Marcus made his way on his crutches to the training grounds behind the old obstacle course. It lay abandoned now while the new batch of recruits ran across Aldrion as their warm-up. Marcus remembered those weeks when he had been running through the city on legs that felt like they could take him anywhere.
He missed it now. The things that he had never thought he would miss. Like that first time when he and Leeroy had made it over the wall. It seemed like it had been an easier, almost carefree time.
The training ground was filled with soldiers from his squad and Marcus was, as usual, a little late. Sergeant Tick noted him approaching and took a look at his watch. Then his eyebrow twitched. He pulled his arm down to his side and said nothing to Marcus.
Sergeant Tick took a step forward, and the entire squad stopped speaking. They puffed up their chests and got that far-away look that only soldiers on a line-up had. Marcus took his place next to Leeroy and Catherine, assuming the same stance.
“Today we continue weapons training,” Sergeant Tick said in a voice that carried all the way out to the courtyard. “Yesterday you learned how to fight with staffs. Today we build upon that training and start working with pikes.”
Sergeant Tick held his hands behind his back and paced the area in front of the lined-up squadron. “I know the pike might not be the weapon you always dreamed of learning. As well as it was with the staff yesterday. I could see your faces and those bored movements. But I need you to trust the process. I need you all to get excited about pikes.”
Marcus could see from the corner of his eye how Leeroy’s face contorted into a smile. His cheeks became red and a quiet snort escaped his lips. Marcus rolled his eyes at Leeroy and he took a deep breath.
Sergeant Tick hadn’t heard Leeroy snort and continued. “A good stance and thrust with your pike can save your life out there. Even your fellow soldiers’ lives. If you are up against a beast and it is charging at you, nothing is better than to thrust your pike into it. A sword won’t have the same reach and a staff will make little damage against the thick skin of the beast.”
Marcus saw how Leeroy’s face got redder as Sergeant Tick continued speaking and he hoped he wouldn’t burst during the line-up. Tick would serve them all up with some discipline if Leeroy started giggling in the middle of his speech.
“Break into your groups,” Sergeant Tick said. “Grab your pikes and assume position.”
Marcus and the rest of the soldiers hurried to get a pike from the weapons stand and then broke up into the two groups they were used to assuming when training. Marcus didn’t know if these two groups were ever used during an attack. He wasn’t yet allowed to join his squad during the night.
The pike felt good in his hands, and he had thrown his crutches to the side for this practice. They lay a small distance away on the dusty ground and Marcus felt both a sense of freedom and inability from discarding them. He was standing with Leeroy on the front line and behind them, Catherine stood with her group. Her pike jutted out between Leeroy’s and Marcus’ heads.
“First line,” Sergeant Tick yelled. “Thrust.”
Marcus and Leeroy thrust their pikes out in front of them, piercing the air.
“Second line. Move.”
Marcus and Leeroy stood still while Catherine squeezed between them and took her stance in front.
“First line. Thrust.”
Catherine thrust her pike out, and Marcus dragged in a deep breath, standing still behind her. His leg ached, and he felt his knee giving way. His hand let his pike fall toward the ground and he shifted his position with the help of the pike. The line faltered and Sergeant Tick’s eyes fell on the broken second line.
A crease spread over his forehead and Marcus quickly lifted his pike from the ground again, filling in the line. Marcus knew why he wasn’t allowed to join his squad during the nights and he felt disappointed in himself for still not being able to even hold a pike upright during practice.
The time he spent healing his leg felt like an eternity, and Marcus had to keep his focus on moving forward. But it was hard when the daily activities of his life still felt like running a marathon.
#
“I thought I was going to pee my pants when the Dick kept repeating we should thrust our pikes,” Leeroy said. “I mean, I get excited by my pike. But he doesn’t have to tell everyone about that.”
Marcus rolled his eyes at Leeroy and grabbed a piece of bread from his plate. He took a bite and chewed the hardened piece with careful consideration.
“I bet you do,” Catherine said. “You’re just that immature.”
“You’re one to tell?” Leeroy said. “I could see your smile from a mile away during the entire practice.”
Catherine smiled. “That’s just because I like learning how to fight. Nothing else.”
“Mhm,” Leeroy said, raising an eyebrow at Catherine. “How about you Marcus? Was it exciting to play with pikes today?”
Marcus took another bite and chewed it slowly before replying. “It was nice getting some fresh air and moving my body, if that’s what you mean. But no, today’s practice wasn’t all that I had hoped it would be. I feel like that after every practice nowadays. I just feel like I’m a huge disappointment. My body is failing me and I’m not healing fast enough.”
Both Leeroy’s and Catherine’s eyes turned to Marcus. They watched him in surprise for a second. Maybe he had been too honest. Maybe he should have just kept the innuendos going and said nothing. But Marcus really didn’t have anyone else to talk to than Leeroy and Catherine these days, and he needed someone to talk to.
“You need to give it time,” Leeroy said, placing his hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “You won’t get better if you keep pushing yourself to join practice every day.”
“What?” Marcus said. “Are you saying I should give up on practice?”
Leeroy’s hand slipped away from Marcus’ shoulder and his eyes found his plate. Marcus turned to Catherine, but she was also looking down at her lunch. They seemed to think Marcus should just give up.
“Your friends are too nice to tell you, but I’m not. Stop bringing down the squad, dragon whisperer. Go back to where you came from.”
Marcus’ eyes found Daniel at the edge of the table, sitting with other soldiers from their squad. Marcus watched the faces of the other soldiers at the table, but they didn’t look at him. Only Daniel met his gaze.
Marcus felt anger spreading inside his veins and an immense hatred for Daniel burned in his belly. Marcus took a deep breath and thought about hitting him, or at least telling him off. But as the seconds passed, Marcus felt like Daniel was the only one who was telling him the truth.
He looked over at his friends and left Daniel’s gaze. Leeroy was poking with a fork in his food, and Catherine chewed on her lip. They weren’t defending Marcus. They all probably thought the same things as Daniel did, they just didn’t say it.
Marcus swallowed hard and stood up from the table. He grabbed his crutches and headed out of the building. The fresh mountain air found him and Marcus felt his head getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
Should he just go back to Windbrook?
#
The night fell across the sky and the sun was resting gently over the mountaintops. Marcus made his way down to the army bunker at the center of the base. Eric held up the door for him and Marcus scraped the wall, going down the stairs to the dingy room.
“Do you think tonight will be bad?” Eric asked.
“I don’t know,” Marcus said.
Eric nodded as Marcus sat down on one of the chairs around a table in the middle of the room. There was a small group of people here, only a few wounded soldiers that had gotten out of the hospital like Marcus and the few administration workers, like Eric. Eric was in charge of the storage and it was him that the soldiers would check out new gear from.
“I think the attacks have decreased in severity,” Eric said when he took a seat next to Marcus. “It is just my hunch, but the void seems to have grown tired of trying to beat us down. Like they have calculated somehow that it isn’t worth hitting us with a greater force. I think they are waiting, biding their time until we have gotten sufficiently weak and then they will strike with all they’ve got.”
Marcus nodded. “Perhaps.”
“I hear rumors, you know,” Eric said. “It is not only the new recruits who need to check out gear once in a while. I get all sorts of higher ups and their assistants coming to me for supplies. They say the body counts are decreasing. But we are still losing numbers and Stonehearth won’t send us their soldiers. They are scared of losing Aldrion all together and want to keep their defenses. The king, of course, could send us troops, but he hasn’t so far.”
“It’s politics,” Marcus said. “Out of our hands. I don’t know if any of this is true or false and neither do you.”
Eric let out a small chuckle. “Always so serious. Yes, of course, these are just rumors. But what else to do down here to pass the time? Is tonight the night where you will finally tell me what you believe?”
Marcus shifted his position in the chair. He wouldn't tell Eric anything about his beliefs. Eric already knew he was from the dragon cult, and even though Eric was nice and seemed open-minded. Marcus doubted he would continue to be any of those things if he told him what he really believed about the war. It was best to just lie for now.
“What I believe is that it is out of my hands. I believe the rulers of Aldrion and the valley will see to it and make the best possible decision for all of us. I support the king.”
“Yes, yes,” Eric said. “We all support the king. Of course. But maybe one day you will amuse me with some speculation. I have not lost my hope for you yet, my friend.”
Friend, Marcus thought. They weren’t friends. No one felt like his friend anymore.
He knew he could always go to Mel and speak with her, but it wasn’t the same anymore. They had said they were going to be just friends from now on. He had said it even.
But his heart still ached every time he thought of her, and he didn’t want to lean on her friendship. What if he misread something again? Thought that she wanted more when she didn’t want it.
It wasn’t so much that Marcus didn’t trust Mel or that he didn’t trust that she didn’t want to be with him. He trusted that she had been telling the truth about that, even though it pained him much. But he just didn’t trust himself around her. His judgment seemed to cloud every time when she was near and he only saw the things he wanted, and that felt like a bad thing.
The bells rang outside, and the room held its breath. Seconds passed and after a couple of minutes, people relaxed into an uncomfortable silence. They weren’t waiting for every sound or for the bells to stop like the first couple of seconds always seemed to entail. Now they had accepted what was happening and just seemed to be frozen in place until the bells would stop.
Marcus pushed his chair closer to the table, like he always did. He placed his head in his hands over the wooden surface and created a private little cave. No one seemed to mind this act, and he closed his eyes. In his mind, he reached out, connecting to the dragons and prayed to them.
Watch over Leeroy, Catherine, and Melissa. Make sure they are safe tonight and protect Aldrion for me. Come back when the time is right and save us from the beasts. Dragons watch over us and give us your strength.
Marcus paused, listening intently for the dragons to speak back. Sometimes they would speak to Marcus in a deep raspy voice, but other times, the voice sounded like a child’s. Marcus wasn’t sure why, but he believed, like his mother did, that the dragons all had separate voices. They were separate beings, after all. Just working together toward the same goal, much like humans were. The goal was the same for them all, to kill the void.
The dragons didn’t speak to him this time. They didn’t always speak. Why would they? They probably had other things to do. But Marcus knew they were always listening. He could feel their presence inside of him when he connected to them and prayed.
He lifted his head from the table and brought up the letter he had started last night from his satchel. He spread out the paper and his eyes flew over to Eric. The man was reading a book, but ever so often, Marcus noticed him casting glances at his letter.
Marcus knew Eric was nosy, not only with his questions, but about watching what Marcus did as well. That was why Marcus didn’t write anything too specific in his letters home to Windbrook. He didn’t want people to suspect him of anything more than they already did.
He reread the last thing he wrote last night. Tell Minnie I congratulate her engagement. I haven’t told Melissa about it yet, but I expect she won’t be happy when she hears the news. I don’t think she has written to her parents since we got here, but that is her business, not mine.
Marcus licked his lips and thought about adding that it was her business, because they were not dating any longer. But he hesitated. He didn’t want to tell his mother about the setbacks he had had so far since arriving in Aldrion.
She didn’t know about his broken leg, the black dragon, or about Mel rejecting him. These were things Marcus knew were inevitable for her to find out, but he just couldn’t seem to put them down on the paper.
He knew his mother would probably be mad at him for not telling her about these events. But every day that she didn’t know about them was another day when Marcus could live in partial denial and compartmentalisation. Something he found he quite enjoyed.
Instead, he finished off the letter by telling her about weapons training and the progress he was making in the military, almost only fictional, of course.
Stay safe and don’t leave Windbrook for anything. Love Marcus.
That was the last line he wrote. He had included it in every letter to his mother since the first attack, but everyday it seemed to take on new meanings to him. Like this line was always directing at his worst possible fear at the moment. Right now, it was the fear that the king would send soldiers to Windbrook and imprison his family and friends for worshiping the dragons.
So far, they hadn’t come for himself or Melissa, so he hoped it was still just a minority, like Daniel, who wanted them gone. Who accused them of being in cahoots with the void.
Marcus made his way on his crutches to the training grounds behind the old obstacle course. It lay abandoned now while the new batch of recruits ran across Aldrion as their warm-up. Marcus remembered those weeks when he had been running through the city on legs that felt like they could take him anywhere.
He missed it now. The things that he had never thought he would miss. Like that first time when he and Leeroy had made it over the wall. It seemed like it had been an easier, almost carefree time.
The training ground was filled with soldiers from his squad and Marcus was, as usual, a little late. Sergeant Tick noted him approaching and took a look at his watch. Then his eyebrow twitched. He pulled his arm down to his side and said nothing to Marcus.
Sergeant Tick took a step forward, and the entire squad stopped speaking. They puffed up their chests and got that far-away look that only soldiers on a line-up had. Marcus took his place next to Leeroy and Catherine, assuming the same stance.
“Today we continue weapons training,” Sergeant Tick said in a voice that carried all the way out to the courtyard. “Yesterday you learned how to fight with staffs. Today we build upon that training and start working with pikes.”
Sergeant Tick held his hands behind his back and paced the area in front of the lined-up squadron. “I know the pike might not be the weapon you always dreamed of learning. As well as it was with the staff yesterday. I could see your faces and those bored movements. But I need you to trust the process. I need you all to get excited about pikes.”
Marcus could see from the corner of his eye how Leeroy’s face contorted into a smile. His cheeks became red and a quiet snort escaped his lips. Marcus rolled his eyes at Leeroy and he took a deep breath.
Sergeant Tick hadn’t heard Leeroy snort and continued. “A good stance and thrust with your pike can save your life out there. Even your fellow soldiers’ lives. If you are up against a beast and it is charging at you, nothing is better than to thrust your pike into it. A sword won’t have the same reach and a staff will make little damage against the thick skin of the beast.”
Marcus saw how Leeroy’s face got redder as Sergeant Tick continued speaking and he hoped he wouldn’t burst during the line-up. Tick would serve them all up with some discipline if Leeroy started giggling in the middle of his speech.
“Break into your groups,” Sergeant Tick said. “Grab your pikes and assume position.”
Marcus and the rest of the soldiers hurried to get a pike from the weapons stand and then broke up into the two groups they were used to assuming when training. Marcus didn’t know if these two groups were ever used during an attack. He wasn’t yet allowed to join his squad during the night.
The pike felt good in his hands, and he had thrown his crutches to the side for this practice. They lay a small distance away on the dusty ground and Marcus felt both a sense of freedom and inability from discarding them. He was standing with Leeroy on the front line and behind them, Catherine stood with her group. Her pike jutted out between Leeroy’s and Marcus’ heads.
“First line,” Sergeant Tick yelled. “Thrust.”
Marcus and Leeroy thrust their pikes out in front of them, piercing the air.
“Second line. Move.”
Marcus and Leeroy stood still while Catherine squeezed between them and took her stance in front.
“First line. Thrust.”
Catherine thrust her pike out, and Marcus dragged in a deep breath, standing still behind her. His leg ached, and he felt his knee giving way. His hand let his pike fall toward the ground and he shifted his position with the help of the pike. The line faltered and Sergeant Tick’s eyes fell on the broken second line.
A crease spread over his forehead and Marcus quickly lifted his pike from the ground again, filling in the line. Marcus knew why he wasn’t allowed to join his squad during the nights and he felt disappointed in himself for still not being able to even hold a pike upright during practice.
The time he spent healing his leg felt like an eternity, and Marcus had to keep his focus on moving forward. But it was hard when the daily activities of his life still felt like running a marathon.
#
“I thought I was going to pee my pants when the Dick kept repeating we should thrust our pikes,” Leeroy said. “I mean, I get excited by my pike. But he doesn’t have to tell everyone about that.”
Marcus rolled his eyes at Leeroy and grabbed a piece of bread from his plate. He took a bite and chewed the hardened piece with careful consideration.
“I bet you do,” Catherine said. “You’re just that immature.”
“You’re one to tell?” Leeroy said. “I could see your smile from a mile away during the entire practice.”
Catherine smiled. “That’s just because I like learning how to fight. Nothing else.”
“Mhm,” Leeroy said, raising an eyebrow at Catherine. “How about you Marcus? Was it exciting to play with pikes today?”
Marcus took another bite and chewed it slowly before replying. “It was nice getting some fresh air and moving my body, if that’s what you mean. But no, today’s practice wasn’t all that I had hoped it would be. I feel like that after every practice nowadays. I just feel like I’m a huge disappointment. My body is failing me and I’m not healing fast enough.”
Both Leeroy’s and Catherine’s eyes turned to Marcus. They watched him in surprise for a second. Maybe he had been too honest. Maybe he should have just kept the innuendos going and said nothing. But Marcus really didn’t have anyone else to talk to than Leeroy and Catherine these days, and he needed someone to talk to.
“You need to give it time,” Leeroy said, placing his hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “You won’t get better if you keep pushing yourself to join practice every day.”
“What?” Marcus said. “Are you saying I should give up on practice?”
Leeroy’s hand slipped away from Marcus’ shoulder and his eyes found his plate. Marcus turned to Catherine, but she was also looking down at her lunch. They seemed to think Marcus should just give up.
“Your friends are too nice to tell you, but I’m not. Stop bringing down the squad, dragon whisperer. Go back to where you came from.”
Marcus’ eyes found Daniel at the edge of the table, sitting with other soldiers from their squad. Marcus watched the faces of the other soldiers at the table, but they didn’t look at him. Only Daniel met his gaze.
Marcus felt anger spreading inside his veins and an immense hatred for Daniel burned in his belly. Marcus took a deep breath and thought about hitting him, or at least telling him off. But as the seconds passed, Marcus felt like Daniel was the only one who was telling him the truth.
He looked over at his friends and left Daniel’s gaze. Leeroy was poking with a fork in his food, and Catherine chewed on her lip. They weren’t defending Marcus. They all probably thought the same things as Daniel did, they just didn’t say it.
Marcus swallowed hard and stood up from the table. He grabbed his crutches and headed out of the building. The fresh mountain air found him and Marcus felt his head getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
Should he just go back to Windbrook?
#
The night fell across the sky and the sun was resting gently over the mountaintops. Marcus made his way down to the army bunker at the center of the base. Eric held up the door for him and Marcus scraped the wall, going down the stairs to the dingy room.
“Do you think tonight will be bad?” Eric asked.
“I don’t know,” Marcus said.
Eric nodded as Marcus sat down on one of the chairs around a table in the middle of the room. There was a small group of people here, only a few wounded soldiers that had gotten out of the hospital like Marcus and the few administration workers, like Eric. Eric was in charge of the storage and it was him that the soldiers would check out new gear from.
“I think the attacks have decreased in severity,” Eric said when he took a seat next to Marcus. “It is just my hunch, but the void seems to have grown tired of trying to beat us down. Like they have calculated somehow that it isn’t worth hitting us with a greater force. I think they are waiting, biding their time until we have gotten sufficiently weak and then they will strike with all they’ve got.”
Marcus nodded. “Perhaps.”
“I hear rumors, you know,” Eric said. “It is not only the new recruits who need to check out gear once in a while. I get all sorts of higher ups and their assistants coming to me for supplies. They say the body counts are decreasing. But we are still losing numbers and Stonehearth won’t send us their soldiers. They are scared of losing Aldrion all together and want to keep their defenses. The king, of course, could send us troops, but he hasn’t so far.”
“It’s politics,” Marcus said. “Out of our hands. I don’t know if any of this is true or false and neither do you.”
Eric let out a small chuckle. “Always so serious. Yes, of course, these are just rumors. But what else to do down here to pass the time? Is tonight the night where you will finally tell me what you believe?”
Marcus shifted his position in the chair. He wouldn't tell Eric anything about his beliefs. Eric already knew he was from the dragon cult, and even though Eric was nice and seemed open-minded. Marcus doubted he would continue to be any of those things if he told him what he really believed about the war. It was best to just lie for now.
“What I believe is that it is out of my hands. I believe the rulers of Aldrion and the valley will see to it and make the best possible decision for all of us. I support the king.”
“Yes, yes,” Eric said. “We all support the king. Of course. But maybe one day you will amuse me with some speculation. I have not lost my hope for you yet, my friend.”
Friend, Marcus thought. They weren’t friends. No one felt like his friend anymore.
He knew he could always go to Mel and speak with her, but it wasn’t the same anymore. They had said they were going to be just friends from now on. He had said it even.
But his heart still ached every time he thought of her, and he didn’t want to lean on her friendship. What if he misread something again? Thought that she wanted more when she didn’t want it.
It wasn’t so much that Marcus didn’t trust Mel or that he didn’t trust that she didn’t want to be with him. He trusted that she had been telling the truth about that, even though it pained him much. But he just didn’t trust himself around her. His judgment seemed to cloud every time when she was near and he only saw the things he wanted, and that felt like a bad thing.
The bells rang outside, and the room held its breath. Seconds passed and after a couple of minutes, people relaxed into an uncomfortable silence. They weren’t waiting for every sound or for the bells to stop like the first couple of seconds always seemed to entail. Now they had accepted what was happening and just seemed to be frozen in place until the bells would stop.
Marcus pushed his chair closer to the table, like he always did. He placed his head in his hands over the wooden surface and created a private little cave. No one seemed to mind this act, and he closed his eyes. In his mind, he reached out, connecting to the dragons and prayed to them.
Watch over Leeroy, Catherine, and Melissa. Make sure they are safe tonight and protect Aldrion for me. Come back when the time is right and save us from the beasts. Dragons watch over us and give us your strength.
Marcus paused, listening intently for the dragons to speak back. Sometimes they would speak to Marcus in a deep raspy voice, but other times, the voice sounded like a child’s. Marcus wasn’t sure why, but he believed, like his mother did, that the dragons all had separate voices. They were separate beings, after all. Just working together toward the same goal, much like humans were. The goal was the same for them all, to kill the void.
The dragons didn’t speak to him this time. They didn’t always speak. Why would they? They probably had other things to do. But Marcus knew they were always listening. He could feel their presence inside of him when he connected to them and prayed.
He lifted his head from the table and brought up the letter he had started last night from his satchel. He spread out the paper and his eyes flew over to Eric. The man was reading a book, but ever so often, Marcus noticed him casting glances at his letter.
Marcus knew Eric was nosy, not only with his questions, but about watching what Marcus did as well. That was why Marcus didn’t write anything too specific in his letters home to Windbrook. He didn’t want people to suspect him of anything more than they already did.
He reread the last thing he wrote last night. Tell Minnie I congratulate her engagement. I haven’t told Melissa about it yet, but I expect she won’t be happy when she hears the news. I don’t think she has written to her parents since we got here, but that is her business, not mine.
Marcus licked his lips and thought about adding that it was her business, because they were not dating any longer. But he hesitated. He didn’t want to tell his mother about the setbacks he had had so far since arriving in Aldrion.
She didn’t know about his broken leg, the black dragon, or about Mel rejecting him. These were things Marcus knew were inevitable for her to find out, but he just couldn’t seem to put them down on the paper.
He knew his mother would probably be mad at him for not telling her about these events. But every day that she didn’t know about them was another day when Marcus could live in partial denial and compartmentalisation. Something he found he quite enjoyed.
Instead, he finished off the letter by telling her about weapons training and the progress he was making in the military, almost only fictional, of course.
Stay safe and don’t leave Windbrook for anything. Love Marcus.
That was the last line he wrote. He had included it in every letter to his mother since the first attack, but everyday it seemed to take on new meanings to him. Like this line was always directing at his worst possible fear at the moment. Right now, it was the fear that the king would send soldiers to Windbrook and imprison his family and friends for worshiping the dragons.
So far, they hadn’t come for himself or Melissa, so he hoped it was still just a minority, like Daniel, who wanted them gone. Who accused them of being in cahoots with the void.
