“What do you mean, about time?” Alyssa said as she sat upright, which proved to be something of a mistake. Muscles she had never been aware of sent objections in triplicate while apparently tap-dancing up and down her spine. She lied back down. Sorry, Amaranth said. I’m doing what I can to pull this whole thing back together, but I’m a little too hurt myself to stop the pain right now.
“Sweetie,” Lauren said. “I’m your mother. There were signs.”
“Is this because of…” Alyssa nodded to the door where her friends had just exited stage left. Lauren frowned and shook her head.
“No? Boys can be bisexual, honey,” she said. “No, it’s because you came home proudly in second grade all excited and said, and I quote, ‘mom, I learned how to sit like a boy! Now they won’t bully me anymore.’ You know,” she cocked her head. “Normal boy stuff. Or the fact that you were obsessed with that witch show when you were very little, especially the parts where they transformed. Or how you got all excited that Nana had clip-on earrings until you saw the way Dad looked at you when you did. Or that your first and best friend was a girl . Or how–”
“Okay,” Alyssa said, chuckling. Amy was right there, too, giggling along. “I get it. There were signs. I just thought I was a normal guy, you know?” It was Lauren’s turn to laugh now.
“Honey. Sweetie. Pudding pop. If I were to go out there and ask those two if they had ever thought you were a normal guy, the answer would have been a resounding ‘huh what’ followed by some severe bullying. You are sweet and kind and strong and you help around the house, but in no way would I have ever described you as macho or a guy’s guy.” I could have told you that.
Alyssa crossed her arms in mock-grumpiness, then hissed when she actually touched the bandaged skin on her arms. Sorry again! Just try to stop moving so much. “Okay, fine,” she said. “I did my best, you know.” Her mom walked over and put a hand on her head.
“I know, baby,” she said. “You know, most boys don’t have to do their best to be boys.” She laughed again when she saw Alyssa’s expression. “My point is that I always suspected there was something going on there, and I was just waiting for you to figure it out. I’m glad you did, because it means you get to be you, and it means I get to help you be.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She’s great.
“With that said,” Lauren said as she dragged a chair closer and sat down. “We’re going to talk about today.” She crossed her legs. Oh boy. Alyssa clenched her jaw. She knew this was coming, of course. “I’m not mad,” Lauren said. “Or disappointed. I’m… I’m very proud of you. Not only did you catch the bad guy, but you saved his life when he tried to hurt you.” She nodded at the television. “It’s all over the news. Of course I saw it. But that… that takes a lot. I’m proud of the– of the woman I raised.” Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at that. She was her mother’s daughter now. Gosh. She was a daughter.
“Thank you,” she squeaked.
“I’m also,” Lauren said, “very, very scared. My child fell a good… what, fifteen stories? Onto an electric car that thankfully didn’t blow up. She had to be carried to a hospital. You get how that makes me feel, right?”
“Yeah,” Alyssa said. “I know. We promised to talk about it.”
“We did. So, what are you going to do next? You almost got killed. I can’t stop you from doing it again. Pretty soon, the press is going to barge in here, and they’re going to know who you are. Well, the new you.”
Alyssa shook her head, and Amy got the message. Immediately, her whole head was covered with the mask, leaving only the lower part of her face visible. “If you go the long way around when you go outside, nobody will know who you are,” she said. “And nobody will recognize me, either.” The mask retreated.
“Hmm,” Lauren said. “And since you’re going to college, you can just sign up as Alyssa instead of– sorry, do you prefer not hearing your old name?” Alyssa shook her head. “Anyway, as, uh, him. That works. Okay, so you have a secret identity. But you’ll still keep doing it, won’t you?” Inside, Amaranth gave Alyssa the kind of side-eye they had explicitly invented emoji for.
“If you don’t want me to, Mom –” Alyssa said, but Lauren interrupted her.
“– then you’ll feel guilty about it when you use your powers to save people’s lives, and just put yourself in more danger. No, I can’t stop you. My main worry is maniacs like that Arsonal. You’re lucky you’re alive, and, again, I’m proud of you for saving his life. If he’s ever around you again I think it’s best if someone holds me down because I won’t be so kind…” She smiled the sweet smile of a mother who would beat a grown man to death with a hammer for her baby. You know, I love your mom a lot.
“No, Mom,” Alyssa said, “you don’t understand.” She explained Arsonal’s situation. Slowly but surely, her mom’s face went from that expertly-contained rage to something more tired. “He thought he was fighting–”
“– a cop,” Lauren sighed. “I–” She shook her head. “He still hurt you, baby. I can’t forgive him for that.” She held up her hands. “I get it, okay. Like, if the same thing had happened to me and it had been you in the house, I might have done worse. But it wasn’t, and he was the one that almost killed you.”
“Mom,” Alyssa said, “like, he hurt me while trying to go after the people who hurt him and his family, because he thought I was a part of it. He saved me when he realized I wasn’t. He even brought me to the hospital.”
“Wait,” Lauren said. “He did?”
“Yeah. He carried me in himself.”
“Huh. They didn’t say that on the news. Official statement from the police is that he was apprehended by several police officers at great risk to their own life.” She rubbed her face. “Okay.” Funny, that.
“No,” Alyssa said. “He carried me in, then surrendered. They broke his arm.”
“Jesus.” Lauren groaned. “This is all so…”
“Messy?”
“It’s fucked,” Lauren said, then laughed. Amy and Alyssa both snorted. “I know, I know, language. But come on, honey. I’m visiting my own child in the hospital who just fell from a mid-sized skyscraper onto a car and, oh, by the way, is trans actually, and the person who almost killed her is also the one who saved her and his actions were almost justifiable but also he almost killed you.”
“Okay, yeah,” Alyssa said. “That’s fair.”
“So,” Lauren said. “What now?”
“I don’t know. I feel like something’s wrong now, you know? I don’t think he’s going to do great in prison. If they put him in with the general prison population he’s not going to last long, and putting someone with scars like that in solitary isn’t exactly going to help him, like, get better, you know?” Alyssa said. “I just wish I could do something to make it right.”
“Maybe that’s where you should point that superheroing of yours,” Lauren said. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re not invincible, and I don’t want you to get killed. That’s part of it. But I also don’t think someone with, well, powers… I think going after blue collar crime would be kind of missing the bigger picture.”
“I’d be a cop,” Alyssa said. She couldn’t bring herself to say the word with deference. “Someone like Arsonal would be justified in wanting to hurt me.”
“Yeah, well, anyone who wants to try can try to make it past me first, see how that goes for them,” Lauren practically snarled, but then she relaxed. “But yes,” she said. “The way things are… it’s hurting a lot of people. I don’t know if someone who can do what you can do should be keeping them the same, you know?” Like me! I helped you change!
“I think that’s a good idea. But maybe we can talk about that when I get home. Also, uh. Yeah. Um. So,” Alyssa said. “There’s another thing.” Oh, are you going to tell her about me? “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. Um. So, you know how Penumbra gave me some of their powers, right?”
“Oh?” Lauren said, and nodded.
“So, that wasn’t… the only thing they gave me.”
Lauren squinted. “This can go one of several different ways, honey, and I don’t know how I feel about most of them.”
“So… The suit… It’s not just a power,” Alyssa said. “It’s a person.”
“Wh– I– O-kay, that’s not where I thought you were going with that,” Lauren said. “So you’re saying there’s someone… living inside of you?”
Alyssa nodded. “Her name is Amaranth. Amy. Would you like to meet her?” Tentatively, Lauren gave the go-ahead. Without further need for encouragement, Amy hopped into the front seat.
“Hello! I’m the one who’s been keeping your daughter alive!” Amaranth said cheerfully.
“Oh, Christ,” Lauren said. “That’s… wow. Yeah, alright. Okay. Alright.”
“Wait, you’re really okay with it?” Alyssa said, fronting again quickly.
“I mean,” her Mom said, “not, I don’t, I don’t understand, so I don’t know how I can be okay with it.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “They don’t tell you about this stuff when you become a mom.” Straightening her back, Lauren looked them in the face. “I want to be okay with it. So if you’re willing to explain it to me, and if that… thing?”
“Symbiote,” Amaranth said. “Or person, or alien, although that feels a little dehumanizing. Which I suppose is fair but I don’t like it all that much. I’m a person! Or just call me Amy.”
“Well,” Lauren said, “if Amy really is the source of your power and what kept you alive, then I think me and… her?” A quick nod from Amaranth. “Well, then I think me and her are going to get along fine. But I’d still like to, I don’t know, read up about it, or talk to you.”
“You should ask Tony,” Alyssa said. “He’s surprisingly knowledgeable about it.”
“Oh,” Lauren said. “Okay. Um, I will.” There was a knock on the door. A policeman had his hat in his hand. Alyssa was glad she had the mask on.
“Uh,” he said, “the press is here. They want to talk to the superhero.”
Redshift nodded. Mom smiled. “Tell them they can come in in two minutes,” she said, then stood up, waiting for him to leave. “Look, we’ll talk about this more when you get home. But I love you, Alyssa. Alyssa. Ally. Allie? Lyssa?” She said the name like she was trying it out. “We’ll figure that out too. Point is that I love you and I want you to be safe and happy and responsible and you’re beautiful and perfect and–”
“Mo-om!” Alyssa protested, squirming as her mom kissed her on the forehead.
“You’re going to be okay,” Lauren said. “I am beyond proud of the person you’re becoming. Um, for the film crew: don’t name any locations, don’t say any names. Try to make as few statements about who you are as a person as possible. Or, like, what your personal beliefs are, other than truth, justice, that kind of thing.” She ran a hand through her hair. “There’s a lot to think about. Anyway. Love you. Bye!” She kissed her daughter on the forehead and cheeks a bunch more times, then hurried out.
A few seconds later, no fewer than three film crews barged in. Alyssa frowned. Was that even allowed? Or was there a special rule for superheroes? They were already shouting questions, drowning each other out, until there was a loud thud. The window slid open.
“Is this a bad time?” Penumbra said, perching on the windowsill. One of the cameramen screamed.
“What do you mean, about time?” Alyssa said as she sat upright, which proved to be something of a mistake. Muscles she had never been aware of sent objections in triplicate while apparently tap-dancing up and down her spine. She lied back down. Sorry, Amaranth said. I’m doing what I can to pull this whole thing back together, but I’m a little too hurt myself to stop the pain right now.
“Sweetie,” Lauren said. “I’m your mother. There were signs.”
“Is this because of…” Alyssa nodded to the door where her friends had just exited stage left. Lauren frowned and shook her head.
“No? Boys can be bisexual, honey,” she said. “No, it’s because you came home proudly in second grade all excited and said, and I quote, ‘mom, I learned how to sit like a boy! Now they won’t bully me anymore.’ You know,” she cocked her head. “Normal boy stuff. Or the fact that you were obsessed with that witch show when you were very little, especially the parts where they transformed. Or how you got all excited that Nana had clip-on earrings until you saw the way Dad looked at you when you did. Or that your first and best friend was a girl . Or how–”
“Okay,” Alyssa said, chuckling. Amy was right there, too, giggling along. “I get it. There were signs. I just thought I was a normal guy, you know?” It was Lauren’s turn to laugh now.
“Honey. Sweetie. Pudding pop. If I were to go out there and ask those two if they had ever thought you were a normal guy, the answer would have been a resounding ‘huh what’ followed by some severe bullying. You are sweet and kind and strong and you help around the house, but in no way would I have ever described you as macho or a guy’s guy.” I could have told you that.
Alyssa crossed her arms in mock-grumpiness, then hissed when she actually touched the bandaged skin on her arms. Sorry again! Just try to stop moving so much. “Okay, fine,” she said. “I did my best, you know.” Her mom walked over and put a hand on her head.
“I know, baby,” she said. “You know, most boys don’t have to do their best to be boys.” She laughed again when she saw Alyssa’s expression. “My point is that I always suspected there was something going on there, and I was just waiting for you to figure it out. I’m glad you did, because it means you get to be you, and it means I get to help you be.”
“Thanks, Mom.” She’s great.
“With that said,” Lauren said as she dragged a chair closer and sat down. “We’re going to talk about today.” She crossed her legs. Oh boy. Alyssa clenched her jaw. She knew this was coming, of course. “I’m not mad,” Lauren said. “Or disappointed. I’m… I’m very proud of you. Not only did you catch the bad guy, but you saved his life when he tried to hurt you.” She nodded at the television. “It’s all over the news. Of course I saw it. But that… that takes a lot. I’m proud of the– of the woman I raised.” Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at that. She was her mother’s daughter now. Gosh. She was a daughter.
“Thank you,” she squeaked.
“I’m also,” Lauren said, “very, very scared. My child fell a good… what, fifteen stories? Onto an electric car that thankfully didn’t blow up. She had to be carried to a hospital. You get how that makes me feel, right?”
“Yeah,” Alyssa said. “I know. We promised to talk about it.”
“We did. So, what are you going to do next? You almost got killed. I can’t stop you from doing it again. Pretty soon, the press is going to barge in here, and they’re going to know who you are. Well, the new you.”
Alyssa shook her head, and Amy got the message. Immediately, her whole head was covered with the mask, leaving only the lower part of her face visible. “If you go the long way around when you go outside, nobody will know who you are,” she said. “And nobody will recognize me, either.” The mask retreated.
“Hmm,” Lauren said. “And since you’re going to college, you can just sign up as Alyssa instead of– sorry, do you prefer not hearing your old name?” Alyssa shook her head. “Anyway, as, uh, him. That works. Okay, so you have a secret identity. But you’ll still keep doing it, won’t you?” Inside, Amaranth gave Alyssa the kind of side-eye they had explicitly invented emoji for.
“If you don’t want me to, Mom –” Alyssa said, but Lauren interrupted her.
“– then you’ll feel guilty about it when you use your powers to save people’s lives, and just put yourself in more danger. No, I can’t stop you. My main worry is maniacs like that Arsonal. You’re lucky you’re alive, and, again, I’m proud of you for saving his life. If he’s ever around you again I think it’s best if someone holds me down because I won’t be so kind…” She smiled the sweet smile of a mother who would beat a grown man to death with a hammer for her baby. You know, I love your mom a lot.
“No, Mom,” Alyssa said, “you don’t understand.” She explained Arsonal’s situation. Slowly but surely, her mom’s face went from that expertly-contained rage to something more tired. “He thought he was fighting–”
“– a cop,” Lauren sighed. “I–” She shook her head. “He still hurt you, baby. I can’t forgive him for that.” She held up her hands. “I get it, okay. Like, if the same thing had happened to me and it had been you in the house, I might have done worse. But it wasn’t, and he was the one that almost killed you.”
“Mom,” Alyssa said, “like, he hurt me while trying to go after the people who hurt him and his family, because he thought I was a part of it. He saved me when he realized I wasn’t. He even brought me to the hospital.”
“Wait,” Lauren said. “He did?”
“Yeah. He carried me in himself.”
“Huh. They didn’t say that on the news. Official statement from the police is that he was apprehended by several police officers at great risk to their own life.” She rubbed her face. “Okay.” Funny, that.
“No,” Alyssa said. “He carried me in, then surrendered. They broke his arm.”
“Jesus.” Lauren groaned. “This is all so…”
“Messy?”
“It’s fucked,” Lauren said, then laughed. Amy and Alyssa both snorted. “I know, I know, language. But come on, honey. I’m visiting my own child in the hospital who just fell from a mid-sized skyscraper onto a car and, oh, by the way, is trans actually, and the person who almost killed her is also the one who saved her and his actions were almost justifiable but also he almost killed you.”
“Okay, yeah,” Alyssa said. “That’s fair.”
“So,” Lauren said. “What now?”
“I don’t know. I feel like something’s wrong now, you know? I don’t think he’s going to do great in prison. If they put him in with the general prison population he’s not going to last long, and putting someone with scars like that in solitary isn’t exactly going to help him, like, get better, you know?” Alyssa said. “I just wish I could do something to make it right.”
“Maybe that’s where you should point that superheroing of yours,” Lauren said. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re not invincible, and I don’t want you to get killed. That’s part of it. But I also don’t think someone with, well, powers… I think going after blue collar crime would be kind of missing the bigger picture.”
“I’d be a cop,” Alyssa said. She couldn’t bring herself to say the word with deference. “Someone like Arsonal would be justified in wanting to hurt me.”
“Yeah, well, anyone who wants to try can try to make it past me first, see how that goes for them,” Lauren practically snarled, but then she relaxed. “But yes,” she said. “The way things are… it’s hurting a lot of people. I don’t know if someone who can do what you can do should be keeping them the same, you know?” Like me! I helped you change!
“I think that’s a good idea. But maybe we can talk about that when I get home. Also, uh. Yeah. Um. So,” Alyssa said. “There’s another thing.” Oh, are you going to tell her about me? “There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. Um. So, you know how Penumbra gave me some of their powers, right?”
“Oh?” Lauren said, and nodded.
“So, that wasn’t… the only thing they gave me.”
Lauren squinted. “This can go one of several different ways, honey, and I don’t know how I feel about most of them.”
“So… The suit… It’s not just a power,” Alyssa said. “It’s a person.”
“Wh– I– O-kay, that’s not where I thought you were going with that,” Lauren said. “So you’re saying there’s someone… living inside of you?”
Alyssa nodded. “Her name is Amaranth. Amy. Would you like to meet her?” Tentatively, Lauren gave the go-ahead. Without further need for encouragement, Amy hopped into the front seat.
“Hello! I’m the one who’s been keeping your daughter alive!” Amaranth said cheerfully.
“Oh, Christ,” Lauren said. “That’s… wow. Yeah, alright. Okay. Alright.”
“Wait, you’re really okay with it?” Alyssa said, fronting again quickly.
“I mean,” her Mom said, “not, I don’t, I don’t understand, so I don’t know how I can be okay with it.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “They don’t tell you about this stuff when you become a mom.” Straightening her back, Lauren looked them in the face. “I want to be okay with it. So if you’re willing to explain it to me, and if that… thing?”
“Symbiote,” Amaranth said. “Or person, or alien, although that feels a little dehumanizing. Which I suppose is fair but I don’t like it all that much. I’m a person! Or just call me Amy.”
“Well,” Lauren said, “if Amy really is the source of your power and what kept you alive, then I think me and… her?” A quick nod from Amaranth. “Well, then I think me and her are going to get along fine. But I’d still like to, I don’t know, read up about it, or talk to you.”
“You should ask Tony,” Alyssa said. “He’s surprisingly knowledgeable about it.”
“Oh,” Lauren said. “Okay. Um, I will.” There was a knock on the door. A policeman had his hat in his hand. Alyssa was glad she had the mask on.
“Uh,” he said, “the press is here. They want to talk to the superhero.”
Redshift nodded. Mom smiled. “Tell them they can come in in two minutes,” she said, then stood up, waiting for him to leave. “Look, we’ll talk about this more when you get home. But I love you, Alyssa. Alyssa. Ally. Allie? Lyssa?” She said the name like she was trying it out. “We’ll figure that out too. Point is that I love you and I want you to be safe and happy and responsible and you’re beautiful and perfect and–”
“Mo-om!” Alyssa protested, squirming as her mom kissed her on the forehead.
“You’re going to be okay,” Lauren said. “I am beyond proud of the person you’re becoming. Um, for the film crew: don’t name any locations, don’t say any names. Try to make as few statements about who you are as a person as possible. Or, like, what your personal beliefs are, other than truth, justice, that kind of thing.” She ran a hand through her hair. “There’s a lot to think about. Anyway. Love you. Bye!” She kissed her daughter on the forehead and cheeks a bunch more times, then hurried out.
A few seconds later, no fewer than three film crews barged in. Alyssa frowned. Was that even allowed? Or was there a special rule for superheroes? They were already shouting questions, drowning each other out, until there was a loud thud. The window slid open.
“Is this a bad time?” Penumbra said, perching on the windowsill. One of the cameramen screamed.
