to her pant leg.
“Feeling better?” She asked in a monotone voice.
I tried to force out a laugh, but it ended up sounding more like a coughing fit. “I thought training wasn't going to start until tomorrow?”
Her brow narrowed as she looked to the side. “Plans change…”
I propped myself up against the back of my bed frame, slowly sitting up. I still felt weak, but not nearly as bad as before “So…”
Hearing how shaky and fragile my voice was made me pause. It was like a broken whisper, terrified of being heard. Still, I found the strength to continue. “What now… A run? Or… Maybe sword practice?”
I hadn't forgotten what I had wanted to ask her, but after resting, my willingness to do so had vanished. I still wanted to know, but I was equally as terrified of finding out.
Was she testing me? Or perhaps she tried to kill me again and changed her mind at the last minute. Whatever the reason, I had a nagging feeling that knowing would somehow hurt more than being in the dark.
‘No… Having more information is always better than being without… I have to know.’
