Chapter 219
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Chapter 219
Red is an interesting colour. First on the rainbow, it suffers from something of an identity crisis, symbolizing passion, infatuation, love, and celebration, while also representing aggression, anger, pain, and frustration. Some would say its a strong, masculine colour denoting power and authority, while others might claim red is exceedingly feminine, alluding to seduction and arousal. Neither side is wrong exactly, which is strangest of all. Safe to say, no other colour holds the same significance for humans, and theres a simple reason why.
Red is the colour of blood.
This singular fact pervades my mind as I wash Chams blood from my hands, periodically glancing around the plaza. A scenic view of hell on earth, with corpses laid out as far as the eye can see, waiting to be sorted and arranged with little ceremony or solemnity. The entire area is dyed in various shades of crimson as the blood of thousands pools and dries on the tiled stone floors. It doesnt seem right, men and women who gave their lives defending Sanshu, only to be dragged by their wrists or ankles and thrown into a pile of their comrades. The Defiled arent even given that much respect, their bodies stripped naked and thrown into the canal, the flowing waters frothing pink as hordes of toothy fish devour flesh and bone.
So much for going back in for another swim.
Closing my eyes to the abhorrent scene before me, I reach for Balance to top off my reserves and heal my injuries. Stepping into my mental plane to check on Baledagh, my new liquid celestial friend greets me cordially, basking in my Chi and sweeping me off my feet to show me the new changes. No longer a void of dark nothingness, the Heavenly Waters have transformed my mental plane into a luminous, clear blue ocean. Strange how floating in darkness can be so disconcerting but doing the same in faux water is pleasant and comfortable. I mean, either way, were still inside my mind, so the warm currents and bubbling sensations are all imagined, but when I close my eyes, the darkness is no longer uncomfortable and suffocating, but rather more soothing and relaxing, my body and mind both weightless and free, drifting in a sea of calm.
I like this. Without the stench of death turning my stomach and the carnage occupying my thoughts, Im free to grieve for my lost Sentinels, beset on both sides by my old friends crippling doubt and crushing despair. Cham was a drunk and a ruffian, but he was a cheery sort, always with a smile on his face. He had a soft spot for orphans, spending many a free hour making kites, leather balls and other toys, but he always donated them anonymously, though that doesnt work in a ninja village. Everything I know about him can be summed up in two sentences. This was a man who followed me into battle, who lost his life because of my orders, and I cant even properly memorialize him. Theres been too many deaths in the past few days, Chams only the latest in a long litany of casualties.
The survivors guilt is real. I escaped unscathed from so many close brushes with death, yet Cham dies to an ambush from a Defiled hiding in a pile of corpses. Its not fair, and I feel even worse because I could have saved him if I knew how to control the Heavenly Waters. They have healing properties, Im sure of it. I mean, its water, thats what it does, magically, right? Besides, how else do I explain surviving ten days submerged in the lake?
My celestial guest doesnt bother weighing in on my thoughts, showing no signs of having heard or understood me. Its presence is alien, yet comforting, almost consoling me as I wallow in guilt and recrimination. Its difficult to get a full-on self-pity party started under these conditions, the ambience washing over my mind and helping me unwind. The thoughts are still there, but the pain is muted and distant, not enough to power through, but enough to continue functioning at an acceptable level of self-loathing. All I can do is apologize to Cham, say a prayer for him, and keep him in my thoughts. What more is there? This is war. People die.
Ill never understand why people glorify war. I mean, yea, I get a little caught up in the adrenaline rush sometimes, but the aftermath is unspeakably abhorrent. All these people dead and for what? Nothing as far as I can tell. I dont get what Yo Ling stands to gain from this. Hes been around for decades, raiding and pillaging as he pleases, so perhaps this is the next logical step, trying to become the real boss of the region, a king of sorts. Problem is, Yo Ling cant be stupid, he has to know he doesnt have enough manpower to take Sanshu, much less hold it. The Empire will send an army eventually, so whats his long game? If death and slaughter is all he cares about, then theres no point trying to understand him, but if so, why is he here? If all he want to do is murder-hobo it up, why march his army into the city and risk getting trapped in? Why not run around the province and kill helpless civilians? A desire for challenge or glory? I guess I could chalk it all up to Defiled shenanigans and insanity, but somehow, I feel like were all ignoring some basic questions, Joranis mysterious benefactor aside.
For example, where the fuck did Yo Ling find so many sets of matching armour? I get being able to hide his bandits on his island, and I can accept the weapons being the product of Defiled witchery like Gens hands, but how did he hide dozens of blacksmiths working day and night for years? Were talking about 15,000 hand-crafted suits of armour, its not like there are factories stamping out armour by the dozens for purchase on the open market, and Im sure someone would have noticed smoke billowing out from multiple smithies. The armour is standard iron, meaning its fairly useless against someone wielding a Spiritual Weapon, but the majority of soldiers dont have one, one in ten at best. According to XinYue, the ratio only gets worse when you look at the bandits and city guards, and full-plate does wonders against standard swords and spears. Hell, if it werent for the Crossbone Corsairs, the Defiled would have already overwhelmed the defenders, largely due to their armour. Still, it begs the question, why is Yo Ling throwing lives away while knowing his army is as large as itll ever get, but ours will keep growing as time passes?
Another thing thats been bothering me is where is all the oil Yo Lings people collected? The first thing I did was have Tenjin tell Gerel about it through Sending, but apparently, there hasnt been so much as a whiff of oil. Gens been lighting the city up but the large fires are mostly fuelled by wood and cloth, with a good half of the buildings still standing. I doubt they sent bands of Defiled out scrounging for oil just to not use it, but so far, thats been the case. An isolated incident perhaps? I hope so. A few pots could kill thousands of defenders without reprisal if used correctly, cutting off avenues of retreat and whatnot.
Then theres Mao Jianghong, the former fucking Guard Captain of Sanshu turned traitor. Are we to believe a man in his position flipped sides on a whim? Who knows how long this has been in the works, how much preparation has gone into his betrayal, yet apparently no one has bothered looking into what hes done. Hopefully they have and just arent telling me, but its still concerning. Somehow, Mao Mao has kept Tongzu from recalling the soldiers outside Sanshu, which means either he has allies among them, or theres an army of Wraiths outside hunting down messengers. Considering the whole panic regarding Defiled infections, Id guess its the former, so why havent any other traitors made themselves known? Maybe because theyre more useful hidden, keeping reinforcements from mobilizing and other clandestine stuffs, but I cant help but worry were all missing the bigger picture.
With all those worries, my mental plane no longer seems so relaxing, though the Heavenly Water seems content to laze about, both still and shifting at the same time. I choose to believe its hanging out in my soul and only materializes in the real world when needed. Much less unpleasant compared to the alternative, worrying over how my personal, internal space is constantly being violated by an aqueous invader. Who knows what it might do while hanging around my organs and blood stream, siphoning off my Chi and nutrients. Maybe its in an embryonic stage, growing in size and strength only to eventually burst from my chest and skitter away, in search of new hosts to infect.
No, thats dumb. Its water and its helping me, plus it saved Li Songs face. Maybe I should name it, but I dunno. Im fine with anthropomorphizing cute animals, but water is kinda pushing it. I mean, I cant assume its gender, so do I give it a male or female name? Besides, it wont answer even if I gave it a name, doing whatever it pleases. I need to know more, so hopefully someone can shed light on the situation.
Finding no change in Baledagh, I leave my mental plane and see Bulat standing guard over me, while also taking charge of the clean up. Thanks, I say, clapping him on the shoulder. Youre doing a great job, a born leader.
Grunting, he shrugs in reply. Got in the habit of taking charge while running with the Militia. Bunch of lazy slackers all around, had to keep me eye on em. Cant slip nothing past Old Bulat, I've run every scheme and ploy there is. Had Mister Rustram tearing his hair out by the roots back in our army days.
Well, until Mister Rustram gets back, youve got his job, Mister Bulat.
... No. Its either fire, or it isnt, right? You can use it to light something on fire, so for all intents and purposes, its fire.
Another sigh. Watch. Staring at the flame on his palm, Tenjin falls silent while I wait, still puzzling over his words. So, is the Heavenly Water not really water? Or is it water, but not wholly infused with my Chi? Or is it just eating my Chi, which is why I cant control it?
This is confusing.
Tenjins flame leaps into the air and steals away my attention. Hanging in the air, it bounces and weaves about in hypnotic patterns, leaving trails of flame behind that fade away in seconds. Flaring and subsiding in a pulsing rhythm, I realize its doing so in tandem with Tenjins heartbeat. The performance continues with the flames twirling and weaving about, forming tiny shapes before my eyes, a sword, a boat, then a wolf, the level of detail increasing with each transformation. The wolf lifts its head to the sky in a soundless howl, and I can almost hear its triumphant call, the movements so lifelike and real.
Then, without warning, the flames blink out of existence. Smiling triumphantly, Tenjin asks, Can fire do that?
...Well no, but I still dont get it. How do I make my Chi do that?
Frowning, he tilts his head and asks, How do you make your Chi do anything?
Stopping to think about it, I realize I dont have a single answer. Well, for Honing and Healing, I visualize what needs to happen. Other times, it's a visceral reaction, like Amplification, letting the energy build up where I need it. For Guiding... I dont even know how that really works, I throw my sword and it hits things, unlike when I use a bow.
Upon hearing my answer, Tenjin puffs up with pride. Now do you understand why no one can explain Chi usage to you? We can counsel you and direct your efforts, but the how must come from you. For most, an Awakening allows them to use their Blessing like you use Guiding, but you are obviously an exception. Try all the different methods you listed, and then try them again if they fail. Try other methods, whatever you can come up with, the knowledge lies buried deep inside you.
Nodding as I let go of his hand, I absently go over Tenjins words while he returns to his wife. Not entirely helpful. Persevere and eventually Ill get it right. It doesnt help in the short-term, but lets continue with my earlier optimism and assume Ill survive this. Ive got time, no need to rush. Even if I did, theres no guarantee my blessing will be useful in combat, so I might as well stop fretting.
Turning my gaze to the south-west district, I search for signs of movement, still worried about Yo Ling. Hopefully Im wrong and hes nothing more than a glory hungry Defiled bandit who overstepped, but I doubt it. Swallowing my apprehension, I turn to leave when a flash of movement catches my eye. Approaching from the north, I spot several waving flags and after a moments concentration, hear the distant sounds of drumming. The flags dip in and out of view, and after a few seconds, I finally pick out the words: Golden Highlands.
Dastans people, if I recall correctly. Now that I think about it, for a city supposedly run by the Council, theres been an alarming lack of aid from them. Maybe theyre finally ready to pick up the slack and help out. After a quick consult with Tenjin who Sends a query to XinYue, Im ecstatic to learn that 15,000 mercenaries are here to help, with 5,000 on their way here to shore up our defences. Humming a cheery tune, I head out to meet with XinYue, almost skipping with delight.
This is the power of positive thinking. A little optimism, and bam, 5,000 mooks appear to stand between me and the Defiled.
Perfect.
...
Almost too perfect...
Chapter Meme
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Chapter 219
Red is an interesting colour. First on the rainbow, it suffers from something of an identity crisis, symbolizing passion, infatuation, love, and celebration, while also representing aggression, anger, pain, and frustration. Some would say its a strong, masculine colour denoting power and authority, while others might claim red is exceedingly feminine, alluding to seduction and arousal. Neither side is wrong exactly, which is strangest of all. Safe to say, no other colour holds the same significance for humans, and theres a simple reason why.
Red is the colour of blood.
This singular fact pervades my mind as I wash Chams blood from my hands, periodically glancing around the plaza. A scenic view of hell on earth, with corpses laid out as far as the eye can see, waiting to be sorted and arranged with little ceremony or solemnity. The entire area is dyed in various shades of crimson as the blood of thousands pools and dries on the tiled stone floors. It doesnt seem right, men and women who gave their lives defending Sanshu, only to be dragged by their wrists or ankles and thrown into a pile of their comrades. The Defiled arent even given that much respect, their bodies stripped naked and thrown into the canal, the flowing waters frothing pink as hordes of toothy fish devour flesh and bone.
So much for going back in for another swim.
Closing my eyes to the abhorrent scene before me, I reach for Balance to top off my reserves and heal my injuries. Stepping into my mental plane to check on Baledagh, my new liquid celestial friend greets me cordially, basking in my Chi and sweeping me off my feet to show me the new changes. No longer a void of dark nothingness, the Heavenly Waters have transformed my mental plane into a luminous, clear blue ocean. Strange how floating in darkness can be so disconcerting but doing the same in faux water is pleasant and comfortable. I mean, either way, were still inside my mind, so the warm currents and bubbling sensations are all imagined, but when I close my eyes, the darkness is no longer uncomfortable and suffocating, but rather more soothing and relaxing, my body and mind both weightless and free, drifting in a sea of calm.
I like this. Without the stench of death turning my stomach and the carnage occupying my thoughts, Im free to grieve for my lost Sentinels, beset on both sides by my old friends crippling doubt and crushing despair. Cham was a drunk and a ruffian, but he was a cheery sort, always with a smile on his face. He had a soft spot for orphans, spending many a free hour making kites, leather balls and other toys, but he always donated them anonymously, though that doesnt work in a ninja village. Everything I know about him can be summed up in two sentences. This was a man who followed me into battle, who lost his life because of my orders, and I cant even properly memorialize him. Theres been too many deaths in the past few days, Chams only the latest in a long litany of casualties.
The survivors guilt is real. I escaped unscathed from so many close brushes with death, yet Cham dies to an ambush from a Defiled hiding in a pile of corpses. Its not fair, and I feel even worse because I could have saved him if I knew how to control the Heavenly Waters. They have healing properties, Im sure of it. I mean, its water, thats what it does, magically, right? Besides, how else do I explain surviving ten days submerged in the lake?
My celestial guest doesnt bother weighing in on my thoughts, showing no signs of having heard or understood me. Its presence is alien, yet comforting, almost consoling me as I wallow in guilt and recrimination. Its difficult to get a full-on self-pity party started under these conditions, the ambience washing over my mind and helping me unwind. The thoughts are still there, but the pain is muted and distant, not enough to power through, but enough to continue functioning at an acceptable level of self-loathing. All I can do is apologize to Cham, say a prayer for him, and keep him in my thoughts. What more is there? This is war. People die.
Ill never understand why people glorify war. I mean, yea, I get a little caught up in the adrenaline rush sometimes, but the aftermath is unspeakably abhorrent. All these people dead and for what? Nothing as far as I can tell. I dont get what Yo Ling stands to gain from this. Hes been around for decades, raiding and pillaging as he pleases, so perhaps this is the next logical step, trying to become the real boss of the region, a king of sorts. Problem is, Yo Ling cant be stupid, he has to know he doesnt have enough manpower to take Sanshu, much less hold it. The Empire will send an army eventually, so whats his long game? If death and slaughter is all he cares about, then theres no point trying to understand him, but if so, why is he here? If all he want to do is murder-hobo it up, why march his army into the city and risk getting trapped in? Why not run around the province and kill helpless civilians? A desire for challenge or glory? I guess I could chalk it all up to Defiled shenanigans and insanity, but somehow, I feel like were all ignoring some basic questions, Joranis mysterious benefactor aside.
For example, where the fuck did Yo Ling find so many sets of matching armour? I get being able to hide his bandits on his island, and I can accept the weapons being the product of Defiled witchery like Gens hands, but how did he hide dozens of blacksmiths working day and night for years? Were talking about 15,000 hand-crafted suits of armour, its not like there are factories stamping out armour by the dozens for purchase on the open market, and Im sure someone would have noticed smoke billowing out from multiple smithies. The armour is standard iron, meaning its fairly useless against someone wielding a Spiritual Weapon, but the majority of soldiers dont have one, one in ten at best. According to XinYue, the ratio only gets worse when you look at the bandits and city guards, and full-plate does wonders against standard swords and spears. Hell, if it werent for the Crossbone Corsairs, the Defiled would have already overwhelmed the defenders, largely due to their armour. Still, it begs the question, why is Yo Ling throwing lives away while knowing his army is as large as itll ever get, but ours will keep growing as time passes?
Another thing thats been bothering me is where is all the oil Yo Lings people collected? The first thing I did was have Tenjin tell Gerel about it through Sending, but apparently, there hasnt been so much as a whiff of oil. Gens been lighting the city up but the large fires are mostly fuelled by wood and cloth, with a good half of the buildings still standing. I doubt they sent bands of Defiled out scrounging for oil just to not use it, but so far, thats been the case. An isolated incident perhaps? I hope so. A few pots could kill thousands of defenders without reprisal if used correctly, cutting off avenues of retreat and whatnot.
Then theres Mao Jianghong, the former fucking Guard Captain of Sanshu turned traitor. Are we to believe a man in his position flipped sides on a whim? Who knows how long this has been in the works, how much preparation has gone into his betrayal, yet apparently no one has bothered looking into what hes done. Hopefully they have and just arent telling me, but its still concerning. Somehow, Mao Mao has kept Tongzu from recalling the soldiers outside Sanshu, which means either he has allies among them, or theres an army of Wraiths outside hunting down messengers. Considering the whole panic regarding Defiled infections, Id guess its the former, so why havent any other traitors made themselves known? Maybe because theyre more useful hidden, keeping reinforcements from mobilizing and other clandestine stuffs, but I cant help but worry were all missing the bigger picture.
With all those worries, my mental plane no longer seems so relaxing, though the Heavenly Water seems content to laze about, both still and shifting at the same time. I choose to believe its hanging out in my soul and only materializes in the real world when needed. Much less unpleasant compared to the alternative, worrying over how my personal, internal space is constantly being violated by an aqueous invader. Who knows what it might do while hanging around my organs and blood stream, siphoning off my Chi and nutrients. Maybe its in an embryonic stage, growing in size and strength only to eventually burst from my chest and skitter away, in search of new hosts to infect.
No, thats dumb. Its water and its helping me, plus it saved Li Songs face. Maybe I should name it, but I dunno. Im fine with anthropomorphizing cute animals, but water is kinda pushing it. I mean, I cant assume its gender, so do I give it a male or female name? Besides, it wont answer even if I gave it a name, doing whatever it pleases. I need to know more, so hopefully someone can shed light on the situation.
Finding no change in Baledagh, I leave my mental plane and see Bulat standing guard over me, while also taking charge of the clean up. Thanks, I say, clapping him on the shoulder. Youre doing a great job, a born leader.
Grunting, he shrugs in reply. Got in the habit of taking charge while running with the Militia. Bunch of lazy slackers all around, had to keep me eye on em. Cant slip nothing past Old Bulat, I've run every scheme and ploy there is. Had Mister Rustram tearing his hair out by the roots back in our army days.
Well, until Mister Rustram gets back, youve got his job, Mister Bulat.
... No. Its either fire, or it isnt, right? You can use it to light something on fire, so for all intents and purposes, its fire.
Another sigh. Watch. Staring at the flame on his palm, Tenjin falls silent while I wait, still puzzling over his words. So, is the Heavenly Water not really water? Or is it water, but not wholly infused with my Chi? Or is it just eating my Chi, which is why I cant control it?
This is confusing.
Tenjins flame leaps into the air and steals away my attention. Hanging in the air, it bounces and weaves about in hypnotic patterns, leaving trails of flame behind that fade away in seconds. Flaring and subsiding in a pulsing rhythm, I realize its doing so in tandem with Tenjins heartbeat. The performance continues with the flames twirling and weaving about, forming tiny shapes before my eyes, a sword, a boat, then a wolf, the level of detail increasing with each transformation. The wolf lifts its head to the sky in a soundless howl, and I can almost hear its triumphant call, the movements so lifelike and real.
Then, without warning, the flames blink out of existence. Smiling triumphantly, Tenjin asks, Can fire do that?
...Well no, but I still dont get it. How do I make my Chi do that?
Frowning, he tilts his head and asks, How do you make your Chi do anything?
Stopping to think about it, I realize I dont have a single answer. Well, for Honing and Healing, I visualize what needs to happen. Other times, it's a visceral reaction, like Amplification, letting the energy build up where I need it. For Guiding... I dont even know how that really works, I throw my sword and it hits things, unlike when I use a bow.
Upon hearing my answer, Tenjin puffs up with pride. Now do you understand why no one can explain Chi usage to you? We can counsel you and direct your efforts, but the how must come from you. For most, an Awakening allows them to use their Blessing like you use Guiding, but you are obviously an exception. Try all the different methods you listed, and then try them again if they fail. Try other methods, whatever you can come up with, the knowledge lies buried deep inside you.
Nodding as I let go of his hand, I absently go over Tenjins words while he returns to his wife. Not entirely helpful. Persevere and eventually Ill get it right. It doesnt help in the short-term, but lets continue with my earlier optimism and assume Ill survive this. Ive got time, no need to rush. Even if I did, theres no guarantee my blessing will be useful in combat, so I might as well stop fretting.
Turning my gaze to the south-west district, I search for signs of movement, still worried about Yo Ling. Hopefully Im wrong and hes nothing more than a glory hungry Defiled bandit who overstepped, but I doubt it. Swallowing my apprehension, I turn to leave when a flash of movement catches my eye. Approaching from the north, I spot several waving flags and after a moments concentration, hear the distant sounds of drumming. The flags dip in and out of view, and after a few seconds, I finally pick out the words: Golden Highlands.
Dastans people, if I recall correctly. Now that I think about it, for a city supposedly run by the Council, theres been an alarming lack of aid from them. Maybe theyre finally ready to pick up the slack and help out. After a quick consult with Tenjin who Sends a query to XinYue, Im ecstatic to learn that 15,000 mercenaries are here to help, with 5,000 on their way here to shore up our defences. Humming a cheery tune, I head out to meet with XinYue, almost skipping with delight.
This is the power of positive thinking. A little optimism, and bam, 5,000 mooks appear to stand between me and the Defiled.
Perfect.
...
Almost too perfect...
Chapter Meme
Chapter 219Red is an interesting colour. First on the rainbow, it suffers from something of an identity crisis, symbolizing passion, infatuation, love, and celebration, while also representing aggression, anger, pain, and frustration. Some would say its a strong, masculine colour denoting power and authority, while others might claim red is exceedingly feminine, alluding to seduction and arousal. Neither side is wrong exactly, which is strangest of all. Safe to say, no other colour holds the same significance for humans, and theres a simple reason why.Red is the colour of blood.This singular fact pervades my mind as I wash Chams blood from my hands, periodically glancing around the plaza. A scenic view of hell on earth, with corpses laid out as far as the eye can see, waiting to be sorted and arranged with little ceremony or solemnity. The entire area is dyed in various shades of crimson as the blood of thousands pools and dries on the tiled stone floors. It doesnt seem right, men and women who gave their lives defending Sanshu, only to be dragged by their wrists or ankles and thrown into a pile of their comrades. The Defiled arent even given that much respect, their bodies stripped naked and thrown into the canal, the flowing waters frothing pink as hordes of toothy fish devour flesh and bone.So much for going back in for another swim.Closing my eyes to the abhorrent scene before me, I reach for Balance to top off my reserves and heal my injuries. Stepping into my mental plane to check on Baledagh, my new liquid celestial friend greets me cordially, basking in my Chi and sweeping me off my feet to show me the new changes. No longer a void of dark nothingness, the Heavenly Waters have transformed my mental plane into a luminous, clear blue ocean. Strange how floating in darkness can be so disconcerting but doing the same in faux water is pleasant and comfortable. I mean, either way, were still inside my mind, so the warm currents and bubbling sensations are all imagined, but when I close my eyes, the darkness is no longer uncomfortable and suffocating, but rather more soothing and relaxing, my body and mind both weightless and free, drifting in a sea of calm.I like this. Without the stench of death turning my stomach and the carnage occupying my thoughts, Im free to grieve for my lost Sentinels, beset on both sides by my old friends crippling doubt and crushing despair. Cham was a drunk and a ruffian, but he was a cheery sort, always with a smile on his face. He had a soft spot for orphans, spending many a free hour making kites, leather balls and other toys, but he always donated them anonymously, though that doesnt work in a ninja village. Everything I know about him can be summed up in two sentences. This was a man who followed me into battle, who lost his life because of my orders, and I cant even properly memorialize him. Theres been too many deaths in the past few days, Chams only the latest in a long litany of casualties.The survivors guilt is real. I escaped unscathed from so many close brushes with death, yet Cham dies to an ambush from a Defiled hiding in a pile of corpses. Its not fair, and I feel even worse because I could have saved him if I knew how to control the Heavenly Waters. They have healing properties, Im sure of it. I mean, its water, thats what it does, magically, right? Besides, how else do I explain surviving ten days submerged in the lake?My celestial guest doesnt bother weighing in on my thoughts, showing no signs of having heard or understood me. Its presence is alien, yet comforting, almost consoling me as I wallow in guilt and recrimination. Its difficult to get a full-on self-pity party started under these conditions, the ambience washing over my mind and helping me unwind. The thoughts are still there, but the pain is muted and distant, not enough to power through, but enough to continue functioning at an acceptable level of self-loathing. All I can do is apologize to Cham, say a prayer for him, and keep him in my thoughts. What more is there? This is war. People die.Ill never understand why people glorify war. I mean, yea, I get a little caught up in the adrenaline rush sometimes, but the aftermath is unspeakably abhorrent. All these people dead and for what? Nothing as far as I can tell. I dont get what Yo Ling stands to gain from this. Hes been around for decades, raiding and pillaging as he pleases, so perhaps this is the next logical step, trying to become the real boss of the region, a king of sorts. Problem is, Yo Ling cant be stupid, he has to know he doesnt have enough manpower to take Sanshu, much less hold it. The Empire will send an army eventually, so whats his long game? If death and slaughter is all he cares about, then theres no point trying to understand him, but if so, why is he here? If all he want to do is murder-hobo it up, why march his army into the city and risk getting trapped in? Why not run around the province and kill helpless civilians? A desire for challenge or glory? I guess I could chalk it all up to Defiled shenanigans and insanity, but somehow, I feel like were all ignoring some basic questions, Joranis mysterious benefactor aside.For example, where the fuck did Yo Ling find so many sets of matching armour? I get being able to hide his bandits on his island, and I can accept the weapons being the product of Defiled witchery like Gens hands, but how did he hide dozens of blacksmiths working day and night for years? Were talking about 15,000 hand-crafted suits of armour, its not like there are factories stamping out armour by the dozens for purchase on the open market, and Im sure someone would have noticed smoke billowing out from multiple smithies. The armour is standard iron, meaning its fairly useless against someone wielding a Spiritual Weapon, but the majority of soldiers dont have one, one in ten at best. According to XinYue, the ratio only gets worse when you look at the bandits and city guards, and full-plate does wonders against standard swords and spears. Hell, if it werent for the Crossbone Corsairs, the Defiled would have already overwhelmed the defenders, largely due to their armour. Still, it begs the question, why is Yo Ling throwing lives away while knowing his army is as large as itll ever get, but ours will keep growing as time passes?Another thing thats been bothering me is where is all the oil Yo Lings people collected? The first thing I did was have Tenjin tell Gerel about it through Sending, but apparently, there hasnt been so much as a whiff of oil. Gens been lighting the city up but the large fires are mostly fuelled by wood and cloth, with a good half of the buildings still standing. I doubt they sent bands of Defiled out scrounging for oil just to not use it, but so far, thats been the case. An isolated incident perhaps? I hope so. A few pots could kill thousands of defenders without reprisal if used correctly, cutting off avenues of retreat and whatnot.Then theres Mao Jianghong, the former fucking Guard Captain of Sanshu turned traitor. Are we to believe a man in his position flipped sides on a whim? Who knows how long this has been in the works, how much preparation has gone into his betrayal, yet apparently no one has bothered looking into what hes done. Hopefully they have and just arent telling me, but its still concerning. Somehow, Mao Mao has kept Tongzu from recalling the soldiers outside Sanshu, which means either he has allies among them, or theres an army of Wraiths outside hunting down messengers. Considering the whole panic regarding Defiled infections, Id guess its the former, so why havent any other traitors made themselves known? Maybe because theyre more useful hidden, keeping reinforcements from mobilizing and other clandestine stuffs, but I cant help but worry were all missing the bigger picture.With all those worries, my mental plane no longer seems so relaxing, though the Heavenly Water seems content to laze about, both still and shifting at the same time. I choose to believe its hanging out in my soul and only materializes in the real world when needed. Much less unpleasant compared to the alternative, worrying over how my personal, internal space is constantly being violated by an aqueous invader. Who knows what it might do while hanging around my organs and blood stream, siphoning off my Chi and nutrients. Maybe its in an embryonic stage, growing in size and strength only to eventually burst from my chest and skitter away, in search of new hosts to infect.No, thats dumb. Its water and its helping me, plus it saved Li Songs face. Maybe I should name it, but I dunno. Im fine with anthropomorphizing cute animals, but water is kinda pushing it. I mean, I cant assume its gender, so do I give it a male or female name? Besides, it wont answer even if I gave it a name, doing whatever it pleases. I need to know more, so hopefully someone can shed light on the situation.Finding no change in Baledagh, I leave my mental plane and see Bulat standing guard over me, while also taking charge of the clean up. Thanks, I say, clapping him on the shoulder. Youre doing a great job, a born leader.Grunting, he shrugs in reply. Got in the habit of taking charge while running with the Militia. Bunch of lazy slackers all around, had to keep me eye on em. Cant slip nothing past Old Bulat, I've run every scheme and ploy there is. Had Mister Rustram tearing his hair out by the roots back in our army days.Well, until Mister Rustram gets back, youve got his job, Mister Bulat.... No. Its either fire, or it isnt, right? You can use it to light something on fire, so for all intents and purposes, its fire.Another sigh. Watch. Staring at the flame on his palm, Tenjin falls silent while I wait, still puzzling over his words. So, is the Heavenly Water not really water? Or is it water, but not wholly infused with my Chi? Or is it just eating my Chi, which is why I cant control it?This is confusing.Tenjins flame leaps into the air and steals away my attention. Hanging in the air, it bounces and weaves about in hypnotic patterns, leaving trails of flame behind that fade away in seconds. Flaring and subsiding in a pulsing rhythm, I realize its doing so in tandem with Tenjins heartbeat. The performance continues with the flames twirling and weaving about, forming tiny shapes before my eyes, a sword, a boat, then a wolf, the level of detail increasing with each transformation. The wolf lifts its head to the sky in a soundless howl, and I can almost hear its triumphant call, the movements so lifelike and real.Then, without warning, the flames blink out of existence. Smiling triumphantly, Tenjin asks, Can fire do that?...Well no, but I still dont get it. How do I make my Chi do that?Frowning, he tilts his head and asks, How do you make your Chi do anything?Stopping to think about it, I realize I dont have a single answer. Well, for Honing and Healing, I visualize what needs to happen. Other times, it's a visceral reaction, like Amplification, letting the energy build up where I need it. For Guiding... I dont even know how that really works, I throw my sword and it hits things, unlike when I use a bow.Upon hearing my answer, Tenjin puffs up with pride. Now do you understand why no one can explain Chi usage to you? We can counsel you and direct your efforts, but the how must come from you. For most, an Awakening allows them to use their Blessing like you use Guiding, but you are obviously an exception. Try all the different methods you listed, and then try them again if they fail. Try other methods, whatever you can come up with, the knowledge lies buried deep inside you.Nodding as I let go of his hand, I absently go over Tenjins words while he returns to his wife. Not entirely helpful. Persevere and eventually Ill get it right. It doesnt help in the short-term, but lets continue with my earlier optimism and assume Ill survive this. Ive got time, no need to rush. Even if I did, theres no guarantee my blessing will be useful in combat, so I might as well stop fretting.Turning my gaze to the south-west district, I search for signs of movement, still worried about Yo Ling. Hopefully Im wrong and hes nothing more than a glory hungry Defiled bandit who overstepped, but I doubt it. Swallowing my apprehension, I turn to leave when a flash of movement catches my eye. Approaching from the north, I spot several waving flags and after a moments concentration, hear the distant sounds of drumming. The flags dip in and out of view, and after a few seconds, I finally pick out the words: Golden Highlands.Dastans people, if I recall correctly. Now that I think about it, for a city supposedly run by the Council, theres been an alarming lack of aid from them. Maybe theyre finally ready to pick up the slack and help out. After a quick consult with Tenjin who Sends a query to XinYue, Im ecstatic to learn that 15,000 mercenaries are here to help, with 5,000 on their way here to shore up our defences. Humming a cheery tune, I head out to meet with XinYue, almost skipping with delight.This is the power of positive thinking. A little optimism, and bam, 5,000 mooks appear to stand between me and the Defiled.Perfect....Almost too perfect...Chapter Meme
