Chapter 563
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Chapter 563
After sitting in a sealed box on wheels for the entire day, I wholeheartedly believe that anyone who claims to enjoy long carriage rides is either a liar or a masochist.
Aesthetically designed by Luo-Luo and decorated with lifelike carvings by Charok, calling it a box on wheels is being a little disingenuous, but its all flash and no substance. The curved undercarriage hosts a set of inadequate shocks, the seats arent deep enough to settle back into, the satin cushions are too hard, and the octagonal windows are set in the centre of the cabin, meaning Id have to lean forward to look out even if they hadnt been closed and shuttered for the entire ride. The interior lacks much needed comfort and safety features, like headrests, armrests, hand holds, or seat belts, topped off with a cushioned bench which is too shallow to rest in, too upright to lean on, and too slippery to comfortably sit on. Given how bumpy the ride was going at a sedate pace over smooth, military roads, Id hate to find out first-hand what itll be like travelling at breakneck speeds over dirt and grass. Its all too easy to imagine me biting my tongue off, impaling myself on my sword, or crashing into the other passengers and breaking all my fragile, non-Martial Warrior bones while our carriage breaks through a blockade or flees from an assassination attempt, assuming the pretty golden-yellow wood (which tastelessly screams faux-Imperial) even holds up beneath the initial attack.
All in all, this opulent monstrosity is pleasing to the eye and hazardous to ones health, which essentially makes it Luo-Luo in vehicle form.
Thats not entirely fair, because its hardly her fault shes as popular as she is, but I cant help but resent her for being the source of so many woes. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself to be nicer to Luo-Luo, I sit alone in the dim carriage interior and continue listing off its flaws and inadequacies, because there isnt much else to do while waiting for Binesi to give me the all clear. Everyone else ditched me and disembarked as soon as the carriage came to a stop, even sweet Aurie and loyal Mama Bun, but Im stuck in the carriage until the camp is secured. I cant just call my guards over and head out, noooo. Scouts need to comb through the surroundings and report back on areas of interest, patrols routes have to be drawn up and scheduled, defences dug in, checkpoints reinforced, passwords and confirmation codes exchanged, and a whole slew of minor details to handle and go over before I can step out into the open air, because Binesis safety measures makes my schizophrenic paranoia look like minor anxiety.
Then again, if Im assassinated, itll probably spark off a civil war which will doom the Empire, so I guess better safe than sorry.
...The carriage needs more ventilation. It reeks of unwashed bunnies, aromatic wildcats, and heavily-perfumed courtesan, but probably because all the windows are shut. Ooh!, I should install bunbun receptacles. Small, cushioned boxes for them to rest in, like how they used to sleep in saddlebags when they were babies. Theres plenty of room under the future armrest, and over it too, so long as theyre padded on the outside just in case of impact. Gotta make sure we have one for every bunbun, so I wont have to worry about squishing someone every time I shift in my seat. Thisll mean more room to stretch out once I rip out the seats and replace them with more comfortable couches, ones deep enough for my wildcats to curl up on. Seriously, why do we need all this empty space and bare walls in the carriage? Its not like theres a fold-out table to work on, or a lantern to provide enough light to read by. There isnt even a cup holder or weapons receptacle, though to be fair, Mom, Alsantset, and Charok all seemed pretty blase about holding their spears all day, and even Luo-Luo didnt seem to mind cradling her sceptre and silly George at the same time.
...Its this god-damned mundane sword. I hate it. No matter how I wear it, it doesnt feel right, and I still cant get the hang of swinging it around. Ugh. Besides, this is really my fault anyways. I knew Luo-Luo was light on practical experience, so I shouldve paid more attention during the whole carriage creation process, but in my defence, I never expected to actually sit in this rolling coffin. I figured this would be Luo-Luos carriage, and Id ride Zabu everywhere or sit on a rickshaw with Lin-Lin, but man proposes, and Heaven disposes.
Or more aptly, shit happens, and real shits going to happen right here in this carriage if Im stuck waiting much longer...
By some miracle of the Mother, a knock sounds at the carriage door only moments before I call for my chamber pot once again, and Binesis voice sounds out. Ready and waiting, he intones, and I all but leap out of my seat to charge the door. Catching myself at the last moment, I take a second to compose myself before cracking the door open just a hair, ready to head out to use the latrines but not so eager to die just yet. Seriously, usually Im agonizing over the lack of safety measures, but even with Baby-Sitter Binesi here to dot the Is and cross the Ts, Im still not entirely at ease.
Then again, thats probably normal, given my current situation. Five Supreme Families are gunning for my head, and while Yuzhen and MuYang have done a passable job fending off all the Imperial lackeys in the Northern Citadel, were on the road now and Dads back at the citadel along with his many, many soldiers. Its just me and ten-thousand Sentinels and soldiers against the world.
Fun, fun, fun.
A half-second later, biology wins out over uncertainty and I march out the carriage, hoping I look suitably calm and collected for my waiting friends and family. Alas, even if I do, theyre not around to appreciate it, as the only people waiting to receive me are my Death Corps guards and loyal, ever-present Ping Ping, with my caring family, sweet betrotheds, and lovable floofs all nowhere to be found. Heartbreaking, but Ill live, so I smile and hug the sweet turtle before turning to Green One to whisper, Escort me to my tent please. Not my yurt. Which is set up less than ten meters away and makes me suspect Binesis bullshit about securing the camp was probably just an excuse to keep me miserable. Then again, maybe not, since Binesi was stuck standing outside the carriage the entire time instead of leaving me to my personal protectors. I need to go. To my tent.
Picking up on my none-too-subtle hints, Green One salutes, bows, and replies, Mercy, Imperial Consort. This one has failed you. Your tent was not set up, as per Major Binesis orders.
Shit in a pot like a proper noble, private. Though delivered in the same neutral monotone as always, theres a hint of satisfaction in Binesis inflection as he scans our surroundings for danger. Move. Too exposed out here. After a short jaunt to the yurt, Binesi puts his hand on my chest to stop me from going in and heads up the stairs to check the interior, then all but tosses me inside. Nodding at the chamber pot, he adds, Enjoy.
With the conversation finished as far as hes concerned, Binesi moves to shut the door, but I raise an arm to block it. Hang on. Bad move considering the difference in strength, but he magnanimously holds back from breaking my hand and glowers instead. Weak. If Akanais glower is a ten, and Milas an eight, then Binesis is barely a tepid four, but I still shoot a nervous glance at the shadows to my left. Major, if you would be so kind as to raise a Sound Barrier please, I say, and after a long pause, he rolls his eyes and complies. Or at least I assume he does, since he gestures at me to go on, so I nod in thanks and continue. Am I right to assume we have uninvited guests lurking about? Binesi nods, but I knew as much thanks to Pong Pongs astute senses alerting me to Scrying eyes all day. While we werent travelling at top speeds, we covered close to fifty kilometres today, which means were well out of range from spies situated inside the Northern Citadel, so any lingering eyes still with us are somewhere nearby. Considering the losses theyve already incurred, I doubt these shadowy presences are of Eastern origin. Dad and Charok slaughtered almost a hundred well-trained and well-equipped Imperial assassins during their heroic ride back from the farm, and I doubt the Supreme Families have hundreds more hanging around Central. Were probably looking at locals, either hired knives under contract or personal killers of influential families.
Local blades kill just as well as Imperial ones.
Well, unlike Imperials, these killers might not have any qualms about keeping things quiet. The corpses of the Imperial assassins had all been neatly removed and disposed of by the time I rode back to the Citadel a few hours later, which I thought was kinda weird. Every civilian from here to the farthest reaches of the Empire can see Im not a welcome addition to the Imperial Clan, but I guess the Legates enemies would prefer it if no one knew they were actively trying to have me murdered.
Latching on to my train of thought, Binesi frowns and scratches his chin, mulling over the possibilities. Youre worried theyll strike regardless of the consequences.
Yes. Chances are, theyve been given orders or made assurances to their Imperial backers, and desperate people do stupid things. Like launch a suicidal attack on a military camp of ten-thousand soldiers in the hopes of assassinating an upstart Imperial Consort. Im not too too worried about that, mostly because there really isnt anything I can do about it. If their forces are strong enough to kill me here, with Nian Zus Famous Fifty, the Marshals veteran honour guard, and my mother watching over me, well then I guess Ill die. What Im concerned about is what our enemies might do if they think they have no chance of success, because I doubt theyll just slink home and say, sorry boss, we couldnt do it. If it were up to me, Id do my best to introduce new variables by spoiling the food supply, blocking the road, killing someone else of importance, or most effectively of all, kidnapping a cute and lovable niece or nephew to force me into a vulnerable position.
Hell, if someone demanded my death in exchange for Tali or Tates life, Id slit my throat myself.
And what sort of idiocy are you planning?This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com
Swallowing a snappy retort, I smile and say, To give our enemies hope, so they dont do anything too too smart or too stupid. Ignoring his grimace, I push on and explain, Weve left them no chance to strike at me, which means we cant predict where or when they will attack, but if we leave a flaw in my defences, an opening in my routine, then we can be ready and waiting when they inevitably strike.
So you want to play the sacrificial goat and lure the tigers down from their mountains. Eyeing me in doubt, Binesi asks You know usually what happens to the goat, right? Much as I would enjoy being relieved of my duties, my job here is to keep you alive and prevent a doomed rebellion from plunging the front lines into chaos and giving the united Defiled an opportunity to break through. Curling his lip in a sneer, Binesi shuts the door and adds, Remain inside until we are ready to set out tomorrow morning.
Im not asking for permission, I yell, hoping he can still hear me. Only for your cooperation.
Faster than I can blink an eye, the door rips open and Binesi marches in, prodding at my chest even as he slams the door shut behind him. Step outside without my permission, he snarls, looming over me like a spectre of death, And I will have you drawn up on military charges and whipped within an inch of your life. This is no game, foundling. This is the fate of the Empire, the lives of hundreds of millions of people at stake here, so you will obey, or you will be made to
With so many ships and barges pulling ashore for the night, it takes a little effort to find a place Ping Ping can slip in from, but the sweet girl refuses to go for a swim and stays on dry land instead. Daintily stretching her neck to slurp water from the river, she keeps a close eye on her surroundings while insisting I stand in the crook of her shoulder. Im not sure if its my imagination, but it feels like shes been more alert these past few days, maybe blaming herself for letting those assassins almost kill me. Also, I think she really misses her red panda friends, because every time I duck in to visit her in her Natal Palace, she brings me over to see them and squeaks in distress next to the chunkiest of chonkers. Its heartbreaking, and Im almost ready to tell the Legate that Ping Ping needs to go home for a spell. I could spin it as part of my most important Turtle Attendant duties, which is how I came up with this whole idea in the first place.
Please let that giant red panda still be there. I wanna hug him sooooooo bad...
After drinking enough water to fill a backyard pool, we head back to camp with a noticeable spring in Ping Pings step. Making a note to have the Death Corps bring her water to drink during lunch, I discuss the logistics with Green One until Binesi chimes in to tell us there are whole wagons filled with barrels of water, just for soldiers to drink. Since theyre filled every night, theres no harm in giving Ping Ping two or three during lunch, and we make it back to camp in high spirits thanks to the noticeable lack of bloody holes in my chest. After feeding her a few treats, I say farewell to the sleepy big turtle and leave her to rest, though it pains me to walk away from her mournful squeaks which tell me she still wants to play.
I wish she were small and cute like inside her Natal Palace, then I could bring her into my yurt and carriage where we would cuddle all the time...
I hate living like this, under strict guard at all times, and as I head into my yurt, I stop to watch my friends and family enjoying themselves after a long days ride. Lin-Lin and the twins busy themselves running around with the animals, while Mila, Yan, and Alsantset sit around in a distracted daze, wholly conscious and responsive, but not really entirely there. Mom is more or less in the same fugue state, though at least shes aware of her surroundings, and she responds to my gaze with a carefree smile and a sympathetic tilt of her head, though not sympathetic enough to come over and join me in incarceration.
Grandpa Du claims theyre all like this because a part of their minds are still ruminating on the mysteries of Insight. He followed up the statement with a look like he expected me to jump for joy and praise the Mother Above or something, but I mean its cool and all that theyre receiving an upload from the universe, but thats not proof of anything. It only proves theres something strange but beneficial afoot, which I already knew because Chi. Maybe its the Mother Above, or maybe were all living in a simulation and our overseers are downloading kung-fu moves straight into our brains for shits and giggles. Who knows?
Seriously though, cmon Mother in Heaven. Is this really how its gonna be? Im crippled here, and youre gonna taunt me by giving my family and loved ones casual power-ups? Totally not cool. Napping with turtles and playing in their Natal Palaces is nice and all, but I'd like something more tangible please.
As Luo-Luo picks up the pear-shaped guitar-thing she calls a pipa, I spot Song heading off with a bucket of raw meat in hand. Going to check if her weasel-bear friend followed us all the way out here, no doubt. Shes been feeding him for days now, or feeding some animal, because even though she leaves meat out twice a day, she has yet to lay eyes on him since she first set him free. I doubt it followed our convoy fifty kilometres south, but I hope she finds him again, and not just because I want more floofs. She deserves to have a friend all of her own, and Im rooting for her to be happy.
But I still want to pet it, so she better be okay with sharing. No matter how I imagine the combination, a weasel-bear just sounds so adorable and floofy.
Clearing his throat from beside me, Binesi nudges me back into the yurt with only mildly less force than a boot to the ass. Grumbling about the indignity of it all, I look around and greet Naaran and the shadow guard with a slight nod, to which the former responds with a disgruntled Sending. Difficult to secretly guard you when you give away our presence, he admonishes, and I wince at my own stupidity. I cant help it, its just... manners, you know? If someones there, you greet them, thats just how it is. Your man came by with some documents and placed them on the table. Stop nodding and do not answer. I will stand guard, and you will go about your business as usual.
Almost nodding in agreement despite the warning, I head over to the table and glance over the documents with a smile. Its a stack of correspondences with various people representing various interests, most of which are business related and entirely genuine, but strategically placed towards the bottom with a corner poking out is a letter from Situ Chi Gan, who according to Zian, is one of Patriarch Rang Mins strongest supporters. Apparently, Chi Gans son, Chi Lok, was a part of the group who chased us off after the Society Contests, and ended up deader than dirt, so Chi Gan swore to have his vengeance upon the Bekhai, which means my enemies should find it strange to see a letter from him in my possession. Less than a quarter of the letter is visible, but theres enough there for any spying Scryers to determine that Ive come to an agreement with Situ Chi Gan and were plotting to work together.
The letters a forgery, of course, because not only did I not know the man existed until a few days ago, even if I knew who killed his son, Id never hand the person over like the letter implies, but its enough if my enemies believe it. Once word of this reaches Situ Rang Min, it should be enough to sow the seeds of doubt in his mind, but even if Rang Min has complete trust in Chi Gan, which I sincerely doubt, then its not like I invested a whole lot into the wasted scheme.
Technically, MuYang did all the work, with Juniors help. Theres also a folder of forged documents Ill peruse later tonight, once Pong Pong alerts me to Scrying again, just in case leaving incriminating letters around is too obvious a bait. Honestly, it wouldve never occurred to me that the little turtle could sense Scrying of all things, but it explains why he glares at nothing so often, and stops when I go and investigate. According to Mom, Scrying is like shaving off a slice of your Domain, attaching it to your eye with Chi, and sending it out to look through. While the mechanics dont make much sense, I know that any external Chi construct will rapidly fall apart if it comes in contact with a living body, which means I was probably walking straight through their Scrying eyeballs while heading over to see what Pong Pong was staring at, and thereby ruining their little peep show.
Even going by the few times I can confidently say someone was Scrying, I feel like way too many people have seen me walking around naked. I absolutely hate it, but unless I can teach Roc to sense Scying and ram his feathery ass into them, then Im shit out of luck.
Settling down to wait for dinner, I open up the folder of forged letters in case someone is Scrying right now, while inwardly reviewing my lessons from Luo-Luo. Id ask her to come help review in person, but I had a difficult enough time keeping my hands to myself when she was sitting across from me in the carriage, and that was with Mom right there beside me. I dont know what it is, but theres something about Luo-Luo today which is so... alluring. Normally, shes so prim and proper all the time, with her flawlessly arranged hair, pristine posture, and perfectly smoothed skirts, but today, she looked a little out of sorts and less, I dunno, intimidating. I mean, she could still show up at a formal ball and fit right in, but there were minor imperfections which stuck out and somehow made her more appealing, approachable, and... vulnerable. A stray lock of hair out of place, the shoulder of her dress slipping slightly to one side, her seated posture laid-back and inviting, and her lips parted ever so slightly while she watched me with a wide-eyed, adoring stare... it sounds horrible to say, but she seemed so relaxed and defenceless, I had this primal urge to go over there and...
I didnt though, and wouldnt have, even if Mom wasnt there, but I wanted to, even after her constant humming was starting to grate on my nerves. The animals loved it though, along with her impromptu performance from Alsantsets carriage, and I kinda wish I knew more about how it works. Ping Ping loves it when I hum to her, in real life and in her Natal Palace, but I dont feel anything different about it. Pong Pong on the other hand couldnt care less, and the rest of my floofs just love the attention, so I need to do more testing before I can come to a definitive conclusion on whether my humming has the same effect as Luo-Luos strumming.
But all that is for another time, along with figuring out how to use Chi, repair a shattered Core, and how I can Devour Demon Ichor through touch. Right now, I have a much more difficult lesson to learn, which is how to fucking be polite. This means sitting down and reviewing my lessons in decorum until everything becomes second nature. No more wild, manner-less savage and foreigner Falling Rain, I must become a noble, respectable young man worthy of my lofty new station. It sounds easy, but the people here are so backwards when it comes to social interaction, and its all because of face. Its a stupid concept, and I still dont understand it, which is terrifying because even though everyone knows I dont understand face, no one can really offer a proper explanation. As far as I can tell, face is linked to dignity and prestige, but is a separate concept from both. Dad tried explaining it once and said, Face can be given, fought for, or lost, but it cannot be taken, and to demand face is to surrender all face you possess.
Which is like... what does any of that even mean?
The way I see it, face is about ego. People strut around with their giant heads, and lose their temper when theyre inevitably taken down a notch. Except its not inevitable, because everyone else tiptoes around their ego and say theyre giving face, which is stupid because why should I be responsible for coddling someone elses sense of self-worth? If you dont want to feel stupid, then dont do stupid things, which is a perfectly logical way to go through life, except everyone Ive ever brought this up with has been horrified by my take on face.
Its not about the individual, Dad explained, Nor is it merely personal pride. It is more than that. It is respect earned by generations before, the dignity afforded to noble heroes of times gone by, or prestige earned by the community as a whole. Face is given to an individual, but it is shared as a whole.
Which still doesnt really explain the concept, because there isnt a proper explanation for face. Its just this intangible currency were all supposed to take pride in accruing and feel ashamed if ever lost, but no one can tell how much face they have or really compare it with anyone else, so it becomes this endless contest of oneupsmanship where people compete with their exploits, wallets, heirs, and whatever else might come to mind.
In other words, its all complete bullshit.
No, thinking like this is why I keep getting into trouble all the time. Theres no point complaining about the broken system, because nothing will change, so like Nian Zu said, I need to learn from my mistakes and stay inside the lines. I just... gotta give face, and need to save face, because people will try to make me lose face. Cant act without regards for face, because that would be shameless, but I also cant appear to want face too much, because that would also be shameless. If Im too thick-skinned, Ill appear rude and unsociable, but being too thin-skinned will turn me into a laughing stock, because again, Ill seem desperate for face. There are no hard rules when it comes to face, which is disastrous because that means I only have my own judgment to rely on, which history has proven is complete and utter shit.
So I guess Im doomed. Or not. Who knows. Not me. Definitely not me.
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Chapter 563
After sitting in a sealed box on wheels for the entire day, I wholeheartedly believe that anyone who claims to enjoy long carriage rides is either a liar or a masochist.
Aesthetically designed by Luo-Luo and decorated with lifelike carvings by Charok, calling it a box on wheels is being a little disingenuous, but its all flash and no substance. The curved undercarriage hosts a set of inadequate shocks, the seats arent deep enough to settle back into, the satin cushions are too hard, and the octagonal windows are set in the centre of the cabin, meaning Id have to lean forward to look out even if they hadnt been closed and shuttered for the entire ride. The interior lacks much needed comfort and safety features, like headrests, armrests, hand holds, or seat belts, topped off with a cushioned bench which is too shallow to rest in, too upright to lean on, and too slippery to comfortably sit on. Given how bumpy the ride was going at a sedate pace over smooth, military roads, Id hate to find out first-hand what itll be like travelling at breakneck speeds over dirt and grass. Its all too easy to imagine me biting my tongue off, impaling myself on my sword, or crashing into the other passengers and breaking all my fragile, non-Martial Warrior bones while our carriage breaks through a blockade or flees from an assassination attempt, assuming the pretty golden-yellow wood (which tastelessly screams faux-Imperial) even holds up beneath the initial attack.
All in all, this opulent monstrosity is pleasing to the eye and hazardous to ones health, which essentially makes it Luo-Luo in vehicle form.
Thats not entirely fair, because its hardly her fault shes as popular as she is, but I cant help but resent her for being the source of so many woes. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself to be nicer to Luo-Luo, I sit alone in the dim carriage interior and continue listing off its flaws and inadequacies, because there isnt much else to do while waiting for Binesi to give me the all clear. Everyone else ditched me and disembarked as soon as the carriage came to a stop, even sweet Aurie and loyal Mama Bun, but Im stuck in the carriage until the camp is secured. I cant just call my guards over and head out, noooo. Scouts need to comb through the surroundings and report back on areas of interest, patrols routes have to be drawn up and scheduled, defences dug in, checkpoints reinforced, passwords and confirmation codes exchanged, and a whole slew of minor details to handle and go over before I can step out into the open air, because Binesis safety measures makes my schizophrenic paranoia look like minor anxiety.
Then again, if Im assassinated, itll probably spark off a civil war which will doom the Empire, so I guess better safe than sorry.
...The carriage needs more ventilation. It reeks of unwashed bunnies, aromatic wildcats, and heavily-perfumed courtesan, but probably because all the windows are shut. Ooh!, I should install bunbun receptacles. Small, cushioned boxes for them to rest in, like how they used to sleep in saddlebags when they were babies. Theres plenty of room under the future armrest, and over it too, so long as theyre padded on the outside just in case of impact. Gotta make sure we have one for every bunbun, so I wont have to worry about squishing someone every time I shift in my seat. Thisll mean more room to stretch out once I rip out the seats and replace them with more comfortable couches, ones deep enough for my wildcats to curl up on. Seriously, why do we need all this empty space and bare walls in the carriage? Its not like theres a fold-out table to work on, or a lantern to provide enough light to read by. There isnt even a cup holder or weapons receptacle, though to be fair, Mom, Alsantset, and Charok all seemed pretty blase about holding their spears all day, and even Luo-Luo didnt seem to mind cradling her sceptre and silly George at the same time.
...Its this god-damned mundane sword. I hate it. No matter how I wear it, it doesnt feel right, and I still cant get the hang of swinging it around. Ugh. Besides, this is really my fault anyways. I knew Luo-Luo was light on practical experience, so I shouldve paid more attention during the whole carriage creation process, but in my defence, I never expected to actually sit in this rolling coffin. I figured this would be Luo-Luos carriage, and Id ride Zabu everywhere or sit on a rickshaw with Lin-Lin, but man proposes, and Heaven disposes.
Or more aptly, shit happens, and real shits going to happen right here in this carriage if Im stuck waiting much longer...
By some miracle of the Mother, a knock sounds at the carriage door only moments before I call for my chamber pot once again, and Binesis voice sounds out. Ready and waiting, he intones, and I all but leap out of my seat to charge the door. Catching myself at the last moment, I take a second to compose myself before cracking the door open just a hair, ready to head out to use the latrines but not so eager to die just yet. Seriously, usually Im agonizing over the lack of safety measures, but even with Baby-Sitter Binesi here to dot the Is and cross the Ts, Im still not entirely at ease.
Then again, thats probably normal, given my current situation. Five Supreme Families are gunning for my head, and while Yuzhen and MuYang have done a passable job fending off all the Imperial lackeys in the Northern Citadel, were on the road now and Dads back at the citadel along with his many, many soldiers. Its just me and ten-thousand Sentinels and soldiers against the world.
Fun, fun, fun.
A half-second later, biology wins out over uncertainty and I march out the carriage, hoping I look suitably calm and collected for my waiting friends and family. Alas, even if I do, theyre not around to appreciate it, as the only people waiting to receive me are my Death Corps guards and loyal, ever-present Ping Ping, with my caring family, sweet betrotheds, and lovable floofs all nowhere to be found. Heartbreaking, but Ill live, so I smile and hug the sweet turtle before turning to Green One to whisper, Escort me to my tent please. Not my yurt. Which is set up less than ten meters away and makes me suspect Binesis bullshit about securing the camp was probably just an excuse to keep me miserable. Then again, maybe not, since Binesi was stuck standing outside the carriage the entire time instead of leaving me to my personal protectors. I need to go. To my tent.
Picking up on my none-too-subtle hints, Green One salutes, bows, and replies, Mercy, Imperial Consort. This one has failed you. Your tent was not set up, as per Major Binesis orders.
Shit in a pot like a proper noble, private. Though delivered in the same neutral monotone as always, theres a hint of satisfaction in Binesis inflection as he scans our surroundings for danger. Move. Too exposed out here. After a short jaunt to the yurt, Binesi puts his hand on my chest to stop me from going in and heads up the stairs to check the interior, then all but tosses me inside. Nodding at the chamber pot, he adds, Enjoy.
With the conversation finished as far as hes concerned, Binesi moves to shut the door, but I raise an arm to block it. Hang on. Bad move considering the difference in strength, but he magnanimously holds back from breaking my hand and glowers instead. Weak. If Akanais glower is a ten, and Milas an eight, then Binesis is barely a tepid four, but I still shoot a nervous glance at the shadows to my left. Major, if you would be so kind as to raise a Sound Barrier please, I say, and after a long pause, he rolls his eyes and complies. Or at least I assume he does, since he gestures at me to go on, so I nod in thanks and continue. Am I right to assume we have uninvited guests lurking about? Binesi nods, but I knew as much thanks to Pong Pongs astute senses alerting me to Scrying eyes all day. While we werent travelling at top speeds, we covered close to fifty kilometres today, which means were well out of range from spies situated inside the Northern Citadel, so any lingering eyes still with us are somewhere nearby. Considering the losses theyve already incurred, I doubt these shadowy presences are of Eastern origin. Dad and Charok slaughtered almost a hundred well-trained and well-equipped Imperial assassins during their heroic ride back from the farm, and I doubt the Supreme Families have hundreds more hanging around Central. Were probably looking at locals, either hired knives under contract or personal killers of influential families.
Local blades kill just as well as Imperial ones.
Well, unlike Imperials, these killers might not have any qualms about keeping things quiet. The corpses of the Imperial assassins had all been neatly removed and disposed of by the time I rode back to the Citadel a few hours later, which I thought was kinda weird. Every civilian from here to the farthest reaches of the Empire can see Im not a welcome addition to the Imperial Clan, but I guess the Legates enemies would prefer it if no one knew they were actively trying to have me murdered.
Latching on to my train of thought, Binesi frowns and scratches his chin, mulling over the possibilities. Youre worried theyll strike regardless of the consequences.
Yes. Chances are, theyve been given orders or made assurances to their Imperial backers, and desperate people do stupid things. Like launch a suicidal attack on a military camp of ten-thousand soldiers in the hopes of assassinating an upstart Imperial Consort. Im not too too worried about that, mostly because there really isnt anything I can do about it. If their forces are strong enough to kill me here, with Nian Zus Famous Fifty, the Marshals veteran honour guard, and my mother watching over me, well then I guess Ill die. What Im concerned about is what our enemies might do if they think they have no chance of success, because I doubt theyll just slink home and say, sorry boss, we couldnt do it. If it were up to me, Id do my best to introduce new variables by spoiling the food supply, blocking the road, killing someone else of importance, or most effectively of all, kidnapping a cute and lovable niece or nephew to force me into a vulnerable position.
Hell, if someone demanded my death in exchange for Tali or Tates life, Id slit my throat myself.
And what sort of idiocy are you planning?This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com
Swallowing a snappy retort, I smile and say, To give our enemies hope, so they dont do anything too too smart or too stupid. Ignoring his grimace, I push on and explain, Weve left them no chance to strike at me, which means we cant predict where or when they will attack, but if we leave a flaw in my defences, an opening in my routine, then we can be ready and waiting when they inevitably strike.
So you want to play the sacrificial goat and lure the tigers down from their mountains. Eyeing me in doubt, Binesi asks You know usually what happens to the goat, right? Much as I would enjoy being relieved of my duties, my job here is to keep you alive and prevent a doomed rebellion from plunging the front lines into chaos and giving the united Defiled an opportunity to break through. Curling his lip in a sneer, Binesi shuts the door and adds, Remain inside until we are ready to set out tomorrow morning.
Im not asking for permission, I yell, hoping he can still hear me. Only for your cooperation.
Faster than I can blink an eye, the door rips open and Binesi marches in, prodding at my chest even as he slams the door shut behind him. Step outside without my permission, he snarls, looming over me like a spectre of death, And I will have you drawn up on military charges and whipped within an inch of your life. This is no game, foundling. This is the fate of the Empire, the lives of hundreds of millions of people at stake here, so you will obey, or you will be made to
With so many ships and barges pulling ashore for the night, it takes a little effort to find a place Ping Ping can slip in from, but the sweet girl refuses to go for a swim and stays on dry land instead. Daintily stretching her neck to slurp water from the river, she keeps a close eye on her surroundings while insisting I stand in the crook of her shoulder. Im not sure if its my imagination, but it feels like shes been more alert these past few days, maybe blaming herself for letting those assassins almost kill me. Also, I think she really misses her red panda friends, because every time I duck in to visit her in her Natal Palace, she brings me over to see them and squeaks in distress next to the chunkiest of chonkers. Its heartbreaking, and Im almost ready to tell the Legate that Ping Ping needs to go home for a spell. I could spin it as part of my most important Turtle Attendant duties, which is how I came up with this whole idea in the first place.
Please let that giant red panda still be there. I wanna hug him sooooooo bad...
After drinking enough water to fill a backyard pool, we head back to camp with a noticeable spring in Ping Pings step. Making a note to have the Death Corps bring her water to drink during lunch, I discuss the logistics with Green One until Binesi chimes in to tell us there are whole wagons filled with barrels of water, just for soldiers to drink. Since theyre filled every night, theres no harm in giving Ping Ping two or three during lunch, and we make it back to camp in high spirits thanks to the noticeable lack of bloody holes in my chest. After feeding her a few treats, I say farewell to the sleepy big turtle and leave her to rest, though it pains me to walk away from her mournful squeaks which tell me she still wants to play.
I wish she were small and cute like inside her Natal Palace, then I could bring her into my yurt and carriage where we would cuddle all the time...
I hate living like this, under strict guard at all times, and as I head into my yurt, I stop to watch my friends and family enjoying themselves after a long days ride. Lin-Lin and the twins busy themselves running around with the animals, while Mila, Yan, and Alsantset sit around in a distracted daze, wholly conscious and responsive, but not really entirely there. Mom is more or less in the same fugue state, though at least shes aware of her surroundings, and she responds to my gaze with a carefree smile and a sympathetic tilt of her head, though not sympathetic enough to come over and join me in incarceration.
Grandpa Du claims theyre all like this because a part of their minds are still ruminating on the mysteries of Insight. He followed up the statement with a look like he expected me to jump for joy and praise the Mother Above or something, but I mean its cool and all that theyre receiving an upload from the universe, but thats not proof of anything. It only proves theres something strange but beneficial afoot, which I already knew because Chi. Maybe its the Mother Above, or maybe were all living in a simulation and our overseers are downloading kung-fu moves straight into our brains for shits and giggles. Who knows?
Seriously though, cmon Mother in Heaven. Is this really how its gonna be? Im crippled here, and youre gonna taunt me by giving my family and loved ones casual power-ups? Totally not cool. Napping with turtles and playing in their Natal Palaces is nice and all, but I'd like something more tangible please.
As Luo-Luo picks up the pear-shaped guitar-thing she calls a pipa, I spot Song heading off with a bucket of raw meat in hand. Going to check if her weasel-bear friend followed us all the way out here, no doubt. Shes been feeding him for days now, or feeding some animal, because even though she leaves meat out twice a day, she has yet to lay eyes on him since she first set him free. I doubt it followed our convoy fifty kilometres south, but I hope she finds him again, and not just because I want more floofs. She deserves to have a friend all of her own, and Im rooting for her to be happy.
But I still want to pet it, so she better be okay with sharing. No matter how I imagine the combination, a weasel-bear just sounds so adorable and floofy.
Clearing his throat from beside me, Binesi nudges me back into the yurt with only mildly less force than a boot to the ass. Grumbling about the indignity of it all, I look around and greet Naaran and the shadow guard with a slight nod, to which the former responds with a disgruntled Sending. Difficult to secretly guard you when you give away our presence, he admonishes, and I wince at my own stupidity. I cant help it, its just... manners, you know? If someones there, you greet them, thats just how it is. Your man came by with some documents and placed them on the table. Stop nodding and do not answer. I will stand guard, and you will go about your business as usual.
Almost nodding in agreement despite the warning, I head over to the table and glance over the documents with a smile. Its a stack of correspondences with various people representing various interests, most of which are business related and entirely genuine, but strategically placed towards the bottom with a corner poking out is a letter from Situ Chi Gan, who according to Zian, is one of Patriarch Rang Mins strongest supporters. Apparently, Chi Gans son, Chi Lok, was a part of the group who chased us off after the Society Contests, and ended up deader than dirt, so Chi Gan swore to have his vengeance upon the Bekhai, which means my enemies should find it strange to see a letter from him in my possession. Less than a quarter of the letter is visible, but theres enough there for any spying Scryers to determine that Ive come to an agreement with Situ Chi Gan and were plotting to work together.
The letters a forgery, of course, because not only did I not know the man existed until a few days ago, even if I knew who killed his son, Id never hand the person over like the letter implies, but its enough if my enemies believe it. Once word of this reaches Situ Rang Min, it should be enough to sow the seeds of doubt in his mind, but even if Rang Min has complete trust in Chi Gan, which I sincerely doubt, then its not like I invested a whole lot into the wasted scheme.
Technically, MuYang did all the work, with Juniors help. Theres also a folder of forged documents Ill peruse later tonight, once Pong Pong alerts me to Scrying again, just in case leaving incriminating letters around is too obvious a bait. Honestly, it wouldve never occurred to me that the little turtle could sense Scrying of all things, but it explains why he glares at nothing so often, and stops when I go and investigate. According to Mom, Scrying is like shaving off a slice of your Domain, attaching it to your eye with Chi, and sending it out to look through. While the mechanics dont make much sense, I know that any external Chi construct will rapidly fall apart if it comes in contact with a living body, which means I was probably walking straight through their Scrying eyeballs while heading over to see what Pong Pong was staring at, and thereby ruining their little peep show.
Even going by the few times I can confidently say someone was Scrying, I feel like way too many people have seen me walking around naked. I absolutely hate it, but unless I can teach Roc to sense Scying and ram his feathery ass into them, then Im shit out of luck.
Settling down to wait for dinner, I open up the folder of forged letters in case someone is Scrying right now, while inwardly reviewing my lessons from Luo-Luo. Id ask her to come help review in person, but I had a difficult enough time keeping my hands to myself when she was sitting across from me in the carriage, and that was with Mom right there beside me. I dont know what it is, but theres something about Luo-Luo today which is so... alluring. Normally, shes so prim and proper all the time, with her flawlessly arranged hair, pristine posture, and perfectly smoothed skirts, but today, she looked a little out of sorts and less, I dunno, intimidating. I mean, she could still show up at a formal ball and fit right in, but there were minor imperfections which stuck out and somehow made her more appealing, approachable, and... vulnerable. A stray lock of hair out of place, the shoulder of her dress slipping slightly to one side, her seated posture laid-back and inviting, and her lips parted ever so slightly while she watched me with a wide-eyed, adoring stare... it sounds horrible to say, but she seemed so relaxed and defenceless, I had this primal urge to go over there and...
I didnt though, and wouldnt have, even if Mom wasnt there, but I wanted to, even after her constant humming was starting to grate on my nerves. The animals loved it though, along with her impromptu performance from Alsantsets carriage, and I kinda wish I knew more about how it works. Ping Ping loves it when I hum to her, in real life and in her Natal Palace, but I dont feel anything different about it. Pong Pong on the other hand couldnt care less, and the rest of my floofs just love the attention, so I need to do more testing before I can come to a definitive conclusion on whether my humming has the same effect as Luo-Luos strumming.
But all that is for another time, along with figuring out how to use Chi, repair a shattered Core, and how I can Devour Demon Ichor through touch. Right now, I have a much more difficult lesson to learn, which is how to fucking be polite. This means sitting down and reviewing my lessons in decorum until everything becomes second nature. No more wild, manner-less savage and foreigner Falling Rain, I must become a noble, respectable young man worthy of my lofty new station. It sounds easy, but the people here are so backwards when it comes to social interaction, and its all because of face. Its a stupid concept, and I still dont understand it, which is terrifying because even though everyone knows I dont understand face, no one can really offer a proper explanation. As far as I can tell, face is linked to dignity and prestige, but is a separate concept from both. Dad tried explaining it once and said, Face can be given, fought for, or lost, but it cannot be taken, and to demand face is to surrender all face you possess.
Which is like... what does any of that even mean?
The way I see it, face is about ego. People strut around with their giant heads, and lose their temper when theyre inevitably taken down a notch. Except its not inevitable, because everyone else tiptoes around their ego and say theyre giving face, which is stupid because why should I be responsible for coddling someone elses sense of self-worth? If you dont want to feel stupid, then dont do stupid things, which is a perfectly logical way to go through life, except everyone Ive ever brought this up with has been horrified by my take on face.
Its not about the individual, Dad explained, Nor is it merely personal pride. It is more than that. It is respect earned by generations before, the dignity afforded to noble heroes of times gone by, or prestige earned by the community as a whole. Face is given to an individual, but it is shared as a whole.
Which still doesnt really explain the concept, because there isnt a proper explanation for face. Its just this intangible currency were all supposed to take pride in accruing and feel ashamed if ever lost, but no one can tell how much face they have or really compare it with anyone else, so it becomes this endless contest of oneupsmanship where people compete with their exploits, wallets, heirs, and whatever else might come to mind.
In other words, its all complete bullshit.
No, thinking like this is why I keep getting into trouble all the time. Theres no point complaining about the broken system, because nothing will change, so like Nian Zu said, I need to learn from my mistakes and stay inside the lines. I just... gotta give face, and need to save face, because people will try to make me lose face. Cant act without regards for face, because that would be shameless, but I also cant appear to want face too much, because that would also be shameless. If Im too thick-skinned, Ill appear rude and unsociable, but being too thin-skinned will turn me into a laughing stock, because again, Ill seem desperate for face. There are no hard rules when it comes to face, which is disastrous because that means I only have my own judgment to rely on, which history has proven is complete and utter shit.
So I guess Im doomed. Or not. Who knows. Not me. Definitely not me.
Chapter Meme
Chapter 563After sitting in a sealed box on wheels for the entire day, I wholeheartedly believe that anyone who claims to enjoy long carriage rides is either a liar or a masochist.Aesthetically designed by Luo-Luo and decorated with lifelike carvings by Charok, calling it a box on wheels is being a little disingenuous, but its all flash and no substance. The curved undercarriage hosts a set of inadequate shocks, the seats arent deep enough to settle back into, the satin cushions are too hard, and the octagonal windows are set in the centre of the cabin, meaning Id have to lean forward to look out even if they hadnt been closed and shuttered for the entire ride. The interior lacks much needed comfort and safety features, like headrests, armrests, hand holds, or seat belts, topped off with a cushioned bench which is too shallow to rest in, too upright to lean on, and too slippery to comfortably sit on. Given how bumpy the ride was going at a sedate pace over smooth, military roads, Id hate to find out first-hand what itll be like travelling at breakneck speeds over dirt and grass. Its all too easy to imagine me biting my tongue off, impaling myself on my sword, or crashing into the other passengers and breaking all my fragile, non-Martial Warrior bones while our carriage breaks through a blockade or flees from an assassination attempt, assuming the pretty golden-yellow wood which tastelessly screams faux-Imperial even holds up beneath the initial attack.All in all, this opulent monstrosity is pleasing to the eye and hazardous to ones health, which essentially makes it Luo-Luo in vehicle form.Thats not entirely fair, because its hardly her fault shes as popular as she is, but I cant help but resent her for being the source of so many woes. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself to be nicer to Luo-Luo, I sit alone in the dim carriage interior and continue listing off its flaws and inadequacies, because there isnt much else to do while waiting for Binesi to give me the all clear. Everyone else ditched me and disembarked as soon as the carriage came to a stop, even sweet Aurie and loyal Mama Bun, but Im stuck in the carriage until the camp is secured. I cant just call my guards over and head out, noooo. Scouts need to comb through the surroundings and report back on areas of interest, patrols routes have to be drawn up and scheduled, defences dug in, checkpoints reinforced, passwords and confirmation codes exchanged, and a whole slew of minor details to handle and go over before I can step out into the open air, because Binesis safety measures makes my schizophrenic paranoia look like minor anxiety.Then again, if Im assassinated, itll probably spark off a civil war which will doom the Empire, so I guess better safe than sorry....The carriage needs more ventilation. It reeks of unwashed bunnies, aromatic wildcats, and heavily-perfumed courtesan, but probably because all the windows are shut. Ooh!, I should install bunbun receptacles. Small, cushioned boxes for them to rest in, like how they used to sleep in saddlebags when they were babies. Theres plenty of room under the future armrest, and over it too, so long as theyre padded on the outside just in case of impact. Gotta make sure we have one for every bunbun, so I wont have to worry about squishing someone every time I shift in my seat. Thisll mean more room to stretch out once I rip out the seats and replace them with more comfortable couches, ones deep enough for my wildcats to curl up on. Seriously, why do we need all this empty space and bare walls in the carriage? Its not like theres a fold-out table to work on, or a lantern to provide enough light to read by. There isnt even a cup holder or weapons receptacle, though to be fair, Mom, Alsantset, and Charok all seemed pretty blase about holding their spears all day, and even Luo-Luo didnt seem to mind cradling her sceptre and silly George at the same time....Its this god-damned mundane sword. I hate it. No matter how I wear it, it doesnt feel right, and I still cant get the hang of swinging it around. Ugh. Besides, this is really my fault anyways. I knew Luo-Luo was light on practical experience, so I shouldve paid more attention during the whole carriage creation process, but in my defence, I never expected to actually sit in this rolling coffin. I figured this would be Luo-Luos carriage, and Id ride Zabu everywhere or sit on a rickshaw with Lin-Lin, but man proposes, and Heaven disposes.Or more aptly, shit happens, and real shits going to happen right here in this carriage if Im stuck waiting much longer...By some miracle of the Mother, a knock sounds at the carriage door only moments before I call for my chamber pot once again, and Binesis voice sounds out. Ready and waiting, he intones, and I all but leap out of my seat to charge the door. Catching myself at the last moment, I take a second to compose myself before cracking the door open just a hair, ready to head out to use the latrines but not so eager to die just yet. Seriously, usually Im agonizing over the lack of safety measures, but even with Baby-Sitter Binesi here to dot the Is and cross the Ts, Im still not entirely at ease.Then again, thats probably normal, given my current situation. Five Supreme Families are gunning for my head, and while Yuzhen and MuYang have done a passable job fending off all the Imperial lackeys in the Northern Citadel, were on the road now and Dads back at the citadel along with his many, many soldiers. Its just me and ten-thousand Sentinels and soldiers against the world.Fun, fun, fun.A half-second later, biology wins out over uncertainty and I march out the carriage, hoping I look suitably calm and collected for my waiting friends and family. Alas, even if I do, theyre not around to appreciate it, as the only people waiting to receive me are my Death Corps guards and loyal, ever-present Ping Ping, with my caring family, sweet betrotheds, and lovable floofs all nowhere to be found. Heartbreaking, but Ill live, so I smile and hug the sweet turtle before turning to Green One to whisper, Escort me to my tent please. Not my yurt. Which is set up less than ten meters away and makes me suspect Binesis bullshit about securing the camp was probably just an excuse to keep me miserable. Then again, maybe not, since Binesi was stuck standing outside the carriage the entire time instead of leaving me to my personal protectors. I need to go. To my tent.Picking up on my none-too-subtle hints, Green One salutes, bows, and replies, Mercy, Imperial Consort. This one has failed you. Your tent was not set up, as per Major Binesis orders.Shit in a pot like a proper noble, private. Though delivered in the same neutral monotone as always, theres a hint of satisfaction in Binesis inflection as he scans our surroundings for danger. Move. Too exposed out here. After a short jaunt to the yurt, Binesi puts his hand on my chest to stop me from going in and heads up the stairs to check the interior, then all but tosses me inside. Nodding at the chamber pot, he adds, Enjoy.With the conversation finished as far as hes concerned, Binesi moves to shut the door, but I raise an arm to block it. Hang on. Bad move considering the difference in strength, but he magnanimously holds back from breaking my hand and glowers instead. Weak. If Akanais glower is a ten, and Milas an eight, then Binesis is barely a tepid four, but I still shoot a nervous glance at the shadows to my left. Major, if you would be so kind as to raise a Sound Barrier please, I say, and after a long pause, he rolls his eyes and complies. Or at least I assume he does, since he gestures at me to go on, so I nod in thanks and continue. Am I right to assume we have uninvited guests lurking about? Binesi nods, but I knew as much thanks to Pong Pongs astute senses alerting me to Scrying eyes all day. While we werent travelling at top speeds, we covered close to fifty kilometres today, which means were well out of range from spies situated inside the Northern Citadel, so any lingering eyes still with us are somewhere nearby. Considering the losses theyve already incurred, I doubt these shadowy presences are of Eastern origin. Dad and Charok slaughtered almost a hundred well-trained and well-equipped Imperial assassins during their heroic ride back from the farm, and I doubt the Supreme Families have hundreds more hanging around Central. Were probably looking at locals, either hired knives under contract or personal killers of influential families.Local blades kill just as well as Imperial ones.Well, unlike Imperials, these killers might not have any qualms about keeping things quiet. The corpses of the Imperial assassins had all been neatly removed and disposed of by the time I rode back to the Citadel a few hours later, which I thought was kinda weird. Every civilian from here to the farthest reaches of the Empire can see Im not a welcome addition to the Imperial Clan, but I guess the Legates enemies would prefer it if no one knew they were actively trying to have me murdered.Latching on to my train of thought, Binesi frowns and scratches his chin, mulling over the possibilities. Youre worried theyll strike regardless of the consequences.Yes. Chances are, theyve been given orders or made assurances to their Imperial backers, and desperate people do stupid things. Like launch a suicidal attack on a military camp of ten-thousand soldiers in the hopes of assassinating an upstart Imperial Consort. Im not too too worried about that, mostly because there really isnt anything I can do about it. If their forces are strong enough to kill me here, with Nian Zus Famous Fifty, the Marshals veteran honour guard, and my mother watching over me, well then I guess Ill die. What Im concerned about is what our enemies might do if they think they have no chance of success, because I doubt theyll just slink home and say, sorry boss, we couldnt do it. If it were up to me, Id do my best to introduce new variables by spoiling the food supply, blocking the road, killing someone else of importance, or most effectively of all, kidnapping a cute and lovable niece or nephew to force me into a vulnerable position.Hell, if someone demanded my death in exchange for Tali or Tates life, Id slit my throat myself.And what sort of idiocy are you planning?This chapter is updated by novelbiin.comSwallowing a snappy retort, I smile and say, To give our enemies hope, so they dont do anything too too smart or too stupid. Ignoring his grimace, I push on and explain, Weve left them no chance to strike at me, which means we cant predict where or when they will attack, but if we leave a flaw in my defences, an opening in my routine, then we can be ready and waiting when they inevitably strike.So you want to play the sacrificial goat and lure the tigers down from their mountains. Eyeing me in doubt, Binesi asks You know usually what happens to the goat, right? Much as I would enjoy being relieved of my duties, my job here is to keep you alive and prevent a doomed rebellion from plunging the front lines into chaos and giving the united Defiled an opportunity to break through. Curling his lip in a sneer, Binesi shuts the door and adds, Remain inside until we are ready to set out tomorrow morning.Im not asking for permission, I yell, hoping he can still hear me. Only for your cooperation.Faster than I can blink an eye, the door rips open and Binesi marches in, prodding at my chest even as he slams the door shut behind him. Step outside without my permission, he snarls, looming over me like a spectre of death, And I will have you drawn up on military charges and whipped within an inch of your life. This is no game, foundling. This is the fate of the Empire, the lives of hundreds of millions of people at stake here, so you will obey, or you will be made to With so many ships and barges pulling ashore for the night, it takes a little effort to find a place Ping Ping can slip in from, but the sweet girl refuses to go for a swim and stays on dry land instead. Daintily stretching her neck to slurp water from the river, she keeps a close eye on her surroundings while insisting I stand in the crook of her shoulder. Im not sure if its my imagination, but it feels like shes been more alert these past few days, maybe blaming herself for letting those assassins almost kill me. Also, I think she really misses her red panda friends, because every time I duck in to visit her in her Natal Palace, she brings me over to see them and squeaks in distress next to the chunkiest of chonkers. Its heartbreaking, and Im almost ready to tell the Legate that Ping Ping needs to go home for a spell. I could spin it as part of my most important Turtle Attendant duties, which is how I came up with this whole idea in the first place.Please let that giant red panda still be there. I wanna hug him sooooooo bad...After drinking enough water to fill a backyard pool, we head back to camp with a noticeable spring in Ping Pings step. Making a note to have the Death Corps bring her water to drink during lunch, I discuss the logistics with Green One until Binesi chimes in to tell us there are whole wagons filled with barrels of water, just for soldiers to drink. Since theyre filled every night, theres no harm in giving Ping Ping two or three during lunch, and we make it back to camp in high spirits thanks to the noticeable lack of bloody holes in my chest. After feeding her a few treats, I say farewell to the sleepy big turtle and leave her to rest, though it pains me to walk away from her mournful squeaks which tell me she still wants to play.I wish she were small and cute like inside her Natal Palace, then I could bring her into my yurt and carriage where we would cuddle all the time...I hate living like this, under strict guard at all times, and as I head into my yurt, I stop to watch my friends and family enjoying themselves after a long days ride. Lin-Lin and the twins busy themselves running around with the animals, while Mila, Yan, and Alsantset sit around in a distracted daze, wholly conscious and responsive, but not really entirely there. Mom is more or less in the same fugue state, though at least shes aware of her surroundings, and she responds to my gaze with a carefree smile and a sympathetic tilt of her head, though not sympathetic enough to come over and join me in incarceration.Grandpa Du claims theyre all like this because a part of their minds are still ruminating on the mysteries of Insight. He followed up the statement with a look like he expected me to jump for joy and praise the Mother Above or something, but I mean its cool and all that theyre receiving an upload from the universe, but thats not proof of anything. It only proves theres something strange but beneficial afoot, which I already knew because Chi. Maybe its the Mother Above, or maybe were all living in a simulation and our overseers are downloading kung-fu moves straight into our brains for shits and giggles. Who knows?Seriously though, cmon Mother in Heaven. Is this really how its gonna be? Im crippled here, and youre gonna taunt me by giving my family and loved ones casual power-ups? Totally not cool. Napping with turtles and playing in their Natal Palaces is nice and all, but I'd like something more tangible please.As Luo-Luo picks up the pear-shaped guitar-thing she calls a pipa, I spot Song heading off with a bucket of raw meat in hand. Going to check if her weasel-bear friend followed us all the way out here, no doubt. Shes been feeding him for days now, or feeding some animal, because even though she leaves meat out twice a day, she has yet to lay eyes on him since she first set him free. I doubt it followed our convoy fifty kilometres south, but I hope she finds him again, and not just because I want more floofs. She deserves to have a friend all of her own, and Im rooting for her to be happy.But I still want to pet it, so she better be okay with sharing. No matter how I imagine the combination, a weasel-bear just sounds so adorable and floofy.Clearing his throat from beside me, Binesi nudges me back into the yurt with only mildly less force than a boot to the ass. Grumbling about the indignity of it all, I look around and greet Naaran and the shadow guard with a slight nod, to which the former responds with a disgruntled Sending. Difficult to secretly guard you when you give away our presence, he admonishes, and I wince at my own stupidity. I cant help it, its just... manners, you know? If someones there, you greet them, thats just how it is. Your man came by with some documents and placed them on the table. Stop nodding and do not answer. I will stand guard, and you will go about your business as usual.Almost nodding in agreement despite the warning, I head over to the table and glance over the documents with a smile. Its a stack of correspondences with various people representing various interests, most of which are business related and entirely genuine, but strategically placed towards the bottom with a corner poking out is a letter from Situ Chi Gan, who according to Zian, is one of Patriarch Rang Mins strongest supporters. Apparently, Chi Gans son, Chi Lok, was a part of the group who chased us off after the Society Contests, and ended up deader than dirt, so Chi Gan swore to have his vengeance upon the Bekhai, which means my enemies should find it strange to see a letter from him in my possession. Less than a quarter of the letter is visible, but theres enough there for any spying Scryers to determine that Ive come to an agreement with Situ Chi Gan and were plotting to work together.The letters a forgery, of course, because not only did I not know the man existed until a few days ago, even if I knew who killed his son, Id never hand the person over like the letter implies, but its enough if my enemies believe it. Once word of this reaches Situ Rang Min, it should be enough to sow the seeds of doubt in his mind, but even if Rang Min has complete trust in Chi Gan, which I sincerely doubt, then its not like I invested a whole lot into the wasted scheme.Technically, MuYang did all the work, with Juniors help. Theres also a folder of forged documents Ill peruse later tonight, once Pong Pong alerts me to Scrying again, just in case leaving incriminating letters around is too obvious a bait. Honestly, it wouldve never occurred to me that the little turtle could sense Scrying of all things, but it explains why he glares at nothing so often, and stops when I go and investigate. According to Mom, Scrying is like shaving off a slice of your Domain, attaching it to your eye with Chi, and sending it out to look through. While the mechanics dont make much sense, I know that any external Chi construct will rapidly fall apart if it comes in contact with a living body, which means I was probably walking straight through their Scrying eyeballs while heading over to see what Pong Pong was staring at, and thereby ruining their little peep show.Even going by the few times I can confidently say someone was Scrying, I feel like way too many people have seen me walking around naked. I absolutely hate it, but unless I can teach Roc to sense Scying and ram his feathery ass into them, then Im shit out of luck.Settling down to wait for dinner, I open up the folder of forged letters in case someone is Scrying right now, while inwardly reviewing my lessons from Luo-Luo. Id ask her to come help review in person, but I had a difficult enough time keeping my hands to myself when she was sitting across from me in the carriage, and that was with Mom right there beside me. I dont know what it is, but theres something about Luo-Luo today which is so... alluring. Normally, shes so prim and proper all the time, with her flawlessly arranged hair, pristine posture, and perfectly smoothed skirts, but today, she looked a little out of sorts and less, I dunno, intimidating. I mean, she could still show up at a formal ball and fit right in, but there were minor imperfections which stuck out and somehow made her more appealing, approachable, and... vulnerable. A stray lock of hair out of place, the shoulder of her dress slipping slightly to one side, her seated posture laid-back and inviting, and her lips parted ever so slightly while she watched me with a wide-eyed, adoring stare... it sounds horrible to say, but she seemed so relaxed and defenceless, I had this primal urge to go over there and...I didnt though, and wouldnt have, even if Mom wasnt there, but I wanted to, even after her constant humming was starting to grate on my nerves. The animals loved it though, along with her impromptu performance from Alsantsets carriage, and I kinda wish I knew more about how it works. Ping Ping loves it when I hum to her, in real life and in her Natal Palace, but I dont feel anything different about it. Pong Pong on the other hand couldnt care less, and the rest of my floofs just love the attention, so I need to do more testing before I can come to a definitive conclusion on whether my humming has the same effect as Luo-Luos strumming.But all that is for another time, along with figuring out how to use Chi, repair a shattered Core, and how I can Devour Demon Ichor through touch. Right now, I have a much more difficult lesson to learn, which is how to fucking be polite. This means sitting down and reviewing my lessons in decorum until everything becomes second nature. No more wild, manner-less savage and foreigner Falling Rain, I must become a noble, respectable young man worthy of my lofty new station. It sounds easy, but the people here are so backwards when it comes to social interaction, and its all because of face. Its a stupid concept, and I still dont understand it, which is terrifying because even though everyone knows I dont understand face, no one can really offer a proper explanation. As far as I can tell, face is linked to dignity and prestige, but is a separate concept from both. Dad tried explaining it once and said, Face can be given, fought for, or lost, but it cannot be taken, and to demand face is to surrender all face you possess.Which is like... what does any of that even mean?The way I see it, face is about ego. People strut around with their giant heads, and lose their temper when theyre inevitably taken down a notch. Except its not inevitable, because everyone else tiptoes around their ego and say theyre giving face, which is stupid because why should I be responsible for coddling someone elses sense of self-worth? If you dont want to feel stupid, then dont do stupid things, which is a perfectly logical way to go through life, except everyone Ive ever brought this up with has been horrified by my take on face.Its not about the individual, Dad explained, Nor is it merely personal pride. It is more than that. It is respect earned by generations before, the dignity afforded to noble heroes of times gone by, or prestige earned by the community as a whole. Face is given to an individual, but it is shared as a whole.Which still doesnt really explain the concept, because there isnt a proper explanation for face. Its just this intangible currency were all supposed to take pride in accruing and feel ashamed if ever lost, but no one can tell how much face they have or really compare it with anyone else, so it becomes this endless contest of oneupsmanship where people compete with their exploits, wallets, heirs, and whatever else might come to mind.In other words, its all complete bullshit.No, thinking like this is why I keep getting into trouble all the time. Theres no point complaining about the broken system, because nothing will change, so like Nian Zu said, I need to learn from my mistakes and stay inside the lines. I just... gotta give face, and need to save face, because people will try to make me lose face. Cant act without regards for face, because that would be shameless, but I also cant appear to want face too much, because that would also be shameless. If Im too thick-skinned, Ill appear rude and unsociable, but being too thin-skinned will turn me into a laughing stock, because again, Ill seem desperate for face. There are no hard rules when it comes to face, which is disastrous because that means I only have my own judgment to rely on, which history has proven is complete and utter shit.So I guess Im doomed. Or not. Who knows. Not me. Definitely not me.Chapter Meme
