It's about to get dark when we get back to the village. Gram is carrying the carcass of the Wulfar like it's no big deal, even though it's almost as big as him. And he still has that massive shield strapped to his back, too. Just how much strength does he have? Rolan and Luna disappear into their rooms upstairs of the tavern. They both gave the very obvious excuse that they were tired after the fight and wanted to hit the sack early. Oh, I'm sure they'll be hitting the sack... repeatedly and loudly.
Gram, the bard and I stay downstairs, celebrating with the villagers who heard of our exploits. That means, all thirty or so people living in the area. We're loud enough to drown out whatever sounds may come from upstairs, I hope. Well, Gram's booming laughter is making sure of that in one corner, while the bard's singing - which is pretty good, I admit - can distract from the world in another.
I'm in the middle, with a massive jug of beer in front of me. This will be my first time drinking alcohol. I'm underage and shouldn't, but screw laws. Well, I guess there's no such law in this world since I see a few youngsters in their mid-teens lifting jugs to the big man's jokes. It's alright for me to drink, right?
I take up the jug with both hands - that's how big it is - and begin to chug away. I need to drown my frustration at being sent to this world in alcohol. Hm, I might have gotten ahead of myself with this amount. If I were a human, my belly would have swollen up comically, but now, nothing is visible on the outside. I down the whole jug and suddenly a wave of cheers run through the tavern. What?
"Wow, the lady is quite the drinker, isn't she?"
"That's incredible, young lady!"
Uh, everyone was watching me. How embarrassing.
"You seem to be able to hold your liquor, Miss Marcott." Gram approaches me with a jug as big as mine. "What say you we have ourselves a little contest?"
Hey, are you seriously inviting a girl one third your weight to a drinking contest? If I weren't a Crawling Chaos, I'd explode after two of those. Those are buckets, not jugs! But you make them seem normal-sized...
"Alright." I don't know why I accepted, but I did, and it's too late to back out now. Another jug is placed in front of us each, and we drink on three, downing it all before putting it down.
"Whoo, that hits the spot." Are you a middle-aged single salaryman or what? "You're not half bad, either. Starting to feel the effect already?"
I'm actually not feeling anything from the alcohol and have to wonder what the alcohol content of this is. Or am I just secretly drinking the kiddy version? I look to the tavern keeper, but he's filling our jugs from the same barrel.
Four jugs later, accompanied by loud cheering, Gram retires. He's holding his belly, and his face is flushed red from the alcohol. I still don't feel anything though? Don't tell me I can't get drunk?
"Where is she storing all that beer?"
"This lady is a drinking goddess!"
Thank you, thank you.
"Miss Marcott, are you even human?" Gram asks, and I freeze up. He doesn't know, does he? I mean, it does look quite suspicious how I just drank what may as well have been my body's weight in liquids, and my stomach didn't even grow. "That's drinking you'd expect of an elf!"
Saaafe... Well, I might be as beautiful as an elf, but my ears aren't pointy. And an elf can defy the laws of physics by storing such a huge amount of alcohol in their bodies without it showing? That's interesting to know.
"You jest, Mister Gram. I'm just a normal human girl." Ah, that was such a bald-faced lie, I'm surprised at how I can keep a straight face. The villagers look at me unbelieving, but since there's no other indicator to my inhumanness, nobody suspects anything. Note to self: Don't do things humans can't. But I won't give up eating a lot. I'll just take the beer for food tonight.
The party slowly trickles out, and everyone has their fair share of alcohol. Over time, I actually started feeling its effects, but it took a considerable amount. The tavern keeper had to scratch his head when the barrel was emptied relatively quickly but opened another one with a shrug. Phew, I'm lucky everyone seems to be so accepting of my abnormal physiology.
Gram is lying on a bench, the bard is playing some relaxing tunes, and everyone is either heading home or falling asleep on the spot. This feels like how a party in a fantasy world should be. I wouldn't know about any in the real world; I was only seventeen when I came here.
I regret my decision of accepting the drinking contest. My head hurts, and I feel like hurling. Why is it affecting me now? Ah, maybe because it dissolves slower inside my body than it does in a human's? Where's the detox spell when you need it? Ugh...
Gram doesn't look much better this morning. The bard didn't drink much, so he's as annoying as ever. Rolan seems tired, and Luna looks refreshed. What did those two do, I wonder... not. I don't even want to know how long or how often they did it, I'm happy we didn't have to hear anything downstairs. Ugh, I feel like throwing up even more now.
"We're departing in an hour. Get ready until then." Rolan announces to his party. So, what should I do?
"Where are we going?" I just shamelessly included myself, but it was kind of already in the talks, about how they wanted to guide me to the capital. Taking me to somewhere less backwater would be a step in the right direction, and I might find my own way from there then.
"We're going back to Hovsgaerden to get our reward for this request." Rolan is the one to answer. That name sounds so fantasy!
"Where is Hovsgaerden?" Maybe you could show it to me on a map, you know? Oh, he's actually taking something out of his backpack. What's this, a piece of leather? Don't tell me you're going to draw it for me...
"Kortid!" He chants and lines appear on the leather. They form a map! Wait... don't tell me...
I want to repeatedly hit my mother over the head with a paper fan. She didn't tell me this incantation for making the map appear on the large leather piece I have in the backpack.
"This is where we are." He points at a small red spot. "And this is Hovsgaerden." He points at a black spot to the north-west, not too far from it. Ah, the upper corner of the map says "Kingdom of Lares". So that's where I am. Doesn't tell me anything in the way of geographical relation to the Demon Continent, though.
"How far is it?" I can get an idea about the distances with this.
"About three days away." Gram joins in on our conversation. He has packed his belongings and is drinking a large jug of water. "If we had horses, it'd be a distance we could do in one day."
"So we are going to walk?" I'm not too keen on walking long distances on my human feet since I know the luxury of running as a Vulfar, but I'll need to travel with them if I want to get to the capital. At least until I learn to operate maps myself. I'll have Rolan teach me along the way, and in the process give Luna more reason to be jealous. She's just too fun to play with, and I can't leave that alone.
"Horses are very limited in these parts, so they're really expensive." So you're poor. Got it. "Even this request won't get us enough money to buy a single horse." And the adventurer job doesn't pay much. Got it. "We're far from the Demon Continent, so the effect of corruption isn't that strong. We don't get that many incidents here." This place is far from the Demon Continent. I already suspected that. "In case Uther's expedition doesn't bear fruit - and we certainly don't hope for that - we plan to move to the empire so that we can eventually join the cause against the demon lord." I see, I see. But before you can do that, I'll kill you.
"When do you plan to do that?" From their response, I can gauge the confidence they have in their abilities. If it's really soon, it means they are strong. Well, they aren't really, but it means they think they're considered strong among their human peers.
"Within the next two years. The journey alone will take a while, but it's our funds that are important." I don't know how far it is, but two years is a pretty long time in my books. I'd have been finished with high school and already entered university at that time. Well, I guess moving to a different country takes time. "Alright, let's go. We'll be camping out during our journey, so I hope you don't mind, Miss Marcott."
"You can call me Chloe, Rolan." I glance at Luna and see a murderous gaze. Hee hee, I'll have so much fun along the way. If she attacks me, it'll be legitimate self-defense, too, so that'd be a bonus.
"A-ah, yeah. Miss Chloe." Oh, now she's glaring at Rolan for actually accepting that proposal. Will they start arguing here again? This is going to be entertaining.
An hour later, we set off. Rolan sets the pace, although he pays attention to whether I can keep up or not. This will be the longest distance I've ever walked in my life. Gram explained to me that it's about one hundred kilometers. At least that's my estimate, converted from the numbers he gave me. He had to explain the relation between a league and a pace, and I think I earned strange looks for not even knowing that but I played it off with being a sheltered noble daughter who was brought up to be married off one day, so there was no need for knowledge, only etiquette. Not that I have any of that, though.
The bard already explained to me that it would be an uneventful journey since the roads are well maintained, and there are no monsters around for the most part. There aren't even many bandits since the kingdom is quite peaceful. So, a dull, backwater country that's far from strife and doesn't know many hardships. Hm, my story about being attacked by bandits seems a little unbelievable when I hear that there have been very few incidents in recent years. For me to be attacked near that village seems quite strange. Luckily, nobody is thinking that... I hope.
And thus, the first day passes without a hitch. Well, I indirectly teased Luna enough for her to become so angry that she stopped talking to Rolan. I wouldn't have ever done something like that in my previous life, but for some reason, I'm really into it right now. That's what you get for making me misunderstand your relationship in the first place! Serves you right!
Uh, I've become such a bitch.
The next day, the same continues. I learn more about the people I'm traveling with, as expected. Rolan wanted to be a baker before, but seeing the suffering brought about by the corruption of the demon lord, he decided to change his dreams. Gram grew up as the son of a lumberjack, so it explains his big body. He was meant to take over the family business, but when his father and his crew were killed by a wild beast affected by corruption, the business was practically destroyed. Therefore, he decided to become someone who could protect those dear to him. Luna... doesn't talk to me. The bard... is a bard.
I feel like it's a waste of time to remember all their stories. When we part eventually, we'll either never see each other again, or be enemies at the time. Rather than their dreams and aspirations, I'd like to know their weaknesses. But they are actually weak, so I don't really need to learn them, either.
The journey remains uneventful; we pass by or through a few small villages along the way, none larger than the one we stayed a night in, and buy supplies. I'm feeling really hungry, but I suppress the feeling. Last night, I couldn't simply steal off to hunt something for myself since someone was on watch, and the meals I'm provided with may be enough for a human, but not for a growing Crawling Chaos. I still don't know the right balance for my food... but I need something soon.
Finally, on the second night, an opportunity provides itself. Gram has guard duty for the first shift, but I had some alcohol with him, and he fell asleep. I guess the area is safe enough for someone to let their guard down like this even when on night watch. We're beside a pasture used by these multicolored sheep for grazing. I steal away from the camp and quickly transform into a Vularen once out of sight. Following the scent of the sheep, I find the farm they belong to and sneak into the barn. I'm greeted by nervous bleating. Ahhh, so many little sheep, ready for the slaughter.
Itadakimasu!
I'm back before Rolan takes over the second shift, a dozen sheep inside me, slowly dissolving and satisfying my craving for sustenance. Sorry, farmer, but I left you a few. I'm sure you won't go out of business over this, right? Nothing connects to me and this group of adventurers since the farm was sufficiently far away. It took me quite a bit of time in the form of a Vularen, which runs as fast as a horse. And even if someone tracked the footprints, they could only be attributed to a giant Wulfar in these parts. Well, have fun chasing this ghostly wolf beast. You'll never find it though.
When we wake up in the morning and have breakfast, I may appear weirdly satisfied with only a single piece of bread and some dried ham. Rolan and Gram look at each other with questioning expressions. Hey, I'm not a glutton, alright? Stop judging me by your first impression of me. Well, they dismiss it with a shrug. It's easier on their funds after all.
The bard shows me our position on the map. We're very close to our destination, and he says that we made significant progress, against all expectations. Basically, he means I could keep up well, while they had expected me to require breaks all the time. I may not look like it now, but I was in the track and field club. I can run an Olympic-distance marathon in a little under two and a half hours. That's the best in Japan at my age.
Thus, we reach Hovsgaerden in the early afternoon. It's a small city with walls, although they don't look very well maintained. I guess national peace and distance to international aggressors does that to a country. There're gate guards, but they don't seem to pay much attention to the people going in and out of the city. Gram greets them in a friendly manner, and they wave back. He seems to be famous as many street vendors greet him, and some even give him things for free.
When I think about it, he's the most interesting person in this whole group. Rolan seems just like the average Gary Stu protagonist of a fantasy story. Luna is the typical mage in love with the hero. The bard is a bard. Gram doesn't look like the typical secondary character, has an outgoing personality that makes him endearing even to me - who has no reason to become friends with these people - and he has the mentality of a gentlemanly protector. The fact that he wields a shield and no weapon reinforces that image. Don't tell me, that's my type? That can't be! But neither is Rolan... What about the bard, you ask? Hahahaha... no.
"Alright, I'll go to the Guild and get our reward. You guys go stock up on supplies. Then we meet in the Dancing Dragon to discuss our next move." Rolan has the head of the Wulfar wrapped up and strapped to his backpack. It serves as evidence for the kill. It's obvious that Luna's going to join him at the guild, even though it doesn't require two people. So, who do I go with?
Going with the couple might become interesting if I can mess around with Luna, but I've done a lot of that during our journey, and getting the same responses are becoming tiresome. I'll need to break the habit with something more extreme soon. Being alone with the bard would be plain annoying, so that's out, too.
With the big and handsome mustached bald man, it is.
It's about to get dark when we get back to the village. Gram is carrying the carcass of the Wulfar like it's no big deal, even though it's almost as big as him. And he still has that massive shield strapped to his back, too. Just how much strength does he have? Rolan and Luna disappear into their rooms upstairs of the tavern. They both gave the very obvious excuse that they were tired after the fight and wanted to hit the sack early. Oh, I'm sure they'll be hitting the sack... repeatedly and loudly.
Gram, the bard and I stay downstairs, celebrating with the villagers who heard of our exploits. That means, all thirty or so people living in the area. We're loud enough to drown out whatever sounds may come from upstairs, I hope. Well, Gram's booming laughter is making sure of that in one corner, while the bard's singing - which is pretty good, I admit - can distract from the world in another.
I'm in the middle, with a massive jug of beer in front of me. This will be my first time drinking alcohol. I'm underage and shouldn't, but screw laws. Well, I guess there's no such law in this world since I see a few youngsters in their mid-teens lifting jugs to the big man's jokes. It's alright for me to drink, right?
I take up the jug with both hands - that's how big it is - and begin to chug away. I need to drown my frustration at being sent to this world in alcohol. Hm, I might have gotten ahead of myself with this amount. If I were a human, my belly would have swollen up comically, but now, nothing is visible on the outside. I down the whole jug and suddenly a wave of cheers run through the tavern. What?
"Wow, the lady is quite the drinker, isn't she?"
"That's incredible, young lady!"
Uh, everyone was watching me. How embarrassing.
"You seem to be able to hold your liquor, Miss Marcott." Gram approaches me with a jug as big as mine. "What say you we have ourselves a little contest?"
Hey, are you seriously inviting a girl one third your weight to a drinking contest? If I weren't a Crawling Chaos, I'd explode after two of those. Those are buckets, not jugs! But you make them seem normal-sized...
"Alright." I don't know why I accepted, but I did, and it's too late to back out now. Another jug is placed in front of us each, and we drink on three, downing it all before putting it down.
"Whoo, that hits the spot." Are you a middle-aged single salaryman or what? "You're not half bad, either. Starting to feel the effect already?"
I'm actually not feeling anything from the alcohol and have to wonder what the alcohol content of this is. Or am I just secretly drinking the kiddy version? I look to the tavern keeper, but he's filling our jugs from the same barrel.
Four jugs later, accompanied by loud cheering, Gram retires. He's holding his belly, and his face is flushed red from the alcohol. I still don't feel anything though? Don't tell me I can't get drunk?
"Where is she storing all that beer?"
"This lady is a drinking goddess!"
Thank you, thank you.
"Miss Marcott, are you even human?" Gram asks, and I freeze up. He doesn't know, does he? I mean, it does look quite suspicious how I just drank what may as well have been my body's weight in liquids, and my stomach didn't even grow. "That's drinking you'd expect of an elf!"
Saaafe... Well, I might be as beautiful as an elf, but my ears aren't pointy. And an elf can defy the laws of physics by storing such a huge amount of alcohol in their bodies without it showing? That's interesting to know.
"You jest, Mister Gram. I'm just a normal human girl." Ah, that was such a bald-faced lie, I'm surprised at how I can keep a straight face. The villagers look at me unbelieving, but since there's no other indicator to my inhumanness, nobody suspects anything. Note to self: Don't do things humans can't. But I won't give up eating a lot. I'll just take the beer for food tonight.
The party slowly trickles out, and everyone has their fair share of alcohol. Over time, I actually started feeling its effects, but it took a considerable amount. The tavern keeper had to scratch his head when the barrel was emptied relatively quickly but opened another one with a shrug. Phew, I'm lucky everyone seems to be so accepting of my abnormal physiology.
Gram is lying on a bench, the bard is playing some relaxing tunes, and everyone is either heading home or falling asleep on the spot. This feels like how a party in a fantasy world should be. I wouldn't know about any in the real world; I was only seventeen when I came here.
I regret my decision of accepting the drinking contest. My head hurts, and I feel like hurling. Why is it affecting me now? Ah, maybe because it dissolves slower inside my body than it does in a human's? Where's the detox spell when you need it? Ugh...
Gram doesn't look much better this morning. The bard didn't drink much, so he's as annoying as ever. Rolan seems tired, and Luna looks refreshed. What did those two do, I wonder... not. I don't even want to know how long or how often they did it, I'm happy we didn't have to hear anything downstairs. Ugh, I feel like throwing up even more now.
"We're departing in an hour. Get ready until then." Rolan announces to his party. So, what should I do?
"Where are we going?" I just shamelessly included myself, but it was kind of already in the talks, about how they wanted to guide me to the capital. Taking me to somewhere less backwater would be a step in the right direction, and I might find my own way from there then.
"We're going back to Hovsgaerden to get our reward for this request." Rolan is the one to answer. That name sounds so fantasy!
"Where is Hovsgaerden?" Maybe you could show it to me on a map, you know? Oh, he's actually taking something out of his backpack. What's this, a piece of leather? Don't tell me you're going to draw it for me...
"Kortid!" He chants and lines appear on the leather. They form a map! Wait... don't tell me...
I want to repeatedly hit my mother over the head with a paper fan. She didn't tell me this incantation for making the map appear on the large leather piece I have in the backpack.
"This is where we are." He points at a small red spot. "And this is Hovsgaerden." He points at a black spot to the north-west, not too far from it. Ah, the upper corner of the map says "Kingdom of Lares". So that's where I am. Doesn't tell me anything in the way of geographical relation to the Demon Continent, though.
"How far is it?" I can get an idea about the distances with this.
"About three days away." Gram joins in on our conversation. He has packed his belongings and is drinking a large jug of water. "If we had horses, it'd be a distance we could do in one day."
"So we are going to walk?" I'm not too keen on walking long distances on my human feet since I know the luxury of running as a Vulfar, but I'll need to travel with them if I want to get to the capital. At least until I learn to operate maps myself. I'll have Rolan teach me along the way, and in the process give Luna more reason to be jealous. She's just too fun to play with, and I can't leave that alone.
"Horses are very limited in these parts, so they're really expensive." So you're poor. Got it. "Even this request won't get us enough money to buy a single horse." And the adventurer job doesn't pay much. Got it. "We're far from the Demon Continent, so the effect of corruption isn't that strong. We don't get that many incidents here." This place is far from the Demon Continent. I already suspected that. "In case Uther's expedition doesn't bear fruit - and we certainly don't hope for that - we plan to move to the empire so that we can eventually join the cause against the demon lord." I see, I see. But before you can do that, I'll kill you.
"When do you plan to do that?" From their response, I can gauge the confidence they have in their abilities. If it's really soon, it means they are strong. Well, they aren't really, but it means they think they're considered strong among their human peers.
"Within the next two years. The journey alone will take a while, but it's our funds that are important." I don't know how far it is, but two years is a pretty long time in my books. I'd have been finished with high school and already entered university at that time. Well, I guess moving to a different country takes time. "Alright, let's go. We'll be camping out during our journey, so I hope you don't mind, Miss Marcott."
"You can call me Chloe, Rolan." I glance at Luna and see a murderous gaze. Hee hee, I'll have so much fun along the way. If she attacks me, it'll be legitimate self-defense, too, so that'd be a bonus.
"A-ah, yeah. Miss Chloe." Oh, now she's glaring at Rolan for actually accepting that proposal. Will they start arguing here again? This is going to be entertaining.
An hour later, we set off. Rolan sets the pace, although he pays attention to whether I can keep up or not. This will be the longest distance I've ever walked in my life. Gram explained to me that it's about one hundred kilometers. At least that's my estimate, converted from the numbers he gave me. He had to explain the relation between a league and a pace, and I think I earned strange looks for not even knowing that but I played it off with being a sheltered noble daughter who was brought up to be married off one day, so there was no need for knowledge, only etiquette. Not that I have any of that, though.
The bard already explained to me that it would be an uneventful journey since the roads are well maintained, and there are no monsters around for the most part. There aren't even many bandits since the kingdom is quite peaceful. So, a dull, backwater country that's far from strife and doesn't know many hardships. Hm, my story about being attacked by bandits seems a little unbelievable when I hear that there have been very few incidents in recent years. For me to be attacked near that village seems quite strange. Luckily, nobody is thinking that... I hope.
And thus, the first day passes without a hitch. Well, I indirectly teased Luna enough for her to become so angry that she stopped talking to Rolan. I wouldn't have ever done something like that in my previous life, but for some reason, I'm really into it right now. That's what you get for making me misunderstand your relationship in the first place! Serves you right!
Uh, I've become such a bitch.
The next day, the same continues. I learn more about the people I'm traveling with, as expected. Rolan wanted to be a baker before, but seeing the suffering brought about by the corruption of the demon lord, he decided to change his dreams. Gram grew up as the son of a lumberjack, so it explains his big body. He was meant to take over the family business, but when his father and his crew were killed by a wild beast affected by corruption, the business was practically destroyed. Therefore, he decided to become someone who could protect those dear to him. Luna... doesn't talk to me. The bard... is a bard.
I feel like it's a waste of time to remember all their stories. When we part eventually, we'll either never see each other again, or be enemies at the time. Rather than their dreams and aspirations, I'd like to know their weaknesses. But they are actually weak, so I don't really need to learn them, either.
The journey remains uneventful; we pass by or through a few small villages along the way, none larger than the one we stayed a night in, and buy supplies. I'm feeling really hungry, but I suppress the feeling. Last night, I couldn't simply steal off to hunt something for myself since someone was on watch, and the meals I'm provided with may be enough for a human, but not for a growing Crawling Chaos. I still don't know the right balance for my food... but I need something soon.
Finally, on the second night, an opportunity provides itself. Gram has guard duty for the first shift, but I had some alcohol with him, and he fell asleep. I guess the area is safe enough for someone to let their guard down like this even when on night watch. We're beside a pasture used by these multicolored sheep for grazing. I steal away from the camp and quickly transform into a Vularen once out of sight. Following the scent of the sheep, I find the farm they belong to and sneak into the barn. I'm greeted by nervous bleating. Ahhh, so many little sheep, ready for the slaughter.
Itadakimasu!
I'm back before Rolan takes over the second shift, a dozen sheep inside me, slowly dissolving and satisfying my craving for sustenance. Sorry, farmer, but I left you a few. I'm sure you won't go out of business over this, right? Nothing connects to me and this group of adventurers since the farm was sufficiently far away. It took me quite a bit of time in the form of a Vularen, which runs as fast as a horse. And even if someone tracked the footprints, they could only be attributed to a giant Wulfar in these parts. Well, have fun chasing this ghostly wolf beast. You'll never find it though.
When we wake up in the morning and have breakfast, I may appear weirdly satisfied with only a single piece of bread and some dried ham. Rolan and Gram look at each other with questioning expressions. Hey, I'm not a glutton, alright? Stop judging me by your first impression of me. Well, they dismiss it with a shrug. It's easier on their funds after all.
The bard shows me our position on the map. We're very close to our destination, and he says that we made significant progress, against all expectations. Basically, he means I could keep up well, while they had expected me to require breaks all the time. I may not look like it now, but I was in the track and field club. I can run an Olympic-distance marathon in a little under two and a half hours. That's the best in Japan at my age.
Thus, we reach Hovsgaerden in the early afternoon. It's a small city with walls, although they don't look very well maintained. I guess national peace and distance to international aggressors does that to a country. There're gate guards, but they don't seem to pay much attention to the people going in and out of the city. Gram greets them in a friendly manner, and they wave back. He seems to be famous as many street vendors greet him, and some even give him things for free.
When I think about it, he's the most interesting person in this whole group. Rolan seems just like the average Gary Stu protagonist of a fantasy story. Luna is the typical mage in love with the hero. The bard is a bard. Gram doesn't look like the typical secondary character, has an outgoing personality that makes him endearing even to me - who has no reason to become friends with these people - and he has the mentality of a gentlemanly protector. The fact that he wields a shield and no weapon reinforces that image. Don't tell me, that's my type? That can't be! But neither is Rolan... What about the bard, you ask? Hahahaha... no.
"Alright, I'll go to the Guild and get our reward. You guys go stock up on supplies. Then we meet in the Dancing Dragon to discuss our next move." Rolan has the head of the Wulfar wrapped up and strapped to his backpack. It serves as evidence for the kill. It's obvious that Luna's going to join him at the guild, even though it doesn't require two people. So, who do I go with?
Going with the couple might become interesting if I can mess around with Luna, but I've done a lot of that during our journey, and getting the same responses are becoming tiresome. I'll need to break the habit with something more extreme soon. Being alone with the bard would be plain annoying, so that's out, too.
With the big and handsome mustached bald man, it is.
